Never Throw Boloney by EJ Patterson (red queen ebook .TXT) 📕

or a ‘bad cold.’
Hyperthermia in my opinion. But I was totally fine with no school, no homework, and no having to face Charlotte. I decided to pretend I never got the nutcracker note. It would be easier that way.
Two weeks into January and I was already wishing it was summer. The chill of my bedroom was still there as I stood at the bus stop by myself, seething at the thought that my mother was nice and warm still in her pajamas sipping hot chocolate at the kitchen table. We got the call from school a week ago saying that the heating system in the school has been changed and repaired, so we can now skip happily off to school with a shiny apple in our hands to give to our giving teachers. But I was far from skipping, because if I did I would break my neck on the ice and die. The roads have been cleared, (if you call ten minutes of constant shoveling clearing the roads,) and I was waiting for the bus that probably only had four people on it.
When the bus finally pulled up I tripped getting on. Blushing, I slowly and cautiously got on the bus and scanned the torn seats for Charlotte. I saw her brown hair in an up-bun and I hurried toward her. Even with the awkwardness, I was desperate for a friend. “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long! How are”- I stopped short. Penelope was sitting next to her and they were laughing…at me. Charlotte looked up and the smile vanished from her face. “Uh-Maddie! Hi! How was your winter break?” she smiled a false cheery smile. “Fine,” I answered.
“You! Get a seat! Said the bus driver. My face turned a deeper red and I quickly took a seat in the back. I knew I shouldn’t be mad at Charlotte, and I really wasn’t. But just the fact that another person might be invading my friend life was almost unbearable. I took out my notebook from my backpack to doodle in. I was just about to finish my classic crude sketch of Penelope over a boiling cauldron when the bus hit a speed bump and my book went flying under a number of seats. I closed my eyes and wished to disappear while thinking in my mind, “God, I’m sorry for all the sins I’ve committed in life. Just Please.Please.Please let me get the book and not someone else.
“Hey, is this yours?” I quickly opened my eyes and found myself staring into the brown eyes of the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my life. “Uh, Yeah.” I answered back. Gee, thanks, God. “Thanks.” I took my book and hastily put it back in my backpack. “That’s a pretty good drawing of Penelope.” He said. I raised my eyebrows. “You know Penelope?” He chuckled.
“I should since she’s my cousin.” I was too shocked to do anything but stare. He laughed again. “Don’t worry. I hate her as much as you do.” Feeling daring I said “She stole my best friend away from me.” I looked in their direction. They were playing piano on their phones. “Charlotte Butant?” He said. “Yep. My names Madeline, by the way. Madeline Farrell.” “Oh yeah, I’ve seen you in English class,” He said. “I’m Johnny Canter and I hate computers, pickles, and Penelope Canter.” I giggled. “I don’t hate her, I lied. I just highly dislike her. She makes fun of me a lot.” I didn’t know why I was telling him all this. It was my problem, not his. “Me too. She calls me a butt wad. What does that even mean?” Johnny said. “She calls me a butt wad and a…” I trailed off. “What? What?” He said smiling. “A…A poop thrower.” He stared at me funny for a second and I seriously thought he was going to throw up. Then out of no where, we both burst out laughing. We laughed for at least three minutes straight. People on the bus started to stare. Even Charlotte looked over her seat to see what was going on. “Johnny!” Penelope snapped. “What.” He asked in a monotone, which made me laugh more. “Come here and sit with normal people.” She answered. His mouth twitched. “No way, you butt wad.”
This time even the bus driver turned to look at us. Johnny was on the floor and I was sliding down my seat. My throat hurt from laughing. His water bottle exploded right as we pulled into the snowy circle to our school, right on cue. The bus driver sighed as he told Johnny that he would clean up the mess. We got off the bus together and right before we turned into different hallways I said, “This is perfect. The bus driver has to clean up your mess after he yelled at me. I love life.” I said. I giggled and he chuckled and we turned into different directions. I really did love life at that moment.
****
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Johnny was the first boy I have ever had a crush on, and boy was I crushing hard. (Get it?) We sat together on the bus every day and next to each other in English and Science. He was the funniest guy I’ve ever met. Of course Charlotte and Dawn were all over me, asking me all about him, (is he nice did he kiss you are you clicking what’s his middle name…) And let me tell you, it can get very annoying. So we have been together on the bus for awhile, about a month and a half. One time on the bus he pushed some hair out of my eyes and I basically spazzed in my seat. Things were going great.

In gym one day I was jogging with Dawn when a great idea formed in my mind. “Hey! I have a great idea! Do you want to have a sleepover on Friday?” “That would be great!” She replied. “Just you and me?” She asked. “Sure! I’ve been a little mad at Charlotte lately anyway.” She looked puzzled. “Why? Is it because of Penelope?” “Who else? I mean, I know she’s allowed to hang out with whoever she wants, but guess what? She hasn’t talked to me once in a week.” “Oh, Maddie…” Dawn replied, she sounded sympathetic. “Not once?” I racked my brains through English, Art, and Home ECT class. “Well, in English once on Tuesday She asked me if Johnny asked about Penelope at all….” I looked around the Gym for Charlotte. She was jogging with Penelope behind us. “Slow down, Dawn. I want Charlotte to pass us.” We slowed down just as Penelope jogged pass us. I heard her say, “Yeah, so on Saturday we can…” My heart plummeted down to the dusty gym floor. They were going to hang out on Saturday. A girl in front of them tripped and fell. Penelope laughed but I could tell Charlotte wanted to help her, but of course, she laughed a totally fake laugh and kept jogging. Another idea formed in my mind. Dawn spoke my idea out loud. “We should invite Charlotte to our sleepover…” She said mysteriously. “I was just about to say that! We should! Maybe get some info out of her…” I said. We both giggled. “Maybe some info out of you too.” She said while giggling. “Yeah, Yeah…” I said. I wasn’t sure if this sleepover would turn into a good thing or a bad thing.

****
“MOM! THEY’RE HERE!” I bellowed up the stairs. It was Friday at 7:30pm and I just finished pouring Doritos into a plastic party bowl when the door bell rang. “ALLRIGHT! YOU CAN GET IT I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!” She bellowed back down the stairs. I rolled my eyes and ran to the door. “Hi!” I yelled when I opened the door. “AHH!” Charlotte screamed and she dropped her large duffel bag. It rolled helplessly back down the steps. “Maddie! Look what you made me do!” she said angrily. “Sorry…” I said. There was an uncomfortable silence which was broken by Dawn’s car rolling up the driveway. “Hey!” Dawn yelled. She ran up the driveway with her bag and pillow swinging over her shoulder. “So are we going to have fun tonight or what?” She yelled in our ears. I laughed, but Charlotte said, “God Dawn! Tone it down a bit!” And then Charlotte just walked into the house without a word. Dawn and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes at the same time. “This is going to be a long night.” She said. I nodded.
“A very long night.”


“Truth or dare?” Dawn asked me. I hesitated. If I said truth, she would defiantly ask about Johnny. If I said dare, she would probably dare me to tell them something about Johnny. Either way, Johnny would become the main subject of the conversation. “Dare.” I said finally. “o.k.,” she said slyly. “I dare you to write a big love letter to Johnny and put it into his locker on Monday.”
I blanched.
“What!” I am not doing that!” I do not like him that way! (Liar) How many times do I have to tell you!?”
But Dawn just shook her head and led me to my dad’s office for paper and a pencil. She defiantly knew I was lying. I was then dropped down on a squashy stool in the kitchen and was told to write the most gushy mushy love note in history. I reluctantly picked up the pencil and wrote, Dear Johnny,.
I stopped. Did I really have to write this? Or I could but just not put it in his locker…. “Hey Dawn! Guess what! You’re a big flubber! Yeah you heard me!” I yelled. I heard giggling coming from the living room. “I’m not gonna write this!” I yelled in a sing-sing voice. “Oh yes you are!” I heard Dawn yell back. “CHICKEN! MADDIE IS A CHICKEN!” I heard Charlotte sneer. So I wrote and wrote. And wrote. Dawn strolled in just after I finished. “Done?” She asked, grinning. “Uh huh. Is Charlotte saying anything at all?” I asked. The last thing I saw Charlotte do before I said ‘Dare’ is texting. She hasn’t said one full sentence all night, (except for calling me a fat chicken.) “Still texting. One guess who.” We walked into the living room and there she was, her fingers flying across the keypad on her phone like bullets. “Hey Charlotte, Maddie wrote the letter.” Dawn said awkwardly. Charlotte looked up for a split second then back down on her keyboard. “Cool.” Dawn and I looked at each other funny again. “So, Char, truth or dare?” I asked sitting down next to her. “What?” She said. “TRUTH OR DARE?” I said louder. “Truth.” She said without looking up. “Have you ever peed in the pool?” I asked. “You’re disgusting Maddie. Grow up.”
That did it. The dormant volcano in my chest erupted. Again.
“NO, YOU NEED TO GROW UP!” I bellowed. “DAWN AND I POLITELY INVITED YOU HERE AND ALL YOU’VE DONE ALL NIGHT IS TEXT! YOU’RE ACTING REALLY WEIRD LATELY AND WE DON’T