Never Throw Boloney by EJ Patterson (red queen ebook .TXT) 📕
Excerpt from the book:
Madeline Farrell has a perfectly normal life-with the exception of almost half of it. Will Maddie ever survive 8 grade, or will she forever be baloney?
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- Author: EJ Patterson
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LIKE IT! YOU’RE BEING SNOBBY AND RUDE AND INSULTING AND I’M STARTING TO GET TIRED OF IT! SO EITHER PUT DOWN THE STUPID PHONE AND ACT LIKE A FRIEND OR GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” My face was hot and my ears were starting to burn. My hands were balled into fists and I was breathing heavily. Charlotte sat staring at me on the ground, her phone finally sliding out of her limp hand and onto the ground. Her mouth was open and she was gaping like a fish out of water. I turned my head to look at Dawn. She was standing in the corner with a half smile on her face, half frown. Then, to my surprise, she walked over and put her arm around me. She turned triumphantly toward Charlotte and said, “I’m with Maddie on this one.” I beamed at her. She beamed back. Charlotte slowly got up off the ground and stared at us, as if she were in a daze. “How dare you.” She muttered to us. “You’re just jealous that I have popular friends and you don’t.” She got her stuff together and took out her phone. Then, with as much dignity as she had left, Charlotte stormed out of my house without another word.
Chapter 6
“I still can’t believe you said that.” Dawn said on Tuesday. It was lunch and she and Johnny were sitting with me. I hoped Dawn forgot about the dare because I never put the letter in Johnny’s locker. Penelope and Charlotte were sitting at another table with the popular people. “Well, believe it, cause I did.” “Repeat what you said again, Maddie.” Johnny said. “I want to savor it.” “I thought you hated Penelope, not Charlotte.” I said through a mouthful of bologna sandwich. I realized how un-classy this must look, so I quickly swallowed my sandwich and took a swig from my water bottle. “I don’t hate her, I highly dislike her.” He mimicked. I kicked him from under the table. “Ow! That wasn’t very nice! Tsk Tsk!” We all laughed. “No, really, I’m serious. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Dawn said. I snorted. “Me neither. It just sorta…came out of me.” I said, delicately crunching my potatoes chips. I really didn’t want to look disgusting in front of Johnny. “Well, I’m glad it did come out.” Dawn said. “Charlotte was being a big pain in the butt.” I nodded while crunching the same chips I’ve been chewing for the past minute. I finally swallowed. “Please say it again!” Johnny pleaded. He stuck out his lower lip and opened his eyes wide. We laughed. “Fine, but I don’t really remember what I said exactly…” I said. “Oh, just do it Maddie.” Dawn said, joining Johnny with the puppy-dog face. I smiled. “Ok, ok. I said something like, “You need to grow up you’re being rude and snobby and insulting! Put down the dumb phone”- “Stupid.” Dawn interrupted. “Whatever,” I said. “And stop texting or just get out of my house!” They clapped politely and I did a fake bow, which is very hard to do when you’re sitting. I finally finished my chips and was starting my apple when I remembered the long forgotten note I got in English about three months ago. Without thinking, I said, “Ohmygod! I almost forgot!” “What?” Dawn said quickly. “A couple months ago, I”- But I stopped short. I liked Johnny, (obviously,) but him being Penelope’s cousin, it was too risky. I wasn’t sure if the note was from Penelope, but she was still a prime suspect. “-Took out a book from the library and never returned it. I must have to pay like five thousand dollars by now.” I laughed a totally fake laugh and they stared at me like I had another head. I quickly went back to my apple. I would tell Dawn tomorrow after school. Johnny and Dawn were discussing the latest History assignment, and, just to cover up my moment of insanity, I joined them.
“Dawn, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked, my teeth chattering. It was a freezing school afternoon and I was finally going to confide in Dawn the secret of the note. “What’s up?” She asked while pulling on gloves. I took in a deep breath and said, “It’s a long story which I should have told you about a really long time ago, but here goes…” I told her the whole story from that memorable day on the bus to the note to the nutcracker doll to the sleepover. The whole time she just stood there, mouth slightly open, staring right into my eyes. “The End.” I said. My mouth was strangely dry. To my great surprise, she looked annoyed. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? You didn’t trust me or something?” Oh no. No, no, no, no. I was not going to lose another friend. “No! I trusted you, it’s just I could never find the right time to tell you.” This is me, being my wimpy self. I’m such a coward. She raised her eye brows and to my intense relief, she smiled. “I’m just too tired, cold, and weak to fight now.” I smiled too. “So who do you think sent me the note?” She sat silently. “I don’t know, Maddie,” She sighed, twisting a strand of her long yellow hair with her finger. “Probably Charlotte and Penelope. Or it could have been one their cronies who are in your English class. Are there any popular people in your English class, besides Charlotte and Penelope?” I screwed my eye’s shut in concentration. “Yeah… Jillian Yates, Kiyla Henderson, and… uh… Wendy Nott.” “It could have been any of them, too. I don’t think it was Kiyla, though. She is really nice, a weird thing to happen when you’re in the popular crowd.” I said. Dawn nodded. “Well,” She said, slinging her bag over shoulder, (her mom’s car was coming to pick her up,) “Were just gonna have to wait and see in April.”
****
I was sitting at my desk doing my impossible Science Homework, (The function of the Gall bladder is…) when the phone rang. I heard a distant and muffled, “Hello? Hey… Sure. Just a sec.” I heard the stomping of Todd feet coming up the stairs then he just barged his way into my room. “Maddie, phone. It’s a boy.” I snatched the phone out of his hands and kicked him in the leg. He quickly retreated from my room. “Hello?” I said. “Hi Maddie! It’s Johnny.” I was so surprised I didn’t answer for a moment. “Uh, Maddie? You there?” “Oh! Yes, I’m here. What’s up?” “I was just wondering if you wanted to go get pizza with me Saturday. We can study for that stupid science test.” My heart leapt. “Sure! It’ll be fun!” I basically screamed into the phone. He laughed. “Cool. See you tomorrow. See ya.” “Bye!” I said cheerfully. JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!!!! Well not a date, but we going to be alone studying together while eating pizza. I shrieked. I had to tell one of my friends! I almost dialed Charlotte’s number without thinking. I forgot we weren’t friends.
So I dialed Dawn’s number instead. “DAWN! OHMYGOD!!!” I yelled into the phone. “WHAT?” She yelled back. “JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT!” “AHHHH!” She screamed happily. I told her whole story, the whole time each of us letting out random bursts of ‘ahhh’s’. I finally got off the phone, and floated all the way down the stairs to put the phone back on the receiver.
I didn’t even complain when my mom told me to help set the table.
And that never happens.
****
The feeling of me floating soon evaporated when my mom talked to me that night. I was sitting in my room happily daydreaming about my study date tomorrow when my mom knocked on the door. “Come in!” I said in a sing-song voice. She smiled. “Someone is sure in a good mood.” “Yup! Guess why!” “A boy I like and am friends with just asked me out!” The smile on her face slowly faded. My stomach clenched. “What? I’m free Saturday. I own a calendar.” “Yes, honey, but… you’re too young to start dating.” I stared at her. “But mom…mommy…mama…” I said while chuckling nervously. “It’s just at Zallions Pizza around the corner. We’re just going to study. What else would we do?” she looked at me cautiously. It suddenly dawned on me what my mom was thinking. My face grew pink. “Mom! I’m responsible! Besides, if you can trust Todd with Meryl, you can trust me with Johnny!” My mom shook her head. “Todd was different. And I do trust you,” She added when she saw me open my mouth in outrage. “How old was Todd when he started to date?” I asked. She mumbled something that sounded oddly like “twelve”. “Twelve! Mom, I’m almost fourteen, in a month and a half! Why can’t you trust me?” My eye’s stung and the volcano in my chest was overflowing hatred all over my emotions, causing them all to spring up at once. First, my eye’s started to water, and then anger rose in me. Then I felt hurt. Then hopeless. All my good emotions seemed to have gotten drowned by the fiery depths of my heart now controlling me. “Honey…” she said, reaching out to pat my arm. I quickly pulled my arm out of her grasp and swiped at my eyes. “You know what?” She said. I quickly focused my attention on her. “I understand you’re upset Maddie, but that gives you no right to be fresh with me.” I stared at the floor. She sighed. “My decision is final. Goodnight.” She went to kiss my head but I squirmed away. She sighed again, and then walked out of my room, closing the door loudly behind her. She shouldn’t be mad. She wanted kids, and she got them. She should have known that babies don’t stay babies. That they turn into children who turn into teens who turn into adults who turn into parents…I thought. Besides, even the thought of kissing Johnny made me squirm. I knew that at one point I’d want to, but not now. The most I wanted was him to hold my hand and never let go.
CHAPTER 7
After I told Dawn what my mom said, she wasn’t actually that surprised. “I couldn’t see you going out on a date anyhow.” “I also want to ask you a question.
Do you want to go to the soup kitchen with me on Saturday? Just to
Chapter 6
“I still can’t believe you said that.” Dawn said on Tuesday. It was lunch and she and Johnny were sitting with me. I hoped Dawn forgot about the dare because I never put the letter in Johnny’s locker. Penelope and Charlotte were sitting at another table with the popular people. “Well, believe it, cause I did.” “Repeat what you said again, Maddie.” Johnny said. “I want to savor it.” “I thought you hated Penelope, not Charlotte.” I said through a mouthful of bologna sandwich. I realized how un-classy this must look, so I quickly swallowed my sandwich and took a swig from my water bottle. “I don’t hate her, I highly dislike her.” He mimicked. I kicked him from under the table. “Ow! That wasn’t very nice! Tsk Tsk!” We all laughed. “No, really, I’m serious. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Dawn said. I snorted. “Me neither. It just sorta…came out of me.” I said, delicately crunching my potatoes chips. I really didn’t want to look disgusting in front of Johnny. “Well, I’m glad it did come out.” Dawn said. “Charlotte was being a big pain in the butt.” I nodded while crunching the same chips I’ve been chewing for the past minute. I finally swallowed. “Please say it again!” Johnny pleaded. He stuck out his lower lip and opened his eyes wide. We laughed. “Fine, but I don’t really remember what I said exactly…” I said. “Oh, just do it Maddie.” Dawn said, joining Johnny with the puppy-dog face. I smiled. “Ok, ok. I said something like, “You need to grow up you’re being rude and snobby and insulting! Put down the dumb phone”- “Stupid.” Dawn interrupted. “Whatever,” I said. “And stop texting or just get out of my house!” They clapped politely and I did a fake bow, which is very hard to do when you’re sitting. I finally finished my chips and was starting my apple when I remembered the long forgotten note I got in English about three months ago. Without thinking, I said, “Ohmygod! I almost forgot!” “What?” Dawn said quickly. “A couple months ago, I”- But I stopped short. I liked Johnny, (obviously,) but him being Penelope’s cousin, it was too risky. I wasn’t sure if the note was from Penelope, but she was still a prime suspect. “-Took out a book from the library and never returned it. I must have to pay like five thousand dollars by now.” I laughed a totally fake laugh and they stared at me like I had another head. I quickly went back to my apple. I would tell Dawn tomorrow after school. Johnny and Dawn were discussing the latest History assignment, and, just to cover up my moment of insanity, I joined them.
“Dawn, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked, my teeth chattering. It was a freezing school afternoon and I was finally going to confide in Dawn the secret of the note. “What’s up?” She asked while pulling on gloves. I took in a deep breath and said, “It’s a long story which I should have told you about a really long time ago, but here goes…” I told her the whole story from that memorable day on the bus to the note to the nutcracker doll to the sleepover. The whole time she just stood there, mouth slightly open, staring right into my eyes. “The End.” I said. My mouth was strangely dry. To my great surprise, she looked annoyed. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? You didn’t trust me or something?” Oh no. No, no, no, no. I was not going to lose another friend. “No! I trusted you, it’s just I could never find the right time to tell you.” This is me, being my wimpy self. I’m such a coward. She raised her eye brows and to my intense relief, she smiled. “I’m just too tired, cold, and weak to fight now.” I smiled too. “So who do you think sent me the note?” She sat silently. “I don’t know, Maddie,” She sighed, twisting a strand of her long yellow hair with her finger. “Probably Charlotte and Penelope. Or it could have been one their cronies who are in your English class. Are there any popular people in your English class, besides Charlotte and Penelope?” I screwed my eye’s shut in concentration. “Yeah… Jillian Yates, Kiyla Henderson, and… uh… Wendy Nott.” “It could have been any of them, too. I don’t think it was Kiyla, though. She is really nice, a weird thing to happen when you’re in the popular crowd.” I said. Dawn nodded. “Well,” She said, slinging her bag over shoulder, (her mom’s car was coming to pick her up,) “Were just gonna have to wait and see in April.”
****
I was sitting at my desk doing my impossible Science Homework, (The function of the Gall bladder is…) when the phone rang. I heard a distant and muffled, “Hello? Hey… Sure. Just a sec.” I heard the stomping of Todd feet coming up the stairs then he just barged his way into my room. “Maddie, phone. It’s a boy.” I snatched the phone out of his hands and kicked him in the leg. He quickly retreated from my room. “Hello?” I said. “Hi Maddie! It’s Johnny.” I was so surprised I didn’t answer for a moment. “Uh, Maddie? You there?” “Oh! Yes, I’m here. What’s up?” “I was just wondering if you wanted to go get pizza with me Saturday. We can study for that stupid science test.” My heart leapt. “Sure! It’ll be fun!” I basically screamed into the phone. He laughed. “Cool. See you tomorrow. See ya.” “Bye!” I said cheerfully. JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!!!! Well not a date, but we going to be alone studying together while eating pizza. I shrieked. I had to tell one of my friends! I almost dialed Charlotte’s number without thinking. I forgot we weren’t friends.
So I dialed Dawn’s number instead. “DAWN! OHMYGOD!!!” I yelled into the phone. “WHAT?” She yelled back. “JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT!” “AHHHH!” She screamed happily. I told her whole story, the whole time each of us letting out random bursts of ‘ahhh’s’. I finally got off the phone, and floated all the way down the stairs to put the phone back on the receiver.
I didn’t even complain when my mom told me to help set the table.
And that never happens.
****
The feeling of me floating soon evaporated when my mom talked to me that night. I was sitting in my room happily daydreaming about my study date tomorrow when my mom knocked on the door. “Come in!” I said in a sing-song voice. She smiled. “Someone is sure in a good mood.” “Yup! Guess why!” “A boy I like and am friends with just asked me out!” The smile on her face slowly faded. My stomach clenched. “What? I’m free Saturday. I own a calendar.” “Yes, honey, but… you’re too young to start dating.” I stared at her. “But mom…mommy…mama…” I said while chuckling nervously. “It’s just at Zallions Pizza around the corner. We’re just going to study. What else would we do?” she looked at me cautiously. It suddenly dawned on me what my mom was thinking. My face grew pink. “Mom! I’m responsible! Besides, if you can trust Todd with Meryl, you can trust me with Johnny!” My mom shook her head. “Todd was different. And I do trust you,” She added when she saw me open my mouth in outrage. “How old was Todd when he started to date?” I asked. She mumbled something that sounded oddly like “twelve”. “Twelve! Mom, I’m almost fourteen, in a month and a half! Why can’t you trust me?” My eye’s stung and the volcano in my chest was overflowing hatred all over my emotions, causing them all to spring up at once. First, my eye’s started to water, and then anger rose in me. Then I felt hurt. Then hopeless. All my good emotions seemed to have gotten drowned by the fiery depths of my heart now controlling me. “Honey…” she said, reaching out to pat my arm. I quickly pulled my arm out of her grasp and swiped at my eyes. “You know what?” She said. I quickly focused my attention on her. “I understand you’re upset Maddie, but that gives you no right to be fresh with me.” I stared at the floor. She sighed. “My decision is final. Goodnight.” She went to kiss my head but I squirmed away. She sighed again, and then walked out of my room, closing the door loudly behind her. She shouldn’t be mad. She wanted kids, and she got them. She should have known that babies don’t stay babies. That they turn into children who turn into teens who turn into adults who turn into parents…I thought. Besides, even the thought of kissing Johnny made me squirm. I knew that at one point I’d want to, but not now. The most I wanted was him to hold my hand and never let go.
CHAPTER 7
After I told Dawn what my mom said, she wasn’t actually that surprised. “I couldn’t see you going out on a date anyhow.” “I also want to ask you a question.
Do you want to go to the soup kitchen with me on Saturday? Just to
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