He Knew He Was Right by Anthony Trollope (books you need to read .txt) 📕

not such an insignificant creature, as was she, love Mr Gibson or any

other man, who had bread to give her, and was in some degree like a

gentleman? On that night, she wrote the following letter to her sister:

‘The Close, Tuesday

DEAREST PRISCILLA,

I do so wish that you could be with me, so that I could talk to you

again. Aunt Stanbury is the most affectionate and kindest friend in the

world; but she has always been so able to have her own way, because she

is both clever and good, that I find myself almost like a baby with

her. She has been talking to me again about Mr Gibson; and it seems

that Mr Gibson really does mean it. It is certainly very strange; but I

do think now that it is true. He is to come on Friday. It seems very

odd that it should all be settled for him in that way; but then Aunt

Stanbury is so clever at settling things!

He sat next to me almost all the evening yesterday but he didn’t say

anything about it, except that he hoped I agreed with him about going

to church, and all that. I suppose I do; and I am quite sure that if I

were to be a clergyman’s wife, I should endeavour to do whatever my

husband thought right about religion. One ought to try to do so, even

if the clergyman is not one’s husband. Mr Burgess has come, and he was

so very amusing all the evening, that perhaps that was the reason Mr

Gibson said so little. Mr Burgess is a very nice man, and I think Aunt

Stanbury is more fond of him than of anybody. He is not at all the sort

of person that I expected.

But if Mr Gibson does come on Friday, and do really mean it, what am I

to say to him? Aunt Stanbury will be very angry if I do not take her

advice. I am quite sure that she intends it all for my happiness; and

then, of course, she knows so much more about the world than I do. She

asks me what it is that I expect. Of course, I do not expect anything.

It is a great compliment from Mr Gibson, who is a clergyman, and

thought well of by everybody. And nothing could be more respectable.

Aunt Stanbury says that with the money she would give us we should be

quite comfortable; and she wants us to live in this house. She says

that there are thirty girls round Exeter who would give their eyes for

such a chance; and, looking at it in that light, of course, it is a

very great thing for me. Only think how poor we have been! And then,

dear Priscilla, perhaps he would let me be good to you and dear mamma!

But, of course, he will ask me whether I love him; and what am I to

say? Aunt Stanbury says that I am to love him. “Begin to love him at

once,” she said this morning. I would if I could, partly for her sake,

and because I do feel that it would be so respectable. When I think of

it, it does seem such a pity that poor I should throw away such a

chance. And I must say that Mr Gibson is very good, and most obliging;

and everybody says that he has an excellent temper, and that he is a

most prudent, well-dispositioned man. I declare, dear Priscilla, when I

think of it, I cannot bring myself to believe that such a man should

want me to be his wife.

But what ought I to do? I suppose when a girl is in love she is very

unhappy if the gentleman does not propose to her. I am sure it would

not make me at all unhappy if I were told that Mr Gibson had changed

his mind.

Dearest Priscilla, you must write at once; because he is to be here on

Friday. Oh, dear; Friday does seem to be so near! And I shall never

know what to say to him, either one way or the other.

Your most affectionate sister,

DOROTHY STANBURY.

P.S. Give my kindest love to mamma; but you need not tell her unless

you think it best.’

Priscilla received this letter on the Wednesday morning, and felt

herself bound to answer it on that same afternoon. Had she postponed

her reply for a day, it would still have been in Dorothy’s hands before

Mr Gibson could have come to her on the dreaded Friday morning. But

still that would hardly give her time enough to consider the matter

with any degree of deliberation after she should have been armed with

what wisdom Priscilla might be able to send her. The post left Nuncombe

Putney at three; and therefore the letter had to be written before

their early dinner.

So Priscilla went into the garden and sat hers down under an old cedar

that she might discuss the matter with herself in all its bearings. She

felt that no woman could be called upon to write a letter that should

be of more importance. The whole welfare in life of the person who was

dearest to her would probably depend upon it. The weight upon her was

so great that she thought for a while she would take counsel with her

mother; but she felt sure that her mother would recommend the marriage;

and that if she afterwards should find herself bound to oppose it, then

her mother would be a miserable woman. There could be no use to her

taking counsel with her mother, because her mother’s mind was known to

her beforehand. The responsibility was thrown upon her, and she alone

must bear it.

She tried hard to persuade herself to write at once and tell her sister

to marry the man. She knew her sister’s heart so well as to be sure

that Dorothy would learn to love the man who was her husband. It was

almost impossible that Dorothy should not love those with whom she

lived. And then her sister was so well adapted to be a wife and a

mother. Her temper was so sweet, she was so pure, so unselfish, so

devoted, and so healthy withal! She was so happy when she was acting

for others; and so excellent in action when she had another one to

think for her! She was so trusting and trustworthy that any husband

would adore her! Then Priscilla walked slowly into the house, got her

prayer-book, and returning to her seat under the tree, read the

marriage service. It was one o’clock when she went upstairs to write

her letter, and it had not yet struck eleven when she first seated

herself beneath the tree. Her letter, when written, was as follows:

‘Nuncombe Putney, August 25, 186-.

DEAREST DOROTHY,

I got your letter this morning, and I think it is better to answer it

at once, as the time is very short. I have been thinking about it with

all my mind, and I feel almost awe-stricken lest I should advise you

wrongly. After all, I believe that your own dear sweet truth and

honesty would guide you better than anybody else can guide you. You may

be sure of this, that whichever way it is, I shall think that you have

done right. Dearest sister, I suppose there can be no doubt that for

most women a married life is happier than a single one. It is always

thought so, as we may see by the anxiety of others to get married; and

when an opinion becomes general, I think that the world is most often

right. And then, my own one, I feel sure that you are adapted both for

the cares and for the joys of married life. You would do your duty as a

married woman happily, and would be a comfort to your husband not a

thorn in his side, as are so many women.

‘But, my pet, do not let that reasoning of Aunt Stanbury’s about the

thirty young girls who would give their eyes for Mr Gibson, have any

weight with you. You should not take him because thirty other young

girls would be glad to have him. And do not think too much of that

respectability of which you speak. I would never advise my Dolly to

marry any man unless she could be respectable in her new position; but

that alone should go for nothing. Nor should our poverty. We shall not

starve. And even if we did, that would be but a poor excuse.

I can find no escape from this that you should love him before you say

that you will take him. But honest, loyal love need not, I take it, be

of that romantic kind which people write about in novels and poetry.

You need not think him to be perfect, or the best or grandest of men.

Your heart will tell you whether he is dear to you. And remember,

Dolly, that I shall remember that love itself must begin at some

precise time. Though you had not learned to love him when you wrote on

Tuesday, you may have begun to do so when you get this on Thursday.

If you find that you love him, then say that you will be his wife. If

your heart revolts from such a declaration as being false if you cannot

bring yourself to feel that you prefer him to others as the partner of

your life then tell him, with thanks for his courtesy, that it cannot

be as he would have it.

Yours always and ever most affectionately,

PRISCILLA.’