Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens (ebooks that read to you .txt) 📕

near his heart, but was fain to put it in the pocket of his pantaloons on account of the insecurity of his waistcoat. The Major then took a very polished and chivalrous farewell of both ladies, which the elder one acknowledged in her usual manner, while the younger, sitting with her face addressed to the window, bent her head so slightly that it would have been a greater compliment to the Major to have made no sign at all, and to have left him to infer that he had not been heard or thought of.

‘As to alteration in her, Sir,’ mused the Major on his way back; on which expedition—the afternoon being sunny and hot—he ordered the Native and the light baggage to the front, and walked in the shadow of that expatriated prince: ‘as to alteration, Sir, and pining, and so forth, that won’t go down with Joseph Bagstock, None of that, Sir. It won’t do here. But as to there being something of a division between ‘em—or a gulf as the mother calls it—damme, Sir, that seems true enough. And it’s odd enough! Well, Sir!’ panted the Major, ‘Edith Granger and Dombey are well matched; let ‘em fight it out! Bagstock backs the winner!’

The Major, by saying these latter words aloud, in the vigour of his thoughts, caused the unhappy Native to stop, and turn round, in the belief that he was personally addressed. Exasperated to the last degree by this act of insubordination, the Major (though he was swelling with enjoyment of his own humour), at the moment of its occurrence instantly thrust his cane among the Native’s ribs, and continued to stir him up, at short intervals, all the way to the hotel.

Nor was the Major less exasperated as he dressed for dinner, during which operation the dark servant underwent the pelting of a shower of miscellaneous objects, varying in size from a boot to a hairbrush, and including everything that came within his master’s reach. For the Major plumed himself on having the Native in a perfect state of drill, and visited the least departure from strict discipline with this kind of fatigue duty. Add to this, that he maintained the Native about his person as a counter-irritant against the gout, and all other vexations, mental as well as bodily; and the Native would appear to have earned his pay—which was not large.

At length, the Major having disposed of all the missiles that were convenient to his hand, and having called the Native so many new names as must have given him great occasion to marvel at the resources of the English language, submitted to have his cravat put on; and being dressed, and finding himself in a brisk flow of spirits after this exercise, went downstairs to enliven ‘Dombey’ and his right-hand man.

Dombey was not yet in the room, but the right-hand man was there, and his dental treasures were, as usual, ready for the Major.

‘Well, Sir!’ said the Major. ‘How have you passed the time since I had the happiness of meeting you? Have you walked at all?’

‘A saunter of barely half an hour’s duration,’ returned Carker. ‘We have been so much occupied.’

‘Business, eh?’ said the Major.

‘A variety of little matters necessary to be gone through,’ replied Carker. ‘But do you know—this is quite unusual with me, educated in a distrustful school, and who am not generally disposed to be communicative,’ he said, breaking off, and speaking in a charming tone of frankness—‘but I feel quite confidential with you, Major Bagstock.’

‘You do me honour, Sir,’ returned the Major. ‘You may be.’

‘Do you know, then,’ pursued Carker, ‘that I have not found my friend—our friend, I ought rather to call him—’

‘Meaning Dombey, Sir?’ cried the Major. ‘You see me, Mr Carker, standing here! J. B.?’

He was puffy enough to see, and blue enough; and Mr Carker intimated the he had that pleasure.

‘Then you see a man, Sir, who would go through fire and water to serve Dombey,’ returned Major Bagstock.

Mr Carker smiled, and said he was sure of it. ‘Do you know, Major,’ he proceeded: ‘to resume where I left off: that I have not found our friend so attentive to business today, as usual?’

‘No?’ observed the delighted Major.

‘I have found him a little abstracted, and with his attention disposed to wander,’ said Carker.

‘By Jove, Sir,’ cried the Major, ‘there’s a lady in the case.’

‘Indeed, I begin to believe there really is,’ returned Carker; ‘I thought you might be jesting when you seemed to hint at it; for I know you military men’—

The Major gave the horse’s cough, and shook his head and shoulders, as much as to say, ‘Well! we are gay dogs, there’s no denying.’ He then seized Mr Carker by the button-hole, and with starting eyes whispered in his ear, that she was a woman of extraordinary charms, Sir. That she was a young widow, Sir. That she was of a fine family, Sir. That Dombey was over head and ears in love with her, Sir, and that it would be a good match on both sides; for she had beauty, blood, and talent, and Dombey had fortune; and what more could any couple have? Hearing Mr Dombey’s footsteps without, the Major cut himself short by saying, that Mr Carker would see her tomorrow morning, and would judge for himself; and between his mental excitement, and the exertion of saying all this in wheezy whispers, the Major sat gurgling in the throat and watering at the eyes, until dinner was ready.

The Major, like some other noble animals, exhibited himself to great advantage at feeding-time. On this occasion, he shone resplendent at one end of the table, supported by the milder lustre of Mr Dombey at the other; while Carker on one side lent his ray to either light, or suffered it to merge into both, as occasion arose.

During the first course or two, the Major was usually grave; for the Native, in obedience to general orders, secretly issued, collected every sauce and cruet round him, and gave him a great deal to do, in taking out the stoppers, and mixing up the contents in his plate. Besides which, the Native had private zests and flavours on a side-table, with which the Major daily scorched himself; to say nothing of strange machines out of which he spirited unknown liquids into the Major’s drink. But on this occasion, Major Bagstock, even amidst these many occupations, found time to be social; and his sociality consisted in excessive slyness for the behoof of Mr Carker, and the betrayal of Mr Dombey’s state of mind.

‘Dombey,’ said the Major, ‘you don’t eat; what’s the matter?’

‘Thank you,’ returned the gentleman, ‘I am doing very well; I have no great appetite today.’

‘Why, Dombey, what’s become of it?’ asked the Major. ‘Where’s it gone? You haven’t left it with our friends, I’ll swear, for I can answer for their having none to-day at luncheon. I can answer for one of ‘em, at least: I won’t say which.’

Then the Major winked at Carker, and became so frightfully sly, that his dark attendant was obliged to pat him on the back, without orders, or he would probably have disappeared under the table.

In a later stage of the dinner: that is to say, when the Native stood at the Major’s elbow ready to serve the first bottle of champagne: the Major became still slyer.

‘Fill this to the brim, you scoundrel,’ said the Major, holding up his glass. ‘Fill Mr Carker’s to the brim too. And Mr Dombey’s too. By Gad, gentlemen,’ said the Major, winking at his new friend, while Mr Dombey looked into his plate with a conscious air, ‘we’ll consecrate this glass of wine to a Divinity whom Joe is proud to know, and at a distance humbly and reverently to admire. Edith,’ said the Major, ‘is her name; angelic Edith!’

‘To angelic Edith!’ cried the smiling Carker.

‘Edith, by all means,’ said Mr Dombey.

The entrance of the waiters with new dishes caused the Major to be slyer yet, but in a more serious vein. ‘For though among ourselves, Joe Bagstock mingles jest and earnest on this subject, Sir,’ said the Major, laying his finger on his lips, and speaking half apart to Carker, ‘he holds that name too sacred to be made the property of these fellows, or of any fellows. Not a word, Sir, while they are here!’

This was respectful and becoming on the Major’s part, and Mr Dombey plainly felt it so. Although embarrassed in his own frigid way, by the Major’s allusions, Mr Dombey had no objection to such rallying, it was clear, but rather courted it. Perhaps the Major had been pretty near the truth, when he had divined that morning that the great man who was too haughty formally to consult with, or confide in his prime minister, on such a matter, yet wished him to be fully possessed of it. Let this be how it may, he often glanced at Mr Carker while the Major plied his light artillery, and seemed watchful of its effect upon him.

But the Major, having secured an attentive listener, and a smiler who had not his match in all the world—‘in short, a devilish intelligent and able fellow,’ as he often afterwards declared—was not going to let him off with a little slyness personal to Mr Dombey. Therefore, on the removal of the cloth, the Major developed himself as a choice spirit in the broader and more comprehensive range of narrating regimental stories, and cracking regimental jokes, which he did with such prodigal exuberance, that Carker was (or feigned to be) quite exhausted with laughter and admiration: while Mr Dombey looked on over his starched cravat, like the Major’s proprietor, or like a stately showman who was glad to see his bear dancing well.

When the Major was too hoarse with meat and drink, and the display of his social powers, to render himself intelligible any longer, they adjourned to coffee. After which, the Major inquired of Mr Carker the Manager, with little apparent hope of an answer in the affirmative, if he played picquet.

‘Yes, I play picquet a little,’ said Mr Carker.

‘Backgammon, perhaps?’ observed the Major, hesitating.

‘Yes, I play backgammon a little too,’ replied the man of teeth.

‘Carker plays at all games, I believe,’ said Mr Dombey, laying himself on a sofa like a man of wood, without a hinge or a joint in him; ‘and plays them well.’

In sooth, he played the two in question, to such perfection, that the Major was astonished, and asked him, at random, if he played chess.