The Satyricon — Complete by Petronius Arbiter (little red riding hood read aloud txt) 📕

Hermes gave the first man knowledge; but it was enveloped in a mysterious veil which it was never permitted the profane to penetrate, which signifies that all that he learned from God, concerning amorous adventures, should be wrapped in profound silence. How beautiful all these allegories are! And how true! How insipid life would be without these mysterious liaisons, by which Nature carries out her designs, eluding the social ties, without breaking them! Disciples of Mercury, I salute you, whatever be your sex; to your discretion, to your persuasive arts are confided our dearest interests, the peace of mind of husbands, the happiness of lovers, the reputation of women, the legitimacy of children. Without you, this desolated earth would prove to be, in reality, a vale of tears; the young and beautiful wife united to decrepit husband, would languish and grow weak, like the lonely flower which the sun’s rays never touch. Thus did Mexence bind in thine indissoluble bands the living and the dead.

Fate, however, has often avenged the go-betweens on account of the misunderstandings from which they suffer at the hands of the vulgar. Otho opened the way to the empire of the world by his services as a go-between for Nero. And the go-betweens of princes, and even of princesses, are always found in the finest situations. Even Otho did not lose all his rights; Nero exiled him with a commission of honor, “because he was caught in adultery with his own wife, Poppaea.” “Uxoris moechus coeperate esse suae” (Suet. Otho, chap. 111), said malicious gossip at Rome.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

To the scholar contemplating an exhaustive study of Petronius, the masterly bibliography compiled by Gaselee is indispensable, and those of my readers who desire to pursue the subject are referred to it. The following is a list of editions, translations, criticisms and miscellaneous publications and authors from which I have derived benefit in the long and pleasant hours devoted to Petronius.

EDITIONS, Opera Omnia. --------- Lyons 1615. Hadrianides Amsterdam 1669. Bourdelot Paris 1677. Boschius Amsterdam    1677. Burmann Utrecht 1709. Anton Leipzig 1781. Buecheler Berlin 1862. Herxus(Buecheler)    Berlin 1911.

TRAU FRAGMENT. Amsterdam (Containing Frambotti’s corrections) 1670 Gaselee (Cambridge) 1915.

ETEXT EDITOR’S BOOKMARKS FOR THE ENTIRE “SATYRICON” Affairs start to go wrong, your friends will stand from under Believes, on the spot, every tale Boys play in the schools, the young men are laughed at Cardinals prejudiced in favor of Greek love Death is never far from those who seek him Death levels caste and sufferers unites Deferred pleasures are a long time coming Desire no possession unless the world envies me for possessing Doctor’s not good for anything except for a consolation Double capacity of masseurs and prostitutes Egyptians “commercialized” that incomparable art Either ‘take-in,’ or else they are ‘taken-in’ Empress Theodora belonged to this class Errors committed in the name of religion Esteeming nothing except what is rare Everybody’s business is nobody’s business Everything including the children, is devoted to ambition Face, rouged and covered with cosmetics Fierce morality, inimical to all the pleasures of life For one hour of nausea you promise it a plethora of good things Hardouin on homosexuality in priests He can teach you more than he knows himself High fortune may rather master us, than we master it In the arrogance of success, had put on the manner of the master Laughed ourselves out of a most disgraceful quarrel Learning’s a fine thing, and a trade won’t starve Legislation has never proved a success in repressing vice Live coals are more readily held in men’s mouths than a secret Love or art never yet made anyone rich Man is hated when he declares himself an enemy to all vice Men are lions at home and foxes abroad No one will confess the errors he was taught in his school days No one can show a dead man a good time One could do a man no graver injury than to call him a dancer Platitudes by which anguished minds are recalled to sanity Priests, animated by an hypocritical mania for prophecy Propensity of pouring one’s personal troubles into another’s ear Putting as good a face upon the matter as I could Religions responsible for the most abominable actions Remarkable resemblance to each other are the Bible and Homer Rumor but grows in the telling and strives to embellish Russia there is a sect called the skoptzi See or hear nothing at all of the affairs of every-day life She is chaste whom no man has solicited--Ovid Something in the way of hope at which to nibble Stained by the lifeblood of the God of Wine Stinking of St. Jerome Tax on bachelors The loser’s always the winner in arguments The teachers, who must gibber with lunatics They secure their ends, save by setting snares for the ears They seize what they dread to lose most To follow all paths; but a road can discover by none Too many doctors did away with him Wars were as much enterprises for ravishing women We know that you’re only a fool with a lot of learning Whatever we have, we despise Whatever you talk of at home will fly forth in an instant Whenever you learn a thing, it’s yours While we live, let us live You can spot a louse on someone else