Take Me Away by Kayla Trautman (free children's ebooks pdf .txt) 📕

Please tell me that you won't hurt yourself again. And mean it this time." A tear ran down my face and I closed my eyes, "Alright. But I'm not saying that I'll stop thinking that you getting hurt and Martin's death was my fault. Because it is."

Matt sighed and said, "I love you." I frowned and asked, "Why do you keep saying that? You know that I never say it back." Matt replied, "Because I'm hoping that one day you'll say it back to me."

My father asked, "Why don't you say it back? Don't you love them?" I looked at him and frowned. Then I looked up at the ceiling trying to ignore the pain. Matt looked up at dad and said, "I'm not sure but I have a feeling. She was the closest one to you. You were her world. Her romodel. The person that she looked up to. She loved you. When you left it broke her heart and she hasn't said it back to anyone since then. Not even to her mother. She's afraid of showing her feelings to someone again and then getting hurt again."

Matt went to say something but I interrupted him, "That's one of the reasons. But I don't think that mother or Matt would do that. But then again I didn't think that you would do it either. But another reason is because I don't want to tell someone that I love them and then leave them thinking that I lied. I didn't want to be like you so I didn't say it." My dad asked, "Do you think that I don't love you?" I looked at him, "Why would I think that you did? You left without a word until mother reported you missing. Even then you wrote and you didn't even mention anything about me. And you left on my birthday of all days. You never made any contact with us since then. So that tells me that you didn't love me. Or any of us. And you know the saying that says that your child's pain is the worst pain that a parent can endure? Well, I truely don't think that's true. At least not with you. I can see it in mother's eyes when I'm hurting myself or I get hurt. But never have you thought about how much you hurt me. When you left you want to know that I thought? I thought that there was something wrong with me. I thought that I did something that drove you away. That made you hate me like you do. And now, I still think about it. And I still think that it's true at times. Not like I used to but sometimes. Because I knew that mother didn't do anything wrong. She was good to you. Matt and Martin didn't do nothing wrong so I guessed that I did. Although now that I see you I see that you're just a cold-hearted bastard that cares nothing for anyone else's missery." My dad had tears in his eyes and he said, "You didn't drive me away. You were all great. I had made a mistake that is unexcusable. I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have been away so long. It was my bad mistakes. I didn't make any contact with you when I should have. And every second that I was away for the eight years it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I missed all of you so much." I humphed, "I find that very hard to believe. Mom can you please untie me. I'm not going to do any harm. I just need to sit up." My mom came over and untied my ankles. Then she untied my wrists. I sat up and brought my knees up to my chest. I just looked at the bed. I couldn't look at my father. My dad came over and went to hug me but I moved away, "Don't touch me." He stopped and nodded, "Okay." He went to leave the room but I said, "One more thing." He turned around. I looked at him and asked, "Why did you come back after all these years?" He answered, "Because I love you. And I needed to see all of you. Including your mother. Although I know that things can never be the same between us. I still love her." I rolled my eyes and looked away. He turned and left the room.

Matt asked, "Emily. Are you okay?" I didn't answer. I just sat there with my face burried in my arms on my knees. Matt asked, "Emily . . . " I said, "I'm fine." My mom came over to me and put her arms around me. I said, "Matt go back to your bed and lay down. Mom can you please go over with Matt or something? I want to be alone." My mom said, "Sure. You just call if you need me." I didn't answer. My mom helped Matt back over to his bed and sat with him. I layed down and cried silently. I didn't want them to hear me crying so I got up and went into the bathroom. As I went in there I could feel both of their gazes on me but I didn't look back. They would've saw my tears and I didn't want that. I just sat on the bathroom floor and just cried until I could cry no more. And I fell asleep on the floor.


Chapter 10

When I woke up I was in the hospital bed covered with the blanket. I looked around and I saw mother sitting with Matt. I got up and walked over to them. They looked at me and smiled. I asked, "How'd I get in bed?" My mom answered, "You fell asleep on the bathroom floor so your dad carried you over to the bed." I frowned, "Who Carl? He's not my father. Not anymore." Matt asked, "Are you alright?" I looked at him and sighed, "No. I'm not." My mom came over to me and rubbed my back, "Talk to us baby." I looked over at the window and then back at Matt, "I don't want him back in my life. My father left me when I was little. This is a new person that I don't know. I used to know him but he's changed. It's . . ." I stopped and swallowed my tears before they came out, "It hurts too much to let him back in my life." Matt said, "I know how you feel. And do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that? I've been waiting eight years to hear you say that. You would never admit that it was bothering you. Until now."

I went over to him and hugged him, "How were you able to handle it?" He answered, "I don't know. I just thought about you, mom, and Martin. I didn't want to break down when everyone else was. So I never did. And then after a while I just wasn't worried about it. I was worried about you." I started to say, "I . . . I" I stopped and sighed. Matt looked at me and asked, "What is it?" I looked up at him, "I haven't said this in years when I should have. I love you." A tear ran down his face and he hugged me, "I love you too. I'm so glad to hear you say that." I was crying, "I'm sorry that I haven't told you it before." Matt said, "It's okay. I understand why you didn't" I shook my head, "It's not okay. I didn't say it to any of you. And now i'll never be able to tell Martin." My mom came over to me and hugged me, "It's okay baby. He knows that you loved him." I hugged my mom and said, "Mom I love you." She smiled and said, "I love you too."

At that moment my father came in and asked, "Can I talk to you Emily?" I turned to him and then looked at mom. She said, "It's your choice. If you want to talk to him go ahead." I sighed and looked at him. I nodded, "Sure." I went over to him and he led me out of the room. We were standing right outside my room because of my I.V. I had to roll that pole around with me. I looked up at him and waited for him to say something.

My father sighed and said, "I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I really am. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I want to be the father that I should have been. I have no excuse for what I did so I'm not going to try to give you a bunch of reasons that aren't going to make a difference. I missed half of your life because of what I did. But I want to make it up to you." I said, "How can you make it up to me? You can't give me back eight years of my life and then just be there. If that was possible I'd have Martin back." He said, "I know that. But I want to be in your life now." I said, "You want to be in my life now? Why not then? Why didn't you want to be there then? I . . ." I couldn't hold it in any more. I started to cry. My father brought me closer to him and held me, "I know. I am so sorry. I really am. I will never forgive myself for hurting you like I did." I cried, "I hate you. I hate you because I love you and you hurt me." My father rubbed my back, "I know. And it's okay. Please give me another chance? I will do anything to be back in your life." I didn't know what to do. I didn't want him back in my life because I didn't want to face the pain. And I was afraid of him getting close and then taking off again. And hurting me again. But then I wanted him back. I wanted my father.

I said, "I want my father. But how do I know that you won't leave me again?" He pulled back and gently put his hands on my face, "I'm not going anywhere baby. I love you." I said, "I love you too." He put his arm around me and we walked back into the room, "Come on. Let's go back inside."

When we walked back inside Mother and Matt looked at us. I went over to them and said, "I . . . I've decided to give him another chance." I wipped my tears away from my face and went over to my bed. I layed down and just layed there.


Chapter 11

We all went home the next day. Matt layed in bed and Mom sat with him. I would sit with him later. Father was in there with him too.

I sat on the couch and thought about things. I thought about father being back in our lives. There was a knock on the door so I got up to answer it.

When I opened the door I couldn't believe my eyes. It was Chris. I stepped outside leaving the inside door open so anyone would hear me if anything happend.

He said, "Hi." I asked, "What the fuck do you want?" He folded his arms, "Is that any way to talk to after everything that I did for you?" I humphed, "Did for me? Really Chris? You didn't do anything good for me. You beat me up when I refused to go out with you. And then when my brother