Battle Strong by Elizabeth McCready (have you read this book TXT) 📕

It was the way for them to escape the stress that was present even for young ones in Delahonte. Any children that weren't sent to camp were forced to partake in some sort of labor for the country. This was the Quill's effort of making every citizen a functioning member of society.

The stables were lonely, empty, and too quiet. But Beth loved it, she shoved the large white sliding doors aside with the weight of her body not bothering to shut them knowing there were no animals inside to escape. She took in the details of the large, beautiful stables. The wooden pillars that lined the stalls were dark and aged, the silver floors filled with tiny indents and a coarse look. The air in the stable smelled of straw and wood, one of Beth's favorite and most relaxing scents. She traced a finger along each of the stalls hoping to find one that, if she had to choose, would be her place of comfort in this scary place. She wandered through the barn, numb, until finally finding the one. In the far corner of the barn, next to the stall she had spoken with Ander, was a stall slightly larger than the rest, with the right amount of light rushing in for Beth. She slowly unlatched the lock and pulled the heavy door sideways, stepping into a new place for her to find herself again. Beth retreated into the farthest corner of the stall and sat on the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest, tears forming in her eyes as the sound of Chaess's blood-curdling scream echoed in her mind. Beth rested her head in her arms, sobbing in a way that she would only sob if she knew no one else would see. Blood. Knife. Blood. Chaess. So. Much. Blood. The images flashed in her mind, making her unable to breathe.

"Beth?" She heard Ander calling from outside the stables. "Donoway?"

"I'm here." She managed to breathe through her tears, Ander ran to the door putting a hand on the pillar to stop his motion.

"Beth," He said with a sigh and wiped a hand across his brows. "Beth, what happened?

"I couldn't save him, I didn't see it coming."

"Hey, stop, this isn't your fault." He whispered softly stepping closer and kneeling down in front of her. "Look at me. Look at me." She lifted her eyes to his, their faces just inches apart. He moved a lock of hair from her eyes, and placed a hand on the side of her face wiping a tear from her cheek. "That was not your fault, none of this is your fault."

"But, Ander, I could've helped him."

"You did help him, you stopped his bleeding, and you stitched him up so well that the healer asked who was on staff at the hut. He thought you were a healer, Beth. You did well. He opened him back up to make sure that no organs were damaged, he’s going to be okay. You did save him, Beth."

"That's not what I mean, I could've seen the soldier. I could've killed him before he could hurt Chaess. We were unstoppable out there, no one even got close to taking us down. But, I don't know if we got too cocky or if I was stupid-"

"Beth."

"What I'm saying is, we let our guard down and now Chaess- he's hurt and there's no saying whether he will be able to go back into battle, and if he does there’s no way that it’ll be any time soon." She croaked through her tears.

"We will deal with that subject if it comes, but Beth there was nothing more you could've done."

"That's not true! I could've killed that son of a bitch! I could've- I could've-"

"Died." Ander cut in. "He could've killed you, Beth." Silence filled the barn, Beth looked Ander in the eye to find him returning her gaze. "If he would've killed you," he paused, "I would never forgive myself for letting you out of my sight." Ander stood and walked to the door of the stall. "We need you, Donaway, don't let us-" he turned his eyes back to her. "Don't let me down."

~*~

  Beth could hardly sleep that night, between Chaess' pending recovery and Ander's way of admitting he needed her. Her mind was spinning, she had thought about going to the lake but feared she would find Ander, she also thought about the stables, but there too was the possibility of seeing Ander. For once in her life, Beth wanted to have a moment to think. So instead, she simply stared at the ceiling from her bunk. She wasn't sure how long it would take her to sleep. Or if she would ever sleep again, but part of her didn't care. She was getting tired of all the stress, and all of the fear that had come about lately.

Beth sat there for hours before she finally climbed out of her bunk. She figured that seeing Ander was something she could handle if it meant clearing her head. Though morning light was just hours away, she decided to trek to the lake. Before setting out on her adventure, Beth decided to find a rope, which was conveniently hanging on the wall of the small shed next to the commons building. She slung the rope over her shoulder and a belt of knives around her waist, and took off into the night.

Once Beth had neared the lake, she searched the darkness for a tree branch close enough to the water, and strong enough to maintain body weight for a rope swing. She searched the perimeter of the lake, gradually inclining until the shoreline was a cliff, finally finding the perfect branch just a few feet from the cliff's edge. The tree's trunk was too big for her arms to wrap around, and slightly hung out over the lake. She gathered her body, and used her knives as grips for her hands to climb the tree, relying on the grooves in the bark to hold her feet. Once she climbed high enough to reach the branch, she swung her body, hoisting herself to sit on its surface. She tied a loop in the rope and used it as a weapon against the knives still lodged in the tree, once she had managed to dislodge the knives and memorize the spots they had landed in the dirt, she tied the rope around the branch and, like the trunk of the ginormous tree, her arms couldn't wrap around the branch completely. She struggled for a few minutes, but finally managed to tie the rope well enough to be used. She looked below her, and dropped the rope to see how far off the ground it would fall, luckily the rope fell just short of two feet off the ground, perfect for her to launch herself into the water. She smiled at her creation and leaned her body enough to reach the rope, and observed the drop between the ground and the water. She estimated that the drop would be about twenty feet, but she wasn't sure. She was never good at judging distances. All she was sure of was that the drop wouldn't kill her. She stood on the surface of the branch with a tight grip on the rope, looking to the ground that was far beneath her, and jumped.

When the rope yanked her body back skyward, she let out a small yelp. Although the rope had saved her from hitting the ground at full force, she still had the wind knocked out of her from the impact. The pressure in her chest made her almost want to give up on the rope for the night, but in her stubbornness had decided to power through. Her determination was both an advantage and a hindrance at times. Looking out over the water, Beth decided that she had made the right choice, and collected her breath to jump. 

 ~*~

He swallowed a laugh as Beth sat up from her landing spot on the ground and fished for air as if she hadn't had a single breath in years. She rubbed on her forehead and mumbled loud enough for him to hear her helpless and sulking murmurs. His opinion of her had always been that she was a little too adventurous for her own good, she had frequently gotten herself into similar situations as a child, but that was partially why he loved her.

He observed from a distance as she managed to stumble to her feet, a bit of clumsiness to her movement. He thought it was as if she didn't care, or maybe as if she didn't know to care. He watched as Beth surveyed the lake, trying to figure out what she was thinking of. The one thing the two of them had, the one thing that could set them free was the gaping body of water in front of that beautiful blonde girl. Ander could only think of a single flaw that girl possessed. Her. After what she had done to him, it would take an army to rekindle the trust between the two. It almost took away the guilt of leaving her behind. And yet, there he was. Captivated by the natural beauty of that girl he once loved, watching her from afar, and making like the strangers they had now become. After he left, Ander was confused not to receive any word from her. In the first weeks, he’d sent five letters explaining where he had gone and how he hadn’t a say in the matter. That it was the King’s doing. He remembered clearly on the 26th day since he has left, he received a letter from her. A terrible, unforgiving letter outlining her deep secrets of betrayal and love for another. In so few words, she broke him. He was always so confused by her words, because while she had always been malicious, she had never once been like that to him. Between the two of them, there was a soft and gentle whisper of affection, nothing of violence. For him to receive that letter was a complete surprise. The two of them were so good, it never made sense to him. But, it happened, and though he tried to move on, his heart never strayed from the beautiful blonde overlooking the lake before him.

He noticed that she had wrapped her hands once again around the dangling rope as she ventured further away from the cliff's edge. There had to be at least thirty feet of drop from the edge of the cliff. He watched intently as Beth scaled yet another tree, wondering if she hadn't already learned her lesson the first time, and walked out on a branch until the rope was tight. She tied the end of the rope in a knot, placing it under her foot and gripping the rope above it.

She jumped, and Ander could hardly control himself from yelling and running after the girl who apparently had a death wish.

*~*

Beth resurfaced in the water, her smile wide, and laugh as joyful as it had ever been. She had felt so free flying over the cliff and into the deep waters of the lake. It had been as though she were a weightless bird traveling overseas to find a new place to call home. But, her flight had been cut short by a loud splash and a rush of warm water engulfing her body.

"Are you out of your mind or do you just figure you might die soon anyway?" She heard him call from over the cliff, her face immediately burning, her body going numb with adrenaline and nerves, but also that feeling from the battle, that strange unidentifiable rush inside of her.

"As if! I'm no coward." She called back over, hoping he wouldn't hear her timid and nerve-stricken voice. "At least I have a sense of adventure! Where's yours, Captain?"

"Don't push it, Donoway, I've got adventure running in my veins!"

"Well, are you waiting