Reflections by Linda Dyanne Bolden (e books for reading .TXT) 📕
Excerpt from the book:
Tiara generates in Reflections, traumatic life experiences occurring throughout her adult life and childhood, leading her down a dark path of abuse, pain, and shame, as well as capturing the fun & happy memories of her past. In Little Girls's she escapes in her fantasies and writings, by unraveling her dismay
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- Author: Linda Dyanne Bolden
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she refused to give him money, she gave in that one time and he got what he wanted. Anything would offset an argument with him and when she refuses to argue with him and remain silent he would treat her like the agreement never happen. He was pretty much short tempered and saw that she had cared deeply about him. However silence was her ambition against him, although sometimes it didn’t work, he would verbally disrespect her more. Calling her stupid or silly, often he would call women stupid bitches, fat asses, all of those demeaning words. She had become feed up with his despicable behavior. Several people at work had told her that something was up with him, even Candice said that he was bad news and neither one of them liked the other, in fact Candice had said that Charles and her an argument before Tia had stared dating him, she just didn’t want to hear it or even believe it, blind by love.
His loathsome behavior had caused her to question herself, she was defending him to her friends, reminding them that he’s her man and he was nice underneath the temperament. Some of them insinuated that he may be gay. Now that was something to take in consideration. However she was slowly losing interest, becoming more depressed and dropping weight, nonetheless things didn’t get any better, much worst.
One day after work Charles and her were arguing about one of her friends. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself so she became quiet, trying to speed up ahead of him. They were on their way to his apartment when she steps out into the street. A car droved pass her and he grabbed her arm tightly, saying that she had almost gotten hit by the car. She was staring off in space, but she was positive about her seeing the car pass her. According to her knowledge of the whole incident the car was never that close to her, but he refuse to accept her stance, he started yelling at her calling her a stupid ass woman. She tried to ignore him but she couldn’t let it go. She told him that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and he was overreacting about something that never occurred. They went back and forward all the way into his apartment. He continue to nod his head and mumble under his breathe “we will see we will see.”
Before she could get her coat off, he haul off and slapped her so hard she landed on the floor. She will never forget this slap because she actually saw stars, and the sting had settled underneath her skin like an unforeseen print that will last a lifetime. She fought back her tears, hesitating to make any attempt to move from the floor. He walked away from her and went into the bathroom.
He had a studio apartment, so the walk was not far. As you walk into the apartment the kitchen area was in the entrance way. His living room area had a sofa, placed directly in front of the window, he had a small dining table with two chairs, alongside the sofa was two end tables on each side of it with lamps on top, sitting in front the sofa was his cocktail table. His bed was a built-in; it was placed against the wall where you could pull it out when you wanted to use it. He had worn out carpet on the floor. The bathroom was small with a toilet, sink and tub. The kitchen was small and narrow, a sink, stove and a little counter space occupied that area. Very little cabinetry, he had one closet in the whole entire studio.
After she notices that he was going into the bathroom, she immediately jumps to her feet, making her way to the bed. He was talking to her as if she was a child, but she tune him out trying to contemplate her next move, before she knew it she was dialing her home number and talking to her brother over the phone, giving him the location where she was and to come get her right away. He briefly heard her conversation on the phone and became angry as he approached her.
The Devil is a Lie continues Part 1
"I should bust your mother fucking head,” Charles was yelling in her ear as he approached her. He started pacing back and forth unable to control his temper or contain himself. The door buzzer rings, and it actually jolted her, from its loudness, apparently she had never heard it sound so loud before. She was also surprised about how quickly her brother had made it to her rescue. Charles did not move either did she, but she quickly stated to him and said "you better buzz him in; he will not leave here without me". It was seconds that passed, when her brother and his friend walked through the door. Her brother asked” is everything all right?” and she replied “yes I just want to go home”
She felt relieved as all three of them walked out of his apartment together with her coat across her arm. She eventually told her brother what had happen, which of course he wanted to retaliate, but she told him to let it go, although her brother indicated to her, she could have his gun for protection anytime she wanted it.
Several weeks had passed before she finally accepted Charles’s call. He apologized as usual and pleaded for her to forgive him, promising never to hit her again. The typical story along with I love you baby. She took him back, now was she still blind by love or blind by the fist?
Well to her surprised they did make it through a month without the arguments and fights. Now was she expecting him to change overnight? Perhaps, although everyone knows people just don’t change because you want them too, they have to want to change.
Even though she found out soon enough, they ended up arguing again about something she said she did not do and he said that she was lying about it. The argument became so heated and intense that it escalated to the point of him dragging her by her feet off his bed onto the floor. She was screaming from the top of her lungs “I don’t have to lie to you about shit Charles; you’re not my damn mom” “I’m your man you'll listen to whatever I tell you” he shouts back at her. With all of his might he lifted his right foot up and kick her several times in her left side, she slumps over slightly to ease the blows and grabbing at his foot to stop his constant kicking. She wasn't fast enough for him; however, he did stop dead in his tracks and pointed at her with his finger “you’re lucky I didn't bust your mother fucking head.” He walked away from her leaving her in the middle of the floor moaning in pain.
Moments later she moved off the floor and went to lie down on the sofa. He had made his way into the bathroom to shower and shave. This time around, he made sure he took the telephone inside of the bathroom with him.
At this point she was in too much pain to walk out of the door and never come back. She laid there in tears holding her side. He was still quiet after he came out and she only spoke to let him know that she needed to take a hot bath to soak her aching body. She gathered up her towels, gown, and her socks because she always slept in socks, her feet easily get cold and she quickly rushed into the bathroom to wait for the water to fill up completely. As she gets the water to her desired temperature she immediately steps in, inhaling and exhaling, she closed her eyes.
Charles is snoring, as she eased into the room all of the lights are out, except for one she left on in the bathroom. She moved slowly across the room to make it to the big closet located on the opposite wall of the kitchen area. She quickly reached for her purse, trying to subdue the pain in her left side, which was bruised badly. She frantically looked inside of it hoping she had the gun there. Excited she had it with her, she carefully walked over to the bed where Charles was sleeping soundly, and she pointed the gun directly to the back of his head, his face is facing the wall, closer to the side that he laid on. She fired once, as the sound of the bullet penetrated her ear, and then she fired the second shot, which became a droning sound in her eardrum.
His blood was everywhere, it stained the sheets, it was covered all over her gown and arms, and it spattered all over the walls.
She was never fully conscious of what she was doing, but she sigh… and released the gun from her grip, as it landed on the floor, she spins around on her feet completely, with her hands high above her head, moving her hands in a waving motion and like a chant “now whose head is busted… now whose head is busted… mother fucker!!” She’s laughing hysterically.
The devil is a lie continues part 2
She became sick at her stomach from the sight of the blood on her clothing. She curled up in a fetus-like position on the sofa, trying hard to block out the shooting. Her moans became intense and her breathing was heavy. She called out for her mommy as her mind slipped back to her past when the blood was all over her pajamas and running out of her month and nose. Her moans had taper off to sobs, as she reached out for her mother to embrace her in her arms, instead she was jolted by a sound, and she couldn’t concentrate, unable to open her tear-stained eyes.
It was a very loud pounding sound, followed by a huge hard thrust from the door; however she was unable to move from her position. She barely could hear the voices, uncertain to what they were saying, it sounds were like a whisper to her “this is the police” she manage to hear a man voice say. “Young lady are you okay? A lady voice said standing very close to her. She struggled to open her eyes to put together the face with the voice. The strange voice was a police woman gazing over her. The male officer was checking out the lifeless body on the bed. Her entire body was shaking endlessly, her stomach was nauseated from the scene in the room, and the tears couldn’t stop flowing weighty from her eyes. She said in a light murmur repeatedly “I did it… I did it.” The male office voice carried profoundly over the room “he is dead” she blocked out his remarks from her mind, quickly placing her head in her hands; the female office spoke and said “Ms. Do you understand me the neighbors reported gun shots in here and a loud argument between a man and a women!” “You understand?” she asked for conformation this time. She nodded that she understood her. “Is the man in the bed your husband or your boyfriend?” She asked with authority. She opened her mouth to respond but nothing would come out. She just nodded her head up and down.
The officer appeared to be sympathetic towards her, as she touch her shoulders and told her that she needed her to tell her where her shoes and
His loathsome behavior had caused her to question herself, she was defending him to her friends, reminding them that he’s her man and he was nice underneath the temperament. Some of them insinuated that he may be gay. Now that was something to take in consideration. However she was slowly losing interest, becoming more depressed and dropping weight, nonetheless things didn’t get any better, much worst.
One day after work Charles and her were arguing about one of her friends. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself so she became quiet, trying to speed up ahead of him. They were on their way to his apartment when she steps out into the street. A car droved pass her and he grabbed her arm tightly, saying that she had almost gotten hit by the car. She was staring off in space, but she was positive about her seeing the car pass her. According to her knowledge of the whole incident the car was never that close to her, but he refuse to accept her stance, he started yelling at her calling her a stupid ass woman. She tried to ignore him but she couldn’t let it go. She told him that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and he was overreacting about something that never occurred. They went back and forward all the way into his apartment. He continue to nod his head and mumble under his breathe “we will see we will see.”
Before she could get her coat off, he haul off and slapped her so hard she landed on the floor. She will never forget this slap because she actually saw stars, and the sting had settled underneath her skin like an unforeseen print that will last a lifetime. She fought back her tears, hesitating to make any attempt to move from the floor. He walked away from her and went into the bathroom.
He had a studio apartment, so the walk was not far. As you walk into the apartment the kitchen area was in the entrance way. His living room area had a sofa, placed directly in front of the window, he had a small dining table with two chairs, alongside the sofa was two end tables on each side of it with lamps on top, sitting in front the sofa was his cocktail table. His bed was a built-in; it was placed against the wall where you could pull it out when you wanted to use it. He had worn out carpet on the floor. The bathroom was small with a toilet, sink and tub. The kitchen was small and narrow, a sink, stove and a little counter space occupied that area. Very little cabinetry, he had one closet in the whole entire studio.
After she notices that he was going into the bathroom, she immediately jumps to her feet, making her way to the bed. He was talking to her as if she was a child, but she tune him out trying to contemplate her next move, before she knew it she was dialing her home number and talking to her brother over the phone, giving him the location where she was and to come get her right away. He briefly heard her conversation on the phone and became angry as he approached her.
The Devil is a Lie continues Part 1
"I should bust your mother fucking head,” Charles was yelling in her ear as he approached her. He started pacing back and forth unable to control his temper or contain himself. The door buzzer rings, and it actually jolted her, from its loudness, apparently she had never heard it sound so loud before. She was also surprised about how quickly her brother had made it to her rescue. Charles did not move either did she, but she quickly stated to him and said "you better buzz him in; he will not leave here without me". It was seconds that passed, when her brother and his friend walked through the door. Her brother asked” is everything all right?” and she replied “yes I just want to go home”
She felt relieved as all three of them walked out of his apartment together with her coat across her arm. She eventually told her brother what had happen, which of course he wanted to retaliate, but she told him to let it go, although her brother indicated to her, she could have his gun for protection anytime she wanted it.
Several weeks had passed before she finally accepted Charles’s call. He apologized as usual and pleaded for her to forgive him, promising never to hit her again. The typical story along with I love you baby. She took him back, now was she still blind by love or blind by the fist?
Well to her surprised they did make it through a month without the arguments and fights. Now was she expecting him to change overnight? Perhaps, although everyone knows people just don’t change because you want them too, they have to want to change.
Even though she found out soon enough, they ended up arguing again about something she said she did not do and he said that she was lying about it. The argument became so heated and intense that it escalated to the point of him dragging her by her feet off his bed onto the floor. She was screaming from the top of her lungs “I don’t have to lie to you about shit Charles; you’re not my damn mom” “I’m your man you'll listen to whatever I tell you” he shouts back at her. With all of his might he lifted his right foot up and kick her several times in her left side, she slumps over slightly to ease the blows and grabbing at his foot to stop his constant kicking. She wasn't fast enough for him; however, he did stop dead in his tracks and pointed at her with his finger “you’re lucky I didn't bust your mother fucking head.” He walked away from her leaving her in the middle of the floor moaning in pain.
Moments later she moved off the floor and went to lie down on the sofa. He had made his way into the bathroom to shower and shave. This time around, he made sure he took the telephone inside of the bathroom with him.
At this point she was in too much pain to walk out of the door and never come back. She laid there in tears holding her side. He was still quiet after he came out and she only spoke to let him know that she needed to take a hot bath to soak her aching body. She gathered up her towels, gown, and her socks because she always slept in socks, her feet easily get cold and she quickly rushed into the bathroom to wait for the water to fill up completely. As she gets the water to her desired temperature she immediately steps in, inhaling and exhaling, she closed her eyes.
Charles is snoring, as she eased into the room all of the lights are out, except for one she left on in the bathroom. She moved slowly across the room to make it to the big closet located on the opposite wall of the kitchen area. She quickly reached for her purse, trying to subdue the pain in her left side, which was bruised badly. She frantically looked inside of it hoping she had the gun there. Excited she had it with her, she carefully walked over to the bed where Charles was sleeping soundly, and she pointed the gun directly to the back of his head, his face is facing the wall, closer to the side that he laid on. She fired once, as the sound of the bullet penetrated her ear, and then she fired the second shot, which became a droning sound in her eardrum.
His blood was everywhere, it stained the sheets, it was covered all over her gown and arms, and it spattered all over the walls.
She was never fully conscious of what she was doing, but she sigh… and released the gun from her grip, as it landed on the floor, she spins around on her feet completely, with her hands high above her head, moving her hands in a waving motion and like a chant “now whose head is busted… now whose head is busted… mother fucker!!” She’s laughing hysterically.
The devil is a lie continues part 2
She became sick at her stomach from the sight of the blood on her clothing. She curled up in a fetus-like position on the sofa, trying hard to block out the shooting. Her moans became intense and her breathing was heavy. She called out for her mommy as her mind slipped back to her past when the blood was all over her pajamas and running out of her month and nose. Her moans had taper off to sobs, as she reached out for her mother to embrace her in her arms, instead she was jolted by a sound, and she couldn’t concentrate, unable to open her tear-stained eyes.
It was a very loud pounding sound, followed by a huge hard thrust from the door; however she was unable to move from her position. She barely could hear the voices, uncertain to what they were saying, it sounds were like a whisper to her “this is the police” she manage to hear a man voice say. “Young lady are you okay? A lady voice said standing very close to her. She struggled to open her eyes to put together the face with the voice. The strange voice was a police woman gazing over her. The male officer was checking out the lifeless body on the bed. Her entire body was shaking endlessly, her stomach was nauseated from the scene in the room, and the tears couldn’t stop flowing weighty from her eyes. She said in a light murmur repeatedly “I did it… I did it.” The male office voice carried profoundly over the room “he is dead” she blocked out his remarks from her mind, quickly placing her head in her hands; the female office spoke and said “Ms. Do you understand me the neighbors reported gun shots in here and a loud argument between a man and a women!” “You understand?” she asked for conformation this time. She nodded that she understood her. “Is the man in the bed your husband or your boyfriend?” She asked with authority. She opened her mouth to respond but nothing would come out. She just nodded her head up and down.
The officer appeared to be sympathetic towards her, as she touch her shoulders and told her that she needed her to tell her where her shoes and
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