Post Haste by Robert Michael Ballantyne (free reads .txt) 📕

something to spare. He enjoyed the privilege of wearing a grey uniform, of sitting in a comfortable room with a huge fire in the basement of the office, and of walking over a portion of London as the bearer of urgent and no doubt all-important news. He also enjoyed a salary of seven shillings sterling a week, and was further buoyed up with the hope of an increase to eight shillings at the end of a year. His duties, as a rule, began at eight each morning, and averaged nine hours.

We have said that out of his vast income he had something to spare. This, of course, was not much, but owing to the very moderate charge for lodging made by Solomon Flint--with whom and his sister he took up his abode--the sum was sufficient to enable him, after a few months, to send home part of his first year's earnings to his mother. He did this by means of that most valuable institution of modern days a Post-Office order, which enables one to send small sums of money, at a moderate charge, and with perfect security, not only all over the kingdom, but over the greater part of the known world.

It would have been interesting, had it been possible, to have entered into Phil's feelings on the occasion of his transacting this first piece of financial business. Being a country-bred boy, he was as bashful about it as if he had been only ten years old. He doubted, first, whether the clerk would believe him in earnest when he should demand the order. Then, when he received the form to fill up, he had considerable hesitation lest he should fill in the blanks erroneously, and when the clerk scanned the slip and frowned, he felt convinced that he had done so.

"You've put only Mrs Maylands," said the clerk.

"_Only_ Mrs Maylands!" thought Phil; "does the man want me to add `widow of the Reverend James Maylands, and mother of all the little Maylands?'" but he only said, "Sure, sir, it's to her I want to send the money."

"Put down her Christian name;" said the clerk; "order can't be drawn without it."

Phil put down the required name, handed over the money, received back the change, inserted the order into a previously prepared letter, posted the same, and walked away from that office as tall as his friend George Aspel--if not taller--in sensation.

Let us now follow our hero to the boy-messengers' room in the basement of St. Martin's-le-Grand.

Entering one morning after the delivery of a telegram which had cost him a pretty long walk, Phil proceeded to the boys' hall, and took his seat at the end of the row of boys who were awaiting their turn to be called for mercurial duty. Observing a very small telegraph-boy in a scullery off the hall, engaged in some mysterious operations with a large saucepan, from which volumes of steam proceeded, he went towards him. By that time Phil had become pretty well acquainted with the faces of his comrades, but this boy he had not previously met with. The lad was stooping over a sink, and carefully holding in the contents of the pan with its lid, while he strained off the boiling water.

"Sure I've not seen _you_ before?" remarked Phil.

The boy turned up a sharp-featured, but handsome and remarkably intelligent face, and, with a quick glance at Phil, said, "Well, now, any man might know you for an Irishman by your impudence, even if you hadn't the brogue."

"Why, what do you mean?" asked Phil, with an amused smile.

"Mean!" echoed the boy, with the most refined extract of insolence on his pretty little face; "I mean that small though I am, surely I'm big enough to be _seen_."

"Well," returned Phil, with a laugh, "you know what I mean--that I haven't seen you before to-day."

"Then w'y don't you say what you mean? How d'you suppose a man can understand you unless you speak in plain terms? You won't do for the GPO if you can't speak the Queen's English. We want sharp fellows here, we do. So you'd better go back to Owld Ireland, avic cushla mavourneen--there, put that in your pipe and smoke it."

Whether it was the distraction of the boy's mind, or the potent working of his impertinence, we know not, but certain it is that his left hand slipped somehow, and a round ball, with a delicious smell, fell out of the pot. The boy half caught it, and wildly yet cleverly balanced it on the lid, but it would have rolled next moment into the sink, if Phil had not made a dart forward, caught it like a football, and bowled it back into the pot.

"Well done! splendidly done!" cried the boy, setting down his pot. "Arrah! Pat," he added, mocking Phil's brogue, and holding out his hand, "you're a man after my own heart; give me your flipper, and let us swear eternal friendship over this precious goblet."

Of course Phil cheerfully complied, and the friendship thus auspiciously begun afterwards became strong and lasting. So it is all through the course of life. At every turn we are liable to meet with those who shall thenceforth exercise a powerful influence on our characters, lives, and affections, and on whom our influence shall be strong for good or evil.

"What's your name?" asked Phil; "mine is Philip Maylands."

"Mine's Peter Pax," answered the small boy, returning to his goblet; "but I've no end of _aliases_--such as Mouse, Monkey, Spider, Snipe, Imp, and Little 'un. Call me what you please, it's all one to me, so as you don't call me too late for dinner."

"And what have you got there, Pax?" asked Phil, referring to the pot.

"A plum-pudding."

"Do two or three of you share it?"

"Certainly not," replied the boy.

"What! you don't mean to say you can eat it all yourself for dinner?"

"The extent of my ability in the disposal of wittles," answered Pax, "I have never fairly tested. I think I could eat this at one meal, though I ain't sure, but it's meant to serve me all day. You see I find a good, solid, well-made plum-pudding, with not too much suet, and a moderate allowance of currants and raisins, an admirable squencher of appetite. It's portable too, and keeps well. Besides, if I can't get through with it at supper, it fries up next mornin' splendidly.--Come, I'll let you taste a bit, an' that's a favour w'ich I wouldn't grant to every one."

"No, thank 'ee, Pax. I'm already loaded and primed for the forenoon, but I'll sit by you while you eat, and chat."

"You're welcome," returned Pax, "only don't be cheeky, Philip, as I can't meet you on an equal footing w'en I'm at grub."

"I'll be careful, Pax; but don't call me Philip--call me Phil."

"I will, Phil; come along, Phil; `Come fill up my cup, come fill up my can'--that sort o' thing you understand, Phil, me darlint?"

There was such a superhuman amount of knowing presumption in the look and air of Pax, as he poked Phil in the ribs and winked, that the latter burst into laughter, in which however he was not joined by his companion, who with the goblet in one hand and the other thrust into his pocket, stood regarding his new friend with a pitiful expression till he recovered, and then led him off to a confabulation which deepened their mutual esteem.

That same evening a gentleman called at the Post-Office, desiring to see Philip Maylands. It turned out to be George Aspel.

"Why, George, what brings you here?" said Phil in surprise.

"I chanced to be in the neighbourhood," answered Aspel, "and came to ask the address of that little creature who posted my letter the other night. I want to see her. She does not go to your cousin's, I know, till morning, and I must see her to-night, to make sure that she _did_ post the letter, for, d'you know, I've had no reply from Sir James, and I can't rest until I ascertain whether my letter was posted. Can you tell me where she lives, Phil?"

At that moment Phil was summoned for duty. Giving his friend the address hastily, he left him.

George Aspel passed the front of the General Post-Office on his way to visit Tottie Bones, and, observing a considerable bustle going on there, he stopped to gaze, for George had an inquiring mind. Being fresh from the country, his progress through the streets of London, as may be well understood, was slow. It was also harassing to himself and the public, for when not actually standing entranced in front of shop-windows his irresistible tendency to look in while walking resulted in many collisions and numerous apologies. At the General Post-Office he avoided the stream of human beings by getting under the lee of one of the pillars of the colonnade, whence he could look on undisturbed.

Up to six o'clock letters are received in the letter-box at St. Martin's-le-Grand for the mails which leave London at eight each evening. The place for receiving book-parcels and newspapers, however, closes half-an-hour sooner. Before five a brass slit in the wall suffices for the public, but within a few minutes of the half-hour the steady run of men and boys towards it is so great that the slit becomes inadequate. A trap-door is therefore opened in the pavement, and a yawning abyss displayed which communicates by an inclined plane with the newspaper regions below. Into this abyss everything is hurled.

When Aspel took up his position people were hurrying towards the hole, some with single book-parcels, or a few newspapers, others with armfuls, and many with sackfuls. In a few minutes the rapid walk became a run. Men, boys, and girls sprang up the steps--occasionally tumbled up,-- jostled each other in their eager haste, and tossed, dropped, hurled, or poured their contributions into the receptacle, which was at last fed so hastily that it choked once or twice, and a policeman, assisted by an official, stuffed the literary matter down its throat--with difficulty, however, owing to the ever-increasing stream of contributors to the feast. The trap-door, when open, formed a barrier to the hole, which prevented the too eager public from being posted headlong with their papers. One youth staggered up the steps under a sack so large that he could scarcely lift it over the edge of the barrier without the policeman's aid. Him Aspel questioned, as he was leaving with the empty sack, and found that he was the porter of one of the large publishing firms of the city.

Others he found came from advertising agents with sacks of circulars, etcetera.

Soon the minutes were reduced to seconds, and the work became proportionally fast and furious; sacks, baskets, hampers, trays of material were emptied violently into that insatiable maw, and in some cases the sacks went in along with their contents. But owners' names being on these, they were recoverable elsewhere.

Suddenly, yet slowly, the opening closed. The monster was satisfied for that time; it would not swallow another morsel, and one or two unfortunates who came late with large bags of newspapers and circulars had to resort to the comparatively slow process of cramming their contents through the narrow slit above, with the comforting certainty that they had