Longing For December by Shelia Burket (reading diary TXT) 📕

brushes.
She hears the door open, the bells at the top jingled and a gush of cold air followed. “Hello?” anyone back there?” “In a minute”, she brushes the hair from her face. Her auburn hair tossled on top of her head, pieces falling down. “I must look a mess”, she thinks to herself. A familiar voice, unmistakingly familiar. “Excuse me miss” he said politely. That voice, “Oh my gosh!” she gasps. Standing before her for the first time in twenty years, it was Blake Daniels, her heart sank. All of a sudden she was back in school she was back in high school, fumbling to find the right words, as the lump in her throat grew larger. “Savanna?” his words rang through the air. “Savanna is that you?” No answer… she was stunned…shocked and somewhat embarrassed. “Oh my gosh, don’t look at me!” her face was red she hid behind her paint covered hands. “What are you doing here?” she shrieked. “Is this your shop?” he questioned her as he looked around. “All mine”, she proudly smiled. “Well I rent it, but I may be able to buy it next fall.
” Blake Daniels… handsome as ever, his hair still black as coal. His blue eyes pierced straight through her heart and soul. “Time had been kind,” she thought. A mixture of feelings ran through every part of her. She paused and thought of Ryan. A part of her would always love him… but a part of her heart, years before Ryan there was Blake. What had started out a summer romance, some might say “puppy love, turned out to be bigger than the both of them. She fell fast and hard like most young girls do… he was older… she could barely breathe when he was anywhere near her, but she was drawn to him… every part of her wanted him… needed him… once again he made her want him…Did he feel the same? Did he think the years had been kind to her? “You are still as beautiful as the day I met you.” Then she knew… it was time… time to let herself love again. Her mind was racing trying to keep up with her heart. She was afraid. She had only been with Ryan after Blake and no one since…no one.
She had taken care of kids, work, friends and her parents plus every stray animal on the planet… but not taken care of herself. It was time, her time. “What if he’s married?” “Oh that would be just terrific!” “Just my luck!” she frowned to herself. A million thoughts flooded her mind, all in a matter of seconds. She looked at him slightly puzzled, “What did you say?” “Are you alright?” he asked. “HUH?” Savanna, are you o.k.?” He touched her shoulder with a concerned look. “Oh, I’m sorry Blake,” she said with a red face. “I’m just so surprised to see you here.” “Why are you here?” she didn’t mean to sound rude but after twenty years it was quiet a surprise.” Actually I’m passing through I saw the sign in your window”.”Oh, she said biting her lower lip, a nervous habit she acquired as a child. “Is it still for rent?” “I just need it for the weekend.” “Are you sure?” she blushed. He smiled and winked, “Yes I’m sure.”
She had decided to rent the extra room out upstairs. The kids had their rooms; Caden was off at college, sometimes home on the weekends. She thought they could use the extra income. Things were tough at times with Ryan gone. Being a single mother was trying at times but the kids were the only joy she had left. Sometimes after the kids went to sleep she sat on the porch in her old rocker and looked over the mountain tops, sometimes wishing on the brightest star. Would she ever love again? Is there someone out there for me? She would think out loud. Would she ever feel like a woman again? Feel the touch of a man… could there be another Ryan? Or at least someone like him, someone who would love her. So many questions… how would she find the answers that she desperately needed? Each night she ask God to reveal his plan to her. She longed for Ryan, for his touch…the way he made love to her, the way he wanted her, she wanted him still. There was a void in her life, in her heart. Would God answer her prayer? Could this be the day that she prayed for? How would she know? “Have you had lunch?” “No, I was just about to run to the house for lunch.” “Would you like to follow me over?” “I can show you the room.” He agreed and she hung up a closed sign in the window and headed toward the house. It was twelve o’clock, she nervously fumbled for her keys and started her car. A blue mustang, her dad bought it for her birthday a few years back. Ryan shook his head and said he favored his pick-up any day of the week. It was a guy thing. She smiled as that crossed her mind. Blake followed her in a forest green Ford F350. She felt guilty… Would Ryan approve? It was only lunch… What about the room? Would that be o.k.? It would be nice to have adult company, with the pit of her stomach tied in a knot; she pulled into the driveway and rested her head on the steering wheel. “I don’t know if I can do this?” she whispers to herself. She pulled herself together and got out of her car.
Blake had rented the upstairs room from Savanna. She made him breakfast each morning along with her kids. She introduced him as an old friend from high school. They liked him he was funny. He told stories and too them fishing when he went. This weekend ended sooner than she’d hoped. Once again he was leaving. Did she dare stop him? They made small talk. They sat on the front porch, she in her rocking chair and he sat on the porch swing. She ask him about his life, if he had married or had children. He had a son, Jake. He married at twenty-five. It lasted three years. He met her at the University of Tennesee. Her name was Jade. She left him for a professor at the college. He smiled she gave me Jake. Savanna too smiled and sipped her coffee. She still felt a connection, chemistry. A few times he brushed against her as she made coffee or while she was cooking. She paused and closed her eyes. She wanted to reach out… but she was afraid and he too was hesitant because of Ryan, because of the children, he just wasn’t sure. He too was afraid she spoke of Ryan with love and he didn’t want to hurt her. He too was lonely. He dated some but nothing serious. He was an architect, he stayed busy. Like Savanna he devoted his time to work and his son Jake, who was back in Tennessee with his mother. He was sixteen and taking an interest in his dads work.
Blake was all packed suit case in hand. It was Sunday night; the kids were asleep it was getting late. Still he was there at 11pm. “Did he not want to go? “”Is there something he wanted to say to me? “Is it what I’m dying inside to say to him?” There he was standing in my kitchen he sat his suitcase by the door. I was cleaning up wiping the counter. I turned around and he startled me.”Oh!” I gasp. “You’re leaving?” “Yeah back to work early in the morning”. She felt a lump in her throat. “Blake…” she looked at him so many times before. His eyes still blue as the morning sky, this time reminded her of the ocean. A tear streamed down his cheek. “If I kissed you, you’d probably cry”, he smirked. She too was fighting back the flood of emotion boiling inside her. “If you don’t I’m going to have to kill you!” she laughed. She walked slowly towards him and laid her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her tousled auburn hair. She was still so beautiful to him if she acquired any wrinkles she must have found a magic cream to make them disappear! She looked prettier than before, if that were possible. He had picked up a few wrinkles over the years which Savanna had noticed but called it character. The same goes for a few gray hairs she had noticed in his hair. Still it was black as the night only a few gray hairs in his mustache and around his face. “I don’t want you to go”, stay with me>” she found herself sixteen again…” I can’t stay” he spoke softly” I can come back” he added. Her heart sank a familiar phrase. She led him by the hand to the den where the fireplace was burning. It was December…The tree was in the corner, decorated by popcorn sting and hand-painted ornaments that the children had made over the years. Multi-colored lights from top to bottom. A golden angel on top. She laid a thick blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was quiet only the sound of the fire crackling could be heard. Again she was sixteen. She blushed as he ran his finger down her face and then her neck. She kept her eyes opened. She gazed intensely into his hungry eyes. This time she wasn’t nervous. She knew what she needed. Her nervousness turned into desire. Although many times she had been with, Blake, she hadn’t really ‘been with’ Blake. They made out as teenagers do, maybe went a little further than she would of admitted to her mother at sixteen. She had only been intimate with Ryan. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, he kissed her fingertips and told her with his eyes that he wanted her. She closed her eyes and pulled the clip from her hair.
Her auburn hair fell onto her shoulders and she opened her eyes and he kissed her lips gently. Her emerald eyes glistened from the fire light. He ran his finger along her jaw line…she touched his hand with hers. He smelled like English leather. A familiar scent from her favorite summer. He smelled good enough to bite! She moved in to kiss him and playfully bite his lower lip. He growled and rolled her on the blanket as they laughed. That December Blake Daniels her first love made love to her for the very first time. He was gentle, he was strong, he was all that she needed for so long. He held her for hours. They drifted off to sleep his arms around her. Morning light crept through the window, she was already making coffee and breakfast. She’d been up since 5am as usual. “Blake, she whispered. “What time is it?” It’s almost 6 o’clock.” I’ll go home tomorrow, can I use the phone?” He got up and folded the blanket, got dressed and called Tennessee. We all had breakfast together like a family. We decided to spend Christmas together. Christmas was two weeks away and Jake would be with him for the holidays. They were coming to WV to see the mountains covered in snow and to see us! And they did.