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If Not Perfect,

Is Yet For The Most Part Excellent.

 

G. H. Maynadier.

 

 

Book 1 Chapter 1 Pg 5

Shewing The Wholesome Uses Drawn From Recording The Achievements

Of Those Wonderful Productions Of Nature Called Great Men.

 

 

 

 

 

As It Is Necessary That All Great And Surprising Events,  The

Designs Of Which Are Laid,  Conducted,  And Brought To Perfection By

The Utmost Force Of Human Invention And Art,  Should Be Produced By

Great And Eminent Men,  So The Lives Of Such May Be Justly And

Properly Styled The Quintessence Of History. In These,  When

Delivered To Us By Sensible Writers,  We Are Not Only Most

Agreeably Entertained,  But Most Usefully Instructed; For,  Besides

The Attaining Hence A Consummate Knowledge Of Human Nature In

General; Of Its Secret Springs,  Various Windings,  And Perplexed

Mazes; We Have Here Before Our Eyes Lively Examples Of Whatever Is

Amiable Or Detestable,  Worthy Of Admiration Or Abhorrence,  And Are

Consequently Taught,  In A Manner Infinitely More Effectual Than By

Precept,  What We Are Eagerly To Imitate Or Carefully To Avoid.

 

But Besides The Two Obvious Advantages Of Surveying,  As It Were In

A Picture,  The True Beauty Of Virtue And Deformity Of Vice,  We May

Moreover Learn From Plutarch,  Nepos,  Suetonius,  And Other

Biographers,  This Useful Lesson,  Not Too Hastily,  Nor In The

Gross,  To Bestow Either Our Praise Or Censure; Since We Shall

Often Find Such A Mixture Of Good And Evil In The Same Character

That It May Require A Very Accurate Judgment And A Very Elaborate

Inquiry To Determine On Which Side The Balance Turns,  For Though

We Sometimes Meet With An Aristides Or A Brutus,  A Lysander Or A

Nero,  Yet Far The Greater Number Are Of The Mixt Kind,  Neither

Totally Good Nor Bad; Their Greatest Virtues Being Obscured And

Allayed By Their Vices,  And Those Again Softened And Coloured Over

By Their Virtues.

 

Of This Kind Was The Illustrious Person Whose History We Now

Undertake; To Whom,  Though Nature Had Given The Greatest And Most

Book 1 Chapter 1 Pg 6

Shining Endowments,  She Had Not Given Them Absolutely Pure And

Without Allay. Though He Had Much Of The Admirable In His

Character,  As Much Perhaps As Is Usually To Be Found In A Hero,  I

Will Not Yet Venture To Affirm That He Was Entirely Free From All

Defects,  Or That The Sharp Eyes Of Censure Could Not Spy Out Some

Little Blemishes Lurking Amongst His Many Great Perfections.

 

We Would Not Therefore Be Understood To Affect Giving The Reader A

Perfect Or Consummate Pattern Of Human Excellence,  But Rather,  By

Faithfully Recording Some Little Imperfections Which Shadowed Over

The Lustre Of Those Great Qualities Which We Shall Here Record,  To

Teach The Lesson We Have Above Mentioned,  To Induce Our Reader

With Us To Lament The Frailty Of Human Nature,  And To Convince Him

That No Mortal,  After A Thorough Scrutiny,  Can Be A Proper Object

Of Our Adoration.

 

But Before We Enter On This Great Work We Must Endeavour To Remove

Some Errors Of Opinion Which Mankind Have,  By The Disingenuity Of

Writers,  Contracted: For These,  From Their Fear Of Contradicting

The Obsolete And Absurd Doctrines Of A Set Of Simple Fellows,

Called,  In Derision,  Sages Or Philosophers,  Have Endeavoured,  As

Much As Possible,  To Confound The Ideas Of Greatness And Goodness;

Whereas No Two Things Can Possibly Be More Distinct From Each

Other,  For Greatness Consists In Bringing All Manner Of Mischief

On Mankind,  And Goodness In Removing It From Them. It Seems

Therefore Very Unlikely That The Same Person Should Possess Them

Both; And Yet Nothing Is More Usual With Writers,  Who Find Many

Instances Of Greatness In Their Favourite Hero,  Than To Make Him A

Compliment Of Goodness Into The Bargain; And This,  Without

Considering That By Such Means They Destroy The Great Perfection

Called Uniformity Of Character. In The Histories Of Alexander And

Caesar We Are Frequently,  And Indeed Impertinently,  Reminded Of

Their Benevolence And Generosity,  Of Their Clemency And Kindness.

When The Former Had With Fire And Sword Overrun A Vast Empire,  Had

Destroyed The Lives Of An Immense Number Of Innocent Wretches,  Had

Scattered Ruin And Desolation Like A Whirlwind,  We Are Told,  As An

Example Of His Clemency,  That He Did Not Cut The Throat Of An Old

Woman,  And Ravish Her Daughters,  But Was Content With Only Undoing

Them. And When The Mighty Caesar,  With Wonderful Greatness Of

Mind,  Had Destroyed The Liberties Of His Country,  And With All The

Means Of Fraud And Force Had Placed Himself At The Head Of His

Equals,  Had Corrupted And Enslaved The Greatest People Whom The

Sun Ever Saw,  We Are Reminded,  As An Evidence Of His Generosity,

Of His Largesses To His Followers And Tools,  By Whose Means He Had

Accomplished His Purpose,  And By Whose Assistance He Was To

Establish It.

 

Now,  Who Doth Not See That Such Sneaking Qualities As These Are

Rather To Be Bewailed As Imperfections Than Admired As Ornaments

In These Great Men; Rather Obscuring Their Glory,  And Holding Them

Back In Their Race To Greatness,  Indeed Unworthy The End For Which

They Seem To Have Come Into The World,  Viz. Of Perpetrating Vast

And Mighty Mischief?

 

Book 1 Chapter 1 Pg 7

We Hope Our Reader Will Have Reason Justly To Acquit Us Of Any

Such Confounding Ideas In The Following Pages; In Which,  As We Are

To Record The Actions Of A Great Man,  So We Have Nowhere Mentioned

Any Spark Of Goodness Which Had Discovered Itself Either Faintly

In Him,  Or More Glaringly In Any Other Person,  But As A Meanness

And Imperfection,  Disqualifying Them For Undertakings Which Lead

To Honour And Esteem Among Men.

 

As Our Hero Had As Little As Perhaps Is To Be Found Of That

Meanness,  Indeed Only Enough To Make Him Partaker Of The

Imperfection Of Humanity,  Instead Of The Perfection Of Diabolism,

We Have Ventured To Call Him The Great; Nor Do We Doubt But Our

Reader,  When He Hath Perused His Story,  Will Concur With Us In

Allowing Him That Title.

Book 1 Chapter 2 Pg 8

Giving An Account Of As Many Of Our Hero's Ancestors As Can Be

Gathered Out Of The Rubbish Of Antiquity,  Which Hath Been

Carefully Sifted For That Purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

It Is The Custom Of All Biographers,  At Their Entrance Into Their

Work,  To Step A Little Backwards (As Far,  Indeed,  Generally As

They Are Able) And To Trace Up Their Hero,  As The Ancients Did The

River Nile,  Till An Incapacity Of Proceeding Higher Puts An End To

Their Search.

 

What First Gave Rise To This Method Is Somewhat Difficult To

Determine. Sometimes I Have Thought That The Hero's Ancestors Have

Been Introduced As Foils To Himself. Again,  I Have Imagined It

Might Be To Obviate A Suspicion That Such Extraordinary Personages

Were Not Produced In The Ordinary Course Of Nature,  And May Have

Proceeded From The Author's Fear That,  If We Were Not Told Who

Their Fathers Were,  They Might Be In Danger,  Like Prince

Prettyman,  Of Being Supposed To Have Had None. Lastly,  And Perhaps

More Truly,  I Have Conjectured That The Design Of The Biographer

Hath Been No More Than To Shew His Great Learning And Knowledge Of

Antiquity. A Design To Which The World Hath Probably Owed Many

Notable Discoveries,  And Indeed Most Of The Labours Of Our

Antiquarians.

 

But Whatever Original This Custom Had,  It Is Now Too Well

Established To Be Disputed. I Shall Therefore Conform To It In The

Strictest Manner.

 

Mr. Jonathan Wild,  Or Wyld,  Then (For He Himself Did Not Always

Agree In One Method Of Spelling His Name),  Was Descended From The

Great Wolfstan Wild,  Who Came Over With Hengist,  And Distinguished

Himself Very Eminently At That Famous Festival,  Where The Britons

Were So Treacherously Murdered By The Saxons; For When The Word

Was Given,  I.E. Nemet Eour Saxes,  Take Out Your Swords,  This

Gentleman,  Being A Little Hard Of Hearing,  Mistook The Sound For

Nemet Her Sacs,  Take Out Their Purses; Instead Therefore Of

Applying To The Throat,  He Immediately Applied To The Pocket Of

His Guest,  And Contented Himself With Taking All That He Had,

Without Attempting His Life.

 

The Next Ancestor Of Our Hero Who Was Remarkably Eminent Was Wild,

Surnamed Langfanger,  Or Longfinger. He Flourished In The Reign Of

Henry Iii.,  And Was Strictly Attached To Hubert De Burgh,  Whose

Friendship He Was Recommended To By His Great Excellence In An Art

Of Which Hubert Was Himself The Inventor; He Could,  Without The

Knowledge Of The Proprietor,  With Great Ease And Dexterity,  Draw

Forth A Man's Purse From Any Part Of His Garment Where It Was

Deposited,  And Hence He Derived His Surname. This Gentleman Was

The First Of His Family Who Had The Honour To Suffer For The Good

Of His Country: On Whom A Wit Of That Time Made The Following

Epitaph:--

 

O Shame O' Justice! Wild Is Hang'd,  For Thatten He A Pocket

Fang'd,  While Safe Old Hubert,  And His Gang,  Doth Pocket O' The

Nation Fang.

 

Langfanger Left A Son Named Edward,  Whom He Had Carefully

Instructed In The Art For Which He Himself Was So Famous. This

Edward Had A Grandson,  Who Served As A Volunteer Under The Famous

Sir John Falstaff,  And By His Gallant Demeanour So Recommended

Himself To His Captain,  That He Would Have Certainly Been Promoted

By Him,  Had Harry The Fifth Kept His Word With His Old Companion.

 

After The Death Of Edward The Family Remained In Some Obscurity

Down To The Reign Of Charles The First,  When James Wild

Distinguished Himself On Both Sides The Question In The Civil

Wars,  Passing From One To T'other,  As Heaven Seemed To Declare

Itself In Favour Of Either Party. At The End Of The War,  James Not

Being Rewarded According To His Merits,  As Is Usually The Case Of

Such Impartial Persons,  He Associated Himself With A Brave Man

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