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Superiors. I Must Own My Father Hath Often

Persuaded Me To Push Myself Into The Company Of My Betters; But,

To Say The Truth,  I Have An Aukward Pride In My Nature,  Which Is

Better Pleased With Being At The Head Of The Lowest Class Than At

The Bottom Of The Highest. Permit Me To Say,  Though The Idea May

Be Somewhat Coarse,  I Had Rather Stand On The Summit Of A Dunghill

Than At The Bottom Of A Hill In Paradise. I Have Always Thought It

Signifies Little Into What Rank Of Life I Am Thrown,  Provided I

Make A Great Figure Therein,  And Should Be As Well Satisfied With

Exerting My Talents Well At The Head Of A Small Party Or Gang,  As

In The Command Of A Mighty Army; For I Am Far From Agreeing With

You,  That Great Parts Are Often Lost In A Low Situation; On The

Contrary,  I Am Convinced It Is Impossible They Should Be Lost. I

Have Often Persuaded Myself That There Were Not Fewer Than A

Thousand In Alexander's Troops Capable Of Performing What

Alexander Himself Did.

 

"But,  Because Such Spirits Were Not Elected Or Destined To An

Imperial Command,  Are We Therefore To Imagine They Came Off

Without A Booty? Or That They Contented Themselves With The Share

In Common With Their Comrades? Surely,  No. In Civil Life,

Doubtless,  The Same Genius,  The Same Endowments,  Have Often

Composed The Statesman And The Prig,  For So We Call What The

Vulgar Name A Thief. The Same Parts,  The Same Actions,  Often

Book 1 Chapter 5 Pg 18

Promote Men To The Head Of Superior Societies,  Which Raise Them To

The Head Of Lower; And Where Is The Essential Difference If The

One Ends On Tower-Hill And The Other At Tyburn? Hath The Block Any

Preference To The Gallows,  Or The Ax To The Halter,  But Was Given

Them By The Ill-Guided Judgment Of Men? You Will Pardon Me,

Therefore,  If I Am Not So Hastily Inflamed With The Common Outside

Of Things,  Nor Join The General Opinion In Preferring One State To

Another. A Guinea Is As Valuable In A Leathern As In An

Embroidered Purse; And A Cod's Head Is A Cod's Head Still,  Whether

In A Pewter Or A Silver Dish."

 

The Count Replied As Follows: "What You Have Now Said Doth Not

Lessen My Idea Of Your Capacity,  But Confirms My Opinion Of The

Ill Effect Of Bad And Low Company. Can Any Man Doubt Whether It Is

Better To Be A Great Statesman Or A Common Thief? I Have Often

Heard That The Devil Used To Say,  Where Or To Whom I Know Not,

That It Was Better To Reign In Hell Than To Be A Valet-De-Chambre

In Heaven,  And Perhaps He Was In The Right; But Sure,  If He Had

Had The Choice Of Reigning In Either,  He Would Have Chosen Better.

The Truth Therefore Is,  That By Low Conversation We Contract A

Greater Awe For High Things Than They Deserve. We Decline Great

Pursuits Not From Contempt But Despair. The Man Who Prefers The

High Road To A More Reputable Way Of Making His Fortune Doth It

Because He Imagines The One Easier Than The Other; But You

Yourself Have Asserted,  And With Undoubted Truth,  That The Same

Abilities Qualify You For Undertaking,  And The Same Means Will

Bring You To Your End In Both Journeys--As In Music It Is The Same

Tune,  Whether You Play It In A Higher Or A Lower Key. To Instance

In Some Particulars: Is It Not The Same Qualification Which

Enables This Man To Hire Himself As A Servant,  And To Get Into The

Confidence And Secrets Of His Master In Order To Rob Him,  And That

To Undertake Trusts Of The Highest Nature With A Design To Break

And Betray Them? Is It Less Difficult By False Tokens To Deceive A

Shopkeeper Into The Delivery Of His Goods,  Which You Afterwards

Run Away With,  Than To Impose Upon Him By Outward Splendour And

The Appearance Of Fortune Into A Credit By Which You Gain And He

Loses Twenty Times As Much? Doth It Not Require More Dexterity In

The Fingers To Draw Out A Man's Purse From His Pocket,  Or To Take

A Lady's Watch From Her Side,  Without Being Perceived Of Any (An

Excellence In Which,  Without Flattery,  I Am Persuaded You Have No

Superior),  Than To Cog A Die Or To Shuffle A Pack Of Cards? Is Not

As Much Art,  As Many Excellent Qualities,  Required To Make A

Pimping Porter At A Common Bawdy-House As Would Enable A Man To

Prostitute His Own Or His Friend's Wife Or Child? Doth It Not Ask

As Good A Memory,  As Nimble An Invention,  As Steady A Countenance,

To Forswear Yourself In Westminster-Hall As Would Furnish Out A

Complete Tool Of State,  Or Perhaps A Statesman Himself? It Is

Needless To Particularize Every Instance; In All We Shall Find

That There Is A Nearer Connexion Between High And Low Life Than Is

Generally Imagined,  And That A Highwayman Is Entitled To More

Favour With The Great Than He Usually Meets With. If,  Therefore,

As I Think I Have Proved,  The Same Parts Which Qualify A Man For

Eminence In A Low Sphere,  Qualify Him Likewise For Eminence In A

Higher,  Sure It Can Be No Doubt In Which He Would Chuse To Exert

Book 1 Chapter 5 Pg 19

Them. Ambition,  Without Which No One Can Be A Great Man,  Will

Immediately Instruct Him,  In Your Own Phrase,  To Prefer A Hill In

Paradise To A Dunghill; Nay,  Even Fear,  A Passion The Most

Repugnant To Greatness,  Will Shew Him How Much More Safely He May

Indulge Himself In The Free And Full Exertion Of His Mighty

Abilities In The Higher Than In The Lower Rank; Since Experience

Teaches Him That There Is A Crowd Oftener In One Year At Tyburn

Than On Tower-Hill In A Century." Mr. Wild With Much Solemnity

Rejoined,  "That The Same Capacity Which Qualifies A Mill-

Ken,[Footnote: A Housebreaker.] A Bridle-Cull,[Footnote: A

Highwayman.] Or A Buttock-And-File,  [Footnote: A Shoplifter. Terms

Used In The Cant Dictionary.] To Arrive At Any Degree Of Eminence

In His Profession,  Would Likewise Raise A Man In What The World

Esteem A More Honourable Calling,  I Do Not Deny; Nay,  In Many Of

Your Instances It Is Evident That More Ingenuity,  More Art,  Are

Necessary To The Lower Than The Higher Proficients. If,  Therefore,

You Had Only Contended That Every Prig Might Be A Statesman If He

Pleased,  I Had Readily Agreed To It; But When You Conclude That It

Is His Interest To Be So,  That Ambition Would Bid Him Take That

Alternative,  In A Word,  That A Statesman Is Greater Or Happier

Than A Prig,  I Must Deny My Assent. But,  In Comparing These Two

Together,  We Must Carefully Avoid Being Misled By The Vulgar

Erroneous Estimation Of Things,  For Mankind Err In Disquisitions

Of This Nature As Physicians Do Who In Considering The Operations

Of A Disease Have Not A Due Regard To The Age And Complexion Of

The Patient. The Same Degree Of Heat Which Is Common In This

Constitution May Be A Fever In That; In The Same Manner That Which

May Be Riches Or Honour To Me May Be Poverty Or Disgrace To

Another: For All These Things Are To Be Estimated By Relation To

The Person Who Possesses Them. A Booty Of L10 Looks As Great In

The Eye Of A Bridle-Cull,  And Gives As Much Real Happiness To His

Fancy,  As That Of As Many Thousands To The Statesman; And Doth Not

The Former Lay Out His Acquisitions In Whores And Fiddles With

Much Greater Joy And Mirth Than The Latter In Palaces And

Pictures? What Are The Flattery,  The False Compliments Of His Gang

To The Statesman,  When He Himself Must Condemn His Own Blunders,

And Is Obliged Against His Will To Give Fortune The Whole Honour

Of Success? What Is The Pride Resulting From Such Sham Applause,

Compared To The Secret Satisfaction Which A Prig Enjoys In His

Mind In Reflecting On A Well-Contrived And Well-Executed Scheme?

Perhaps,  Indeed,  The Greater Danger Is On The Prig's Side; But

Then You Must Remember That The Greater Honour Is So Too. When I

Mention Honour,  I Mean That Which Is Paid Them By Their Gang; For

That Weak Part Of The World Which Is Vulgarly Called The Wise See

Both In A Disadvantageous And Disgraceful Light; And As The Prig

Enjoys (And Merits Too) The Greater Degree Of Honour From His

Gang,  So Doth He Suffer The Less Disgrace From The World,  Who

Think His Misdeeds,  As They Call Them,  Sufficiently At Last

Punished With A Halter,  Which At Once Puts An End To His Pain And

Infamy; Whereas The Other Is Not Only Hated In Power,  But Detested

And Contemned At The Scaffold; And Future Ages Vent Their Malice

On His Fame,  While The Other Sleeps Quiet And Forgotten. Besides,

Let Us A Little Consider The Secret Quiet Of Their Consciences:

How Easy Is The Reflection Of Having Taken A Few Shillings Or

Book 1 Chapter 5 Pg 20

Pounds From A Stranger,  Without Any Breach Of Confidence,  Or

Perhaps Any Great Harm To The Person Who Loses It,  Compared To

That Of Having Betrayed A Public Trust,  And Ruined The Fortunes Of

Thousands,  Perhaps Of A Great Nation! How Much Braver Is An Attack

On The Highway Than At A Gaming-Table; And How Much More Innocent

The Character Of A B--Dy-House Than A C--T Pimp!" He Was Eagerly

Proceeding,  When,  Casting His Eyes On The Count,  He Perceived Him

To Be Fast Asleep; Wherefore,  Having First Picked His Pocket Of

Three Shillings,  Then Gently Jogged Him In Order To Take His

Leave,  And Promised To Return To Him The Next Morning To

Breakfast,  They Separated: The Count Retired To Rest,  And Master

Wild To A Night-Cellar.

 

 

Book 1 Chapter 6 Pg 21
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