Into The Dark by Adeniyi Adeoye (booksvooks txt) 📕

Into the Dark.

Adeoye Adeniyi Adebisi ©

All Rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author.

First published in 2020

My life started on a rocky note. I was born into a family where my father's love and resources had to be shared amongst a lot of people. On the other hand,my mum played a huge role in my evolution into the person I am today. She was raised by a dragon,so to speak. I believe this had a great effect in how she brought me up. She was Stern and she always used her voice. I can remember the day she shouted at me so loud and sudden that I peed on myself. The way she shouted and questioned everything made me always fear asking her for things and permission to do somethings,even till date. I always went through my sister. That's why I lacked a lot of things.Today when people ask me to come over to their place or for an outing,I tell them that I am a prisoner,but the truth is I'm just too chicken to ask my mum for permission. She's probably the reason why I talk slowly and I've grown up to become a spineless, anxious and fretful person.

I wasn't born with a gold spoon in my mouth,but my mum cared for me so much that it didn't seem that way. Unlike many other kids who didn't have worries at a young age,I was always worried. I was aware of my parent's status and I wasn't too happy about it. While other children enjoyed their childhood having fun and making memories,I spent mine wondering why my parents weren't wealthy and when they would finally be.

I always played alone. I used to think I had friends,but whenever it was time for them to show and tell,it always seemed like I never existed.

My life began to fall apart when my mum and dad went their separate ways.

I've always been different. I never mixed with others. I believed in doing the right thing even though it meant being called lame and boring. I never cared. I was always ready to help...but as I grew older I discovered a lot of people were trying to manipulate me and use me because of my goodness and gentleness. I helped a lot of people,but no one was ready to do the same for me. It hurt. I held on to people's promises but I was let down so many times. So many times that I lost faith,hope,trust and interest in humanity.

Growing up with a single mother wasn't easy at all. I felt pity for her because I couldn't help in any way.

I grew up developing different ideas, ideologies and thoughts. I believed I was right and I always wanted to enlighten others,I always wanted to share my ideas and beliefs with others. But nobody ever gave me audience. No body ever seemed to find sense in the things I do and say. They never attend to me, nobody was ready to listen to me...probably because of the way I spoke.

I am a talented kid. Sometimes I call myself a genius or prodigee. To some extent,I am but unfortunately a lot of people don't even try to see that truth. I've done so many things that could have probably made me a star, I've had so many ideas that would have probably made me a billionaire,but no one believed in me or was ready to invest in me. This made life tiring and exhausting.

Just like everyone else,I have problems. Sometimes I think mine are more than usual. Apart from being broke,stupid,boring,weird,perhaps mentally unstable,anxious and hyper-sensitive, I am also hypertensive.

I had wanted to die so many times,but I'd never tried to commit suicide. Because my faith forbids me from doing so. But every time I cross the road,I look left and right to check if it is safe to cross but deep down I wish I would just get run over by something.

I was chatting with a friend one night and I was complaining about life as usual and then she said something that shocked me. She asked me to stop pity partying. I was rocked. She was right, that's why it hurt. All these while I never realized it. I had always painted myself as a victim so people would feel sorry for me and I never knew it. I was hurt,broken and devastated.

Especially because she was someone I loved. I then realized why everyone looked down on me. I couldn't sleep that night.

One of the weird things I do is to sit in the dark and think. Overthinking was also one of problems and I always did it in the dark because I believed that my imaginations were clearer and more vivid in the dark. Every night,I would sit in the dark thinking about how much my life sucked,I would think of a better life,I would think about the day I would finally be able to get back at all those that had hurt me.

But as I continued to think,it seemed like life was getting worse. So worse that sometimes I would try to imagine myself in a better situation to make myself better but the huge difference between my imagination and reality would water those dreams and flood my heart with sorrow.

One very day,I was in the dark, thinking as usual. But something wasn't right.It was darker than usual. And too silent. All of a sudden I saw a bright light in the thick darkness. And yes it's true what they say that light shines brighter in the dark. I saw a mysterious silhouette in the light.it looked like the image of the devil. It was calling out to me. I saw the mysterious figure stretch it's hand towards me. I rose from my bed and moved closer. I took it's hand and went in with it and everything became completely dark.

***

Everything was completely dark for about 5 seconds. Then I was able to see again. But what I saw took me aback.

I saw 8 year old me playing around in front my apartment. I saw the younger version of myself happy,jumping around alone. I saw him playing football alone as the goalkeeper,defender, midfielder and striker and he was happy. I saw how happy he was. I saw everyone as they stared at him and laughed at him. I saw them ask themselves if he was crazy. And then I remembered it all like it was yesterday.

Then I saw myself in my primary 6 classroom then, I saw myself crying when we were asked to choose the kids that would be prefects. As a regular contender for the first position and an all round fun kid I thought I would be a perfect choice. That day I didn't cry because I wasn't made the head prefect but because no one seemed to remember that I existed. I didn't even hear my name. After they made their choice,they noticed that I was crying,I saw them laugh at me....I remembered everything.

I saw the day 10 year old me angrily hit a food flask on a kid's head and mistakenly cutting part of his ear off. I saw days that I would get angry and anxious that I would break things in the house. I saw how relieved I was when I did it.

I remembered it all.

Then I saw everyone that had hurt me...I looked at all of them. They screamed insults and laughed at me. They made fun of me. Their hysterical laughters were so loud they bursted my eardrums. I fell on my knees and I closed my eyes and then the noise stopped.

When I rose up and opened my eyes,I saw myself at a podium,I saw literally everyone I knew in the audience. I saw my family in front. They were all waiting for me to speak. I was scared. I opened my mouth to say my name but I saw the faces of the audience,they were bored,they were upset. They began to boo me and throw stuff at me. I looked at my family as they hid their faces. They were disappointed. Tears rolled down my cheeks. My heart broke into smithereens.

The crowd charged towards me like angry tigers,their faces changed and their eyes were lit with rage. I ran for my life but they were gaining on me. It wasn't long before they caught up with me and tore me apart.

***

Everything was dark once again. Then I saw the bright light and the silhouette again.

The strange figure asked me "What did you see?"

"I saw my life,my past,my pain,my fears" I replied.

"Who are you?" I asked the strange figure.

"I should ask you that question" the strange figure answered.

I decided to move closer,but as I did the strange figure began to more familiar.

When I finally got to him,I was stunned. I saw myself with two horns on my head and I was holding a devil's pitchfork.

"I am you?" I asked.

"Look" the creature said as it pointed towards my back.

I looked back and I saw different versions of me. And it dawned on me that I've always been scared,alone,dark,weird and different. So what if I wasn't meant to be good?what if my place was always in the dark?what if being different wasn't that bad? What if I could be happy alone? What if I wasn't supposed to be liked by anyone? What if I could make the best out of my darkness? What if I don't need anyone's pity? What would happen if I accepted myself for who and what I really am? What if I'm supposed to embrace my fears and use them? What if I was meant to be the bad guy?

"I am you" I said "I belong here,this is me" I said. "But why?" I asked.

"Now that you know who you are,come with me" the creature said as we went into the light.

I saw everything,I saw the things hidden in the dark. I saw all the lies,I saw the truth,I saw everything that we were doing wrong. I saw the end. I saw the victory of doom. I saw that I sided with doom and I won. I saw devastating events...I saw lives and properties that were destroyed. I saw my place in all the events at the end. I saw complete darkness,but I saw light within it.

"Now that you know who you are and what you were made for,I believe that you know what you must do" the creature said as it vanished.

"Yes I do" I replied.

Indeed I do, I know the reason for my difference, I know the reason why I have always been alienated. I know the reasons for all my pain. It was in preparation for what is to come. I know my duty towards mankind.I know my connection with the end, I know my connection with doom,I know why I must embrace my darkness,I know why I was chosen. Something I could never imagine. The Great mandate.

So you might be wondering who I am, I'll tell you.

I am The Great Liberator and I will bring darkness that you might see the light.

To be continued.....

17