M*A*S*H Quotes. by Compiled by John Damocles Smith. (best classic books to read TXT) 📕

M*A*S*H Quotes 1- 20.


This blog is a labour of love, I cannot guarantee that every quote is worded accurately but every effort has been made to do so. I appreciate any mistakes you find being pointed out in your comments. This is for the fans, the actors, the crew and everyone involved in the making of this classic series which made television history.

1- B.J to Maj. Charles Winchester regarding the substances accumulating in the floorboards making patients sick.

"Y'know Charles, you and that floor have got a lot in common. Both full of cultures which we can't tolerate."


2- Maj. Houlihan to her nurses standing in formation preparing for her father's arrival.

"Wipe those smiles off your faces and stop looking so miserable."


3- "I swear it, I swear it on Frank's life."

-Hawkeye.


4- Frank expressing disgust upon seeing Colonel Blake coming indoors with a young woman and then realized he was contradicting himself.

"Now that's disgusting, a married man fooling around with someone other than his wife."


5- Radar addressing Hawkeye.

"Sir."

"Thanks for the knighthood, Radar."


6- Maj. Houlihan barging into the men's showers to talk to Colonel Potter about a serious issue.

"Colonel, I need to see you."

"Come a little closer Major and you'll get the whole picture."


7- Hawkeye had an apparent allergy but was in fact stress from a traumatic memory.

Hawkeye:- "I bet it's something here, something small."
B.J:- "It couldn't be Charles' ego."


8- Hawkeye:- "The oldest allergy of all, why do we let weeds grow here?"
B.J:- "The gardener tried to mow the minefield."


9- Hawkeye:- "Maybe I'm allergic to Charles (Winchester), stuffiness makes me sneeze."


10- Major Houlihan wanted to see the optometrist but pretended that she wanted to meet him.

B.J:- "I can't believe that Major Houlihan is making eyes at the optometrist."


11- All the seniour officers were seated around discussing Radar, who's left.

"I never thought I'd miss Radar, I was right."

-Maj. Winchester.


12- Colonel Potter talking about when Radar first worked for him as his assistant.

"Radar broke my pocket watch, so he came in every 15 minutes to tell me the time, it drove me coo-coo... ...especially at four in the morning."


13- The bugle had been thrown in the bonfire the previous night and the next morning they looked for it, found it and blew in it. The sound indicated the damage.

"Sounds even better."


14- Hawkeye writing a letter to his Father.

"...all the senseless inhumane acts and people behaving like animals. And then there's of course, the war."


15- Hawkeye writing a letter to his Father.

"I don't know what Henry would do without Radar. I don't know what we'd do without Henry. I can't wait to get home and find out."


16- Someone tried to kill Colonel Blake by driving a jeep through his tent. He assumed it was McIntyre and stormed into The Swamp and accused him. Hawkeye denied it by saying:-

"Trapper may be crazy but he isn't insane."


17- Frank calling Hawkeye and McIntyre drunks. Hawkeye's response:-

"That is a rumour branded by people I've fallen over."


18- "Three of the basic human emotions are greed, fear and greed. And Frank's fond of money."

-Hawkeye.


19- McIntyre:- "It looks like a gold (tooth) filling. It must be Henry's."

Hawkeye:- "If it is, then it's the only good thing that has ever come out of his mouth."


20- Frank to Hot Lips.

"I'll write to you every day. Faithfully."

"Promise?"

"Like I do with my wife."

Publication Date: 09-22-2011

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