Samantha at the World's Fair by Marietta Holley (ebook and pdf reader txt) 📕

face that made me think he hadn't gin up the idee, and I spoze that some good cowcumber seed will be wasted like as not, to say nothin' of karsene.

Wall, all connected with this house is two big open courts, full and runnin' over with beauty and wonder; on the south is the aquatic garden, showin' all the plants and flowers and wonderful water growth.

Here Josiah begun to make calculations agin about growin' flowers in our old mill-pond, but I broke it up.

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On the north court is a magnificent orange grove. Why, it makes you feel as though you wuz a-standin' in California or Florida, under the beautiful green trees, full of the ripe, rich fruit, and blossoms, and green leaves.

Wall, the hull house, take it all in all, is such a seen of wonder, and enchantment, and delight, that it might have been transplanted, jest as it stood, from the Arabian nights entertainment.

And you would almost expect if you turned a corner to meet Old Alibaby, or a Grand Vizier, or somebody before you got out of there.

But we didn't; and after feastin' our eyes on the beauty and wonder on't, we sot off to see the rest of the flowers and plants, for we laid out when we first went to the World's Fair to see one thing at a time so fur as we could, and then tackle another, though I am free to confess that it wuz sometimes like tacklin' the sea-shore to count the grains of sand, or tacklin' the great north woods to count how many leaves wuz on the trees, or measurin' the waters of Lake Ontario with a teaspoon, or any other hard job you are a mind to bring up.

But this day we laid out to see as much as we could of the immense display of flowers.

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But where there is milds and milds of clear flowers, what can you do? You can't look at every one on 'em, to save your life.

Why, to jest give you a small idee of the magnitude and size, jest think of five hundred thousand pansies from every quarter of the globe, and every beautiful color that wuz ever seen or drempt of. You know them posies do look some like faces, and the faces look like "the great multitude no man could number," that we read about, and every one of them faces a-bloomin' with every color of the rainbow. And speakin' of rainbows, before long we did see one—a long, shinin', glitterin' rainbow, made out of pure pansies, of which more anon and bimeby.

And then, think of seein' from five to ten millions of tulips. Why, I had thought I had raised tulips; I had had from twenty to thirty in full blow at one time, and had realized it, though I didn't mean to be proud nor haughty.

But I knew that my tulips wuz fur ahead of Miss Isham's, or any other Jonesvillian, and I had feelin's accordin'.

But then to think of ten millions of 'em—why, it would took Miss Isham and me more'n a week to jest count 'em, and work hard, too, all the time.

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Why, when I jest stretched out my eye-sight to try to take in them ten millions of globes of gorgeous beauty, my sperits sunk in me further than the Queen of Sheba's did before the glory of Solomon; I felt that minute that I would love to see Miss Sheba, and neighbor with her a spell, and talk with her about pride, and how it felt when it wuz a-fallin'. I could go ahead of her, fur, fur, and I thought I would have loved to own it up to her, and if Solomon had been present, too, I wouldn't have cared a mite—I felt humble. And I jest marched off and never said a word about gittin' a root for me or Miss Isham—I wuz fairly overcome.

And still we walked round through milds and milds of solid beauty and bloom. Every beautiful posey I had ever hearn on, and them I had never hearn on wuz there, right before my dazzled eyes.

The biggest crowd we see in the Horticultural Hall wuz round what you may call the humblest thing—a tree, something like old Bobbetses calf, with five legs.

There wuz a fern from Japan, two separate varieties growin' together in one plant.

There wuz Japanese dwarf trees one hundred years old and about as big as gooseberries.

A travellin' tree from Madagascar wuz one of the most interestin' things to look at.

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And then there wuz a giant fern from Australia that measured thirty-two feet—the largest, so I wuz told, in Europe or America. Thirty-two feet! And there I have felt so good and even proud-sperited over my fern I took up out of our woods and brung home and sot out in Mother Smith's old blue sugar-bowl. Why, that fern wuz so large and beautiful, and attracted the envious and admirin' attention of so many Jonesvillians, that I had strong idees of takin' it to the Fair!

Philury said she "hadn't a doubt of my gittin' the first prize medal on't." "Why," sez she, "it is as long as Ury's arm!" And it wuz. Miss Lum thought it would be a good thing to take it, to let Chicago and the rest of the world see what vegetation wuz nateral to Jonesville, feelin' that they would most likely have a deep interest in it.

And Deacon Henzy thought "it might draw population there."

And the schoolmaster thought that "it would be useful to the foreign powers to see to what height swamp culture had attained in the growth of its idigenious plants."

I didn't really understand everything he said—there wuz a number more big words in his talk—but I presoom he did, and felt comforted to use 'em.

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Why, as I said, I had boasted that fern wuz as long as my arm.

But thirty-two feet—as high as Josiah, and his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, and his great-great-grandfather, and Ury on top.

Where, where wuz my boastin'? Gone, washed away utterly on the sea of wonder and or.

And then there wuz a century plant with a blossom stem thirty feet high, and a posey accordin', one posey agin as high as my Josiah, and his father, and etc., etc., etc., and Ury.

Oh, good gracious! oh, dear me suz!

That plant wuzn't expected to blow out in several years, but all of a sudden it shot up that immense stalk, up, up to thirty feet.

It wuz as if the Queen of the Flowery Kingdom had come with the rest of the kings and princesses of the earth to the Columbus World's Fair.

Had changed her plans to come with the rest of the royal family. It wuz a sight.

Wall, after roamin' there the best part of two hours, I said to my companion, "Less go and see the Wooded Island." And he said with a deep sithe, "I am ready, and more than ready. The name sounds good to me. I would love to see some good plain wood, either corded up or in sled length."

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I see he wuz sick of lookin' at flowers, and I d'no as I could blame him; for my own head seemed to be jest a-turnin' round and round, and every turnin' had more colors than any rainbow you ever laid eyes on.

He wuz dretful anxious to git out-doors himself. He said it wuz all for himself that he wuz hurryin' so.

I d'no that, but I do know that in his haste to help me git out he stepped on my foot, and almost made a wreck of that valuable member.

I looked bad, and groaned, and sithed considerable 'fore he got to the sheltered bench he'd sot out for.

He acted sorry, and I didn't reproach him any.

I only sez, "Oh, I don't lay it up aginst you, Josiah. It jest reminds me of Sister Blanker."

And he sez, "I don't thank you to compare me to that slab-sided old maid."

Sez I, "I believe she's a Christian, Josiah."

And so I do. But sez I, "Folks must be megum even in goodness, Josiah Allen, and in order to set down and hold a half orphan in your arms, you mustn't overset yourself and come down on the floor on top of a hull orphan or a nursin' child.

"You mustn't tromple so fast on your way to the gole as to walk over and upset two or three lame ones and paryletics."

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Sez I, "Do you remember my eppisode with Sister Blanker, Josiah?"

He did not frame a reply to me, but sot off to look at sunthin' or ruther, sayin' that he would come back in a few minutes.

And as I sot there alone Memory went on and onrolled her panorama in front of my eyeballs, about my singular eppisode with Drusilla Blanker.

Sister Blanker is a good woman and a Christian, but she never so much as sot her foot on the fair plains of megumness, whose balmy, even climate has afforded me so much comfort all my life.

No; she is a woman who stalks on towards goles and don't mind who or what she upsets on her way.

She is a woman who a-chasin' sinners slams the door in the faces of saints.

And what I mean by this is that she is in such a hurry to git inside the door of Duty (a real heavy door sometimes, heavy as iron), she don't see whether or not it is a-goin' to slam back and hit somebody in the forward.

A remarkable instance of this memory onrolled on her panorama—a eppisode that took place in our own Jonesville meetin'-house.

The session room where we go to session sometimes and to transact other business has got a heavy swing door. And everybody who goes through it always calculates to hold it[Pg 396] back if there is anybody comin' behind 'em, for that door has been known to knock a man down when it come onto him onexpected and onbeknown to him.

Wall, Sister Blanker wuz a-goin' on ahead of me one night; it wuz a charitable meetin' that we wuz a-goin' to—to quilt a bedquilt for a heathen—and she knew I wuz jest behind her—right on her tracts, as you may say, for we had sot out together from the preachin'-room, and we had been a-talkin' all the way there on the different merits of otter color or butnut for linin' for the quilt, and as to whether herrin'-bone looked so good as a quiltin' stitch as plain rib.

She favored rib and otter; I kinder leaned toward herrin'-bone and butnut.

We had had a agreeable talk all the way, though I couldn't help seein' she wuz too hard on butnut, and slightin' in her remarks on herrin'-bone.

Anyway, she knew I wuz with her in the body; but as she ketched sight of the door that wuz a-goin' to let her in where she could begin to do good, her mind jest soared right up, and she forgot everything and everybody, and she let that door slam right back and hit me on my right arm, and laid me up for over five weeks.

And I fell right back on Edna Garvin, and she is lame, and it knocked her over b[Pg 397]ackwards onto Sally Ann Bobbetses little girl, and she fell flat down, and Miss Gowdey on top of her, and Miss Gowdey, bein' a-walkin' along lost in thought about the bedquilt, and thinkin' how much battin' we should need in it, and not lookin' for a obstacle in her path, slipped right up and fell forwards. Wall, a-tryin' to save little Annie Gowdey from bein' squashed right down, Miss Gowdey throwed herself sideways and strained her back. She weighs two hundred, and is loose-jinted.

And she hain't got over it to this day. She insists on't that she loosened her spine in the affair.

And I d'no but she did!

But the child wuz gin up to die. So for weeks and weeks the Bobbetses and all of Sally Ann's relations (she wuz a Henzy and wide connected in the Methodist meetin'-house) had to give up all their time a-hangin' over that sick-bed.

And the Garvins wuz mad as hens, and they bein' connected with most everybody in the Dorcuss Society—and it wuzn't over than above large—why, take it with my bein' laid up and the children havin' to be home so much, Sister Blanker in that one slam jest about cleaned out the hull Methodist meetin'-house.

The quilt wuzn't touched after that night, and the heathen lay cold all winter, for all I know.

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I had all I