Hidden by Alexis Wadden (the reader ebook TXT) 📕

I walk down the hallway, keeping my head down. I can't look anybody in the eye. I feel like they are all staring at me, yet I knew they're not. I pass by Jade and Bryce, and they give me a knowing look. I know they are angry, but they understand. I stop, and look up. My favorite teacher looks at me with a worried look. I pull my sleves down, and continue walking through the hall. I open my locker, and there's another note. Why do they keep doing this? I know I shouldn't do this, but I open it anyways.

"Dear Lilly, No one likes you. I don't understand why you keep going to this school and acting like you belong here. You know you don't. Honestly, I think you should just kill yourself. sincerly, X"

At this moment, I'm seriously considering it. Why shouldn't I? I mean, people don't like me. Jade and Bryce are angry...... This really seems like an ideal thing. Maybe I...

"Hey!" I hear a male voice, and something touching my back. I jump and turn.

"Oh, hey, Derrick." I say, relieved. He wraps his arms around me, tightly.

I push him away, and he looks at me, sadly. He knows what I've done. He grabs my left arm, and roles up my sleve.

"Lil, why?" He is now teary eyed.

"Derrick," I say, taking his hand in mine. "You know." I hand him the note. "That's the third one this month." He opens the note, and reads it quietly to himself. His hand covers his mouth as he gasps.

"Oh, Lilly," He pulls me into another hug, and doesn't let me go. "I'm so sorry. I promise, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of everyone being so, cruel, and harsh. I'm so sorry."

He looks into my eyes, and kisses my cheek. I wipe his tears, and tell him its okay. He hugs me once more, closes my locker door, and off we walk to class.

As we walk into 1st period Science, I hear someoe cough and say "Loser" under their breath. I honestly can say, right now, I don't care. I have Derrick by my side, and I feel like I can take the world; head on. We walk past the guy that said "Loser" and Derrick flicks him in the back of the head. I can't help but to giggle.

We finally sit down in the back of the room, next to Jade and Bryce. Bryce puts his hand out to help me sit down, and Jade uses me as a foot rest; as usual. It seems things are looking up! Today isn't going to be as bad as I thought it would be. Or so I thought....

As I'm walking home, I can't get Derrick out of my head. I never realized in our 8 years of friendship how good looking he REALLY is. With his shaggy dark brown hair, blue eyes, and pale skin, he's my kind of guy. But something about him makes me weery. He seems, kind of secretive. But the thing is, I really like that about him. He makes me smile, for reasons I didn't know possible...

I get to my door step, and pull out my house key. As I put the key in the door, and group of kids from my school drove by and hollered at me.

"Hey loser! Mom doesn't want you in the house you have to use a key? Poor you!" One of them yells.

I try to ignore this, but it's hard. I don't have anyone around to tell them to stop, so they continue yelling terrible, and hurtful things. I act like I can't hear them, yet somehow I know they can tell it hurts me. I just wish they'd stop, you know?

I finally get inside, slam the door, and drop on the couch. Sobbing. I hear my older brother, Justin, walking down the stairs. I wipe the tears, re-apply my lip gloss, and turn on the TV. Thankfully, it's still on the channel I was watching this morning. Ahh, nothin better than some MTV.

"Hey sis." Justin says, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey, Sleepy Head. Have a good day?" I say, giggling. He looks at me with those devilish and very tired eyes. I start laughing; hard.

"Hey man, listen, it's been a rough day. I might be out of a job." He whispsers.

Shocked, I say, "Ummmm, WHAT?? Dude, Mom's gonna KILL you!"

"I know... But please, Lilly, if it's the last thing you do, DON'T TELL MOM."

"Pshh.. It very well may be." I say to myself in my head.

"Okay." I promise.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I've never lied to my mom. Well, except for the time she asked what was on my wrists. I told her I fell. She, of course, being the push over she was, she believed me. I don't understand how parent's could be so oblivous to things like that.

Mom comes home around, 9 pm. She looks exhausted, so I make dinner. Ramen Noodles. YUM!

"Hey sweetie. How was your day?" She asks me as she's untying her shoes. I hand her a bowl of noodles, and she bows her head in thanks.

"Fine." I lie. "Yours?"

"Tiring. Mind if I take this to my room and eat? Wait, why am I asking? I'm the mother! I almost forgot because at work it's like I'm the kid, and Sandy is my mother. Although, she's old enough she could be!" She jokes. Mom just started working at the local hospital. Sandy is her supervisor. And might I add, she isn't the nicest person alive.

"Go ahead, mommy. You deserve it." I kiss her head, take her shoes and put them by the door, and shoo her from the table to go upstairs.

I follow her upstairs. I have homework I need to be doing. Or do I just feel like cutting is my new nightly homework? I can't tell. I go upstairs, and get into my backpack. I grab my Soical Studies book, and sit at my desk. I open to a random page and try to focus. It's becoming unbelievably hard to see the words. I can't tell why at first, until I realize I'm crying. Why? I don't really know. I guess it just happens.

I suddenly have the erge to open my drawer, and grab my evil tool; my blade. I try to fight the erge. It works for about, 5 minutes, until I can't bare it anymore.

I open the drawer, and grab my "Pencil Case". I open it, and under a few pens and pencils, there it is. My vice. I grab it, slowly, making sure not to cut my fingers.

I roll up my left sleve, and place the blade on my delicate and burning skin. My crying becomes sobbing, and my breathing becomes very heavy.

I slide the blade from left to right, many times. I almost don't realize there was blood until my fingers get sticky. I stop then, and run to the bathroom. I run my arm under cold water, and watch as the blood trickles down the sink. It doesn't hurt anymore, and the blood kind of calms me. I don't know why, but it does. It's rather scary.

The knob of the bathroom door turns, and I realize something: I've been crying loudly this whole time. I open it, thinking it's mom or Justin. But it's neither of the two. It's Derrick.

 
"Lilly, give me your blade. NOW." Says Derrick. He looks like he's been crying.

I lead him to my room. I open the door, and he sees all the blood on my desk, my rug, and my blade. He drops to his knees. He starts sobbing, and he screams "Why!"

"Lilly," He says, trying to control his breathing. "Why do you keep doing this?"

"How'd you know?" I ask.

"You're mom called me. Lilly, you have to stop. I'm serious. I can't loose you." He kisses me. I kiss back, ignoring the excruciating pain coming from my arm. Both of my hands go to his face, and I pull him closer. I start crying in the middle of the kiss. He pulls away.

"Oh God, did I hurt you?" He starts crying, too.

"No, no. I just, I really regret all of this. But I can't stop. I've become addicted. It's like, you know when Bryce started smoking?" Derrick knods, wrapping my arm with gauge he somehow found in my room I assume. "Well, smoking and cutting are very similar. They both are very addictive. And, well, I've become hooked."

Derrick looks me in the eyes. "Lilly, you need help. I can be your help. I can move in the basement and whenever you feel like you're going to hurt yourself in anyway, just come to me." He kisses my forehead.

I knod. "Please stay. I don't want to be alone." I crawl into his lap, and he holds me, rocking me, wiping away my tears, and telling me it'll be alright. I believe him. He kisses my forehead, and whispers "Goodnight" in my ear. And we fall asleep like that. Me in his arms, and him looking at me with those beautiful eyes. I can almost say, I love him. But there is no way I'm telling him. Haha, no.

I dream of him and I that night; it's our wedding day. And when he says I do, I can barely breathe. And I think I couldn't breathe in real life either because he woke me up in a severe panic.

"Lilly! Oh god, Lilly! Are you okay?" He says, panicking.

"Yes," I say, grabbing his head, and kissing him. Passionately, lovingly, genuinely.

"What was that for?" Derrick says, out of breath.

"I dunno. But I felt like you needed it." I lied. I needed it. But he doesn't see through me, so everything is okay.

"Well, in that case..." He grabs my head, and kisses me back. I don't want this moment to end; ever. I want him. I want him to be mine. I want to marry him so that I can have him and that he is mine. Forever.

At that moment, Justin walks in with two mugs of coffee. I have a feeling he knew what was going on in there, so he walked in to stop it from going on any further.

"Morning, sleep heads." He says, and winks at me.

"Morning." I say, blushing. Half from ebarrassment and half from pure happiness.