Sadness For Ever by Tricia Cicatrix (read me a book .txt) 📕

THE DAWN

Open your eyes with acid clairvoyance
As slippery blades slide into doughy skin
Eviscerating your favourite illusions
Making the cold creep in
An emotional forceps tears open the silence
Ice and distortion are on their way
You're back in the labyrinth, back for no reason
Fading to grey
Bloody screams slash icy dreams
You plead for some connection
Imitations pass for life
No mind and no direction
You're open to all things from outside
As soldiers force open the door
A jigsaw, a statue, a shaky construction
With bloody paths to its core

The theatre's on fire, the audience are smiling
Stroking their death wishes, stroking their stylings
Posing for photos, adjusting their hairdos
Chasing their minds, going down on their egos
Polishing hopes, chattin' and chokin'
Doped up with Lethe ever since they've awoken
Looking so fine ... looking so fine ...
Looking so fine ... looking so fine

Glare at the way they walk about
Listen to everything they don't shout
Laugh at the way they are lost in lies
Their only truth is doubt
Silence is what you are craving
Reality somewhere way down the track
But everything cracks and everything crumbles
And falls into black
The structures collapse
And the air is stony
The world turns into fog
Everything's cracked and phoney
And when the cold has conquered you
You'll still cling to the world and the day
But you'll simply turn into a puddle
And evaporate away


THURSDAY, 11.03-11.16 A.M.

There's been one word too much
The tension's been building up
A line overstepped
He knows that he's had enough
Nothing else to be done
He tells himself while remembering
Time to go - they're to blame -
Show 'em - be out of everything
He's ready to go
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
So here we go

He knows what he is
So who'd want him to stay
He's no good, got no friends
Got no hope, got no way
Worthless and wrong
Every day proves his uselessness
Sucker, loser, freak, weirdo
Scared, left out, ridiculous
He's ready to go
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
So here we go

Planning, polishing, packing
Letter to Mummy and Daddy
Sleeps well at night, it's surprising
Coffee and cereals for breakfast
Then he's off, and we're ready to go

He starts at eleven
As the room cuts his mind to bits
He's fast and he's laughing
Feels he was meant for it
The gun shouts for him as he lashes out greedily
Erasing ten years of scalding red memories
He's ready to go
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
So here we go

He blasts out their laughter
Their words and his helplessness
Conversations, advice, well-expressed uselessness
Isolation, pain, fear
Touches, rage, hopelessness
Unanswered questions
Hate in large quantities
Plus hate plus hate plus hate plus hate
Plus more than that
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
Words won't change a thing but bullets will
So here we go

He blasts out his thoughts and his feelings
Those who brought them about and those who joined in
And those who didn't bother to help him
And the one who's to blame for it all, that's, himself
And the blood covers up
Pain and rage, rooms and smells
And young lives, treasured hopes
Blackboard sounds, unused books
Peace of mind, loving hearts
Ten years' time, ten years' time
And he's gone, and they're gone
It's all gone
Things have changed


YOURS

We're here and we're talking, as good as it gets now
A drink and a smoke and another song playing
We're pinpoints of light in a fusty uncertainty
Circling, curled up in the things we are saying
You listen to me with a face I can't see through
Caress my scars, lean against me like the dark
We're moving through glue, so dazed and so tired
So wired up, so close and so far apart
Hey!
Let's go out, the streets are frothing
Life's right there, let's take a peek now
Let's outrun the clock, some time left
Let's go out, the city's waiting
Let's go out
Let's go out

There's a whole spinning world outside, man
But we're lost in rational schemes now
Chasing tomorrow, hiding in corners
Lost in work and TV and dreams now
Let's drink to delight and reconsideration
Here's to the way we talk and we wait
Here's to being foetal balls in our own frontal cortices
And we end up saying it's too late
Hey!
Let's go out, the streets are frothing
Life's right there, let's take a peek now
Let's outrun the clock, some time left
Let's go out, the city's waiting
Let's go out
Let's go out


PRIVATE HELL
(hommage to IKC ... who died years before I was born)


She reaches out for him, she can't help herself
Murmurs under her breath, puts her mind on the shelf
He's walking alone with his death up his sleeve
With his brain throwing fits, begging darkness to leave
They're defeating themselves

She battles finality, argues with pain
Puts the receiver back, peeps down the lane
He's out on his own, prowls a dark rainy street
Got a cigarette and a bottle and a throbbing back beat
They're defeating themselves

She keeps the room neat for the day that will come
Goes out for walks when her life comes undone
She keeps knocking and calling
He's out cold and he's falling
They're defeating themselves

Publication Date: 10-21-2008

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