Lucky Stiff by Craig Rice (best large ebook reader txt) 📕
This was their wedding anniversary. He couldn't even remember which one. It didn't really matter. All that mattered was the waking up every morning and seeing her long, silky hair spread out on the pillow, and her face, childlike in sleep, nestled in her arm. Coffee in the sunroom in the morning, Helene in her violet chiffon negligee, or her fluffy white robe, or her bandanna sunsuit, or, on special occasions, the blue satin house pajamas she'd been wearing the first time they met.
"Helene," he said, "every time I look at you I feel as if someone had just given my heart a hot-foot."
Her eyes warmed. "Darling," she whispered, "I didn't know you were a poet!" This time her hand reached out for his, and it wasn't icy cold.
Jake Justus, ex-reporter, ex-press agent, and, as he occasionally reminded himself, definitely ex-amateur detective, sighed again. Happily, this time. That unpleasant knot of anxiety in h
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“No,” Jake said, “but I think we will.” He turned to Lou Berg, and said, “What the hell was the idea of that telegram? ‘Do nothing till you hear from me!’ Do nothing about what?”
The ex-band leader said to Helene, “Your old man’s losing his grip. Too bad. Always hate to see a fine mind go to pieces.”
“Damn you,” Jake said indignantly, “tell me what you mean.”
“Greatest exploitation idea I ever heard of!” Lou Berg exploded. “We’ll premiere the picture in the Casino. Has a picture ever been preemed in a night club? Not that I know of.”
“What picture?” Jake said.
Lou Berg rolled his eyes and said, “Diagrams I have to draw him yet! Listen, Jake. Tomorrow morning I’m planing on to Hollywood. Already I’m wiring writers. We’ll rush into production the greatest ghost picture ever made.”
A light was beginning to dawn in Jake’s mind. “So that’s what it’s all about.”
“Modern setting. Ghost is a beautiful girl. Then we give it terrific publicity. Invitation-only premiere in the Casino, the night club where a huge audience of people once saw an actual, honest-to-God ghost! Not just one person saw the ghost, dozens did. Hundreds. First authentic case like that in history.”
He paused and looked at Jake, his eyes narrowed.
“Look, Jake. Tell me. It wasn’t all just a publicity stunt for the Casino, was it?”
Jake said, “It was not just a publicity stunt for the Casino.”
“Not that the box-office customers would care,” Berg said. “If only somebody could have gotten a picture of her. Spirit photograph, I suppose it would have to be.” He sighed. “Oh well, you can’t have everything.”
“In this set up you seem to have damn near everything,” Jake said, “except the ghost herself. How would you like to have her in the picture?”
Lou Berg said, “Are you kidding?”
“No,” Jake said. “Why shouldn’t a beautiful ghost have a screen career?”
“Jake,” Helene said, “you’re a genius!” She looked reproachfully at Lou. “And you said he was slipping.”
“I’m beginning to think he’s nuts, Lou said. “What d’ya mean, Jake? Get somebody to impersonate this ghost and try to pass it off as the real thing?”
“I mean, use the real thing,” Jake said. “As I understand it a ghost can materialize any time or anywhere it wants to. This one would probably be tickled pink to materialize in Hollywood. Maybe she can’t act, but who cares? There’s a real exploitation!”
“I’ll be damned!” Lou Berg said. He was silent for a moment. “You aren’t kidding, are you?”
“I am not,” Jake said firmly.
“How the devil do you go about getting in touch with a ghost?”
Jake said, “I imagine the thing to do would be to hang around places she seems to haunt. If that don’t work, we could always call in a medium.” He added, “If you could get her to Hollywood, you might have trouble photographing her, but—”
“I know cameramen who could photograph anything,” Lou Berg boasted. He scowled. “It’ll be a hell of a contract to draw up, but I got nothing but the best lawyers.”
Helene looked at Jake and her eyes said, “Jake, you’re wonderful and I love you!”
There was a loud knock on the door. Helene opened it apprehensively. The knock had had a familiar sound.
Von Flanagan stepped into the room and said, “Where’s Malone?”
Helene thought for approximately two seconds and then said, “In there,” pointing to the bedroom, “but you mustn’t try to wake him.”
“Wake him? What’s the matter? Is he sick?”
“He had a collapse,” Helene said very solemnly. “He didn’t get any sleep last night. He got into a fight with somebody and got all banged up.”
“Nothing serious,” Jake said. “The doctor said it was nervous exhaustion and gave him a couple of sleeping pills. I doubt if you could wake him if you tried.”
Von Flanagan opened the bedroom door, peered in at the motionless man, and closed the door softly. “Poor guy . Hope he feels O. K. How long has he been sleeping?”
Jake and Helene looked at each other, “Since—oh, I don’t know exactly,” Helene said. “It’s been a long time. You remember Lou Berg, don’t you?”
“Sure,” von Flanagan said. “Suspected him of murdering a radio producer once. Wouldn’t blame him if he had, some of the programs we hear.” He turned back to Helene and said, “Would you say Malone had been sleeping since before six o’clock?”
Helene thought, nodded, and said, “Yes, he could have been. We’ve been sitting here talking for simply ages. You know how it is—talking about old times.”
“What happened at six o’clock?” Jake said very casually.
“It was sometime between six and seven,” von Flanagan said. He mopped his brow. “Malone sprung two clients this afternoon. Two mugs that tried to put the pressure on an undertaking parlor. They left the jail with Malone.”
Helene said quickly, “He must have come directly here from getting them out of jail.”
“Go on,” Jake said.
“Well, about six o’clock somebody throws a bomb in the undertaking parlor, which catches fire and burns all to hell. Three guys are out in the alley. The owner of the joint—he ain’t hurt, just bruised—and the two mugs. One of ‘em died in the hospital, the other’s hurt bad. And no sign of Malone.”
He sighed deeply and said, “The things people do to make life hard for me!”
“A murder by bomb must be a hard problem to solve,” Helene said sympathetically.
“That ain’t it,” von Flanagan said. “One of the mugs carried a gun. They gave it back to him when he was released, he has a permit for it. Damn fools in the department didn’t check it while they had it. O.K., the gun’s on him when he’s killed, and it’s turned over to me. I send it to ballistics, and what do I find?”
“All right,” Helene said, “what do you find?”
“It’s the gun that killed Jesse Conway, and Garrity, and the Dale girl,” von Flanagan said, his face beginning to turn purple. “And now the guy’s gone ahead and died in the hospital, and I can’t even question him!”
“That is too bad,” Jake said.
“It’s too bad,” von Flanagan said, “but it ain’t the worst of it. At the time the Dale girl was killed the guy was in the jail and so was the gun that killed her.” He glared at the three people in the room as though it were in some way their fault. “It’s not only too bad,” he repeated in a roar, “it’s impossible!”
Malone waited till the murmur of voices ceased and the door to the corridor closed. He waited until, from far down the hall, he heard the elevator door clang. Then he waited ten minutes more, just to be on the safe side.
He sat up experimentally. Then he swung his short, hairy legs over the side of the bed. Finally he stood up and took two steps.
No doubt about it, he felt fine.
He felt under his pillow for the two capsules, and considered leaving them on the table with a caustic note. His feeling of resentment returned in full force. No, he’d drop them down a drain, and let Jake and Helene be mystified about how he could have gotten up, dressed, and gone out with a double dose of sedative in his system.
He wrapped Jake’s bathrobe around him and went out to the kitchen, the robe trailing on the floor. He filled the coffee pot with water, put in a double measure of coffee, and put the pot on to boil. Then he returned to the bedroom to dress while it was cooking.
A lot of cold water on his face made him feel even better. He examined his clothes and made up his mind that when he located the man who’d thrown the bomb, he would stick him for the price of a new Finchley suit and a Sulka tie. But these would have to do until he could get back to his hotel and change into something else.
While he dressed he thought over von Flanagan’s revelation. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened. The man who had thrown the bomb, or had arranged for it to be thrown, had decided to kill two birds with one bomb. Get rid of a troublesome individual—whether himself, or Perez, or Wilks—and plant responsibility for the three murders.
It might have worked, too; if the bomb thrower hadn’t overlooked—or hadn’t known—the fact that at the time Milly Dale was murdered, both Louis Perez and his gun had been safely in jail.
Save for that, it would have been a simple matter to race into the alley after the explosion and switch guns on a dead, or dying, man. Probably making sure, at the time, that he was dead or dying.
Malone scowled. He remembered the footsteps in the alley at the time he was lying, half dazed and stunned, on the pavement. That’s when it must have happened. If he’d only opened his eyes—
If he had, he might not be here now.
Rico may have seen the man. No, Rico would have told him. And if the man had thought that Rico had seen him, Rico would be dead now, too. The murderer made some foolish mistakes, but they weren’t due to squeamishness about multiple killings.
Not that it mattered any more whether Rico had seen him or not. Malone didn’t need to be told, now.
The coffee was done by the time he’d finished dressing. He sat out in the kitchenette and drank every drop of it.
He borrowed a topcoat of Jake’s. It came nearly to his ankles, but it hid his tattered clothes. He pulled his hat brim over his black eye, and went down the freight elevator.
Out on the sidewalk he stood for a moment, deciding on his next move. He didn’t want to talk to von Flanagan on the telephone, but something had to be done about that gun. And he had a hunch he was going to need von Flanagan’s help before the night was over.
He walked over to State Street and headed south until he reached a Western Union office, where he wrote a telegram to von Flanagan.
CHECK OWNERSHIP
GUN PLANTED ON LOUIS PEREZ.
THIS IS URGENT.
MALONE
To be on the safe side, he sent it both to von Flanagan’s office and to his home.
Maggie always got the address and phone number of everyone who ever visited the little lawyer’s office, and she kept a spare notebook of them at her home, for just such emergencies. Malone stopped in a corner cigar store, called Maggie, and got Al Harmon’s number. Then he called Al Harmon.
“Jeez,” Al Harmon said, “I thought you were dead, pal. I thought you’d been blown into such small pieces they couldn’t find a trace of you in the ruins.”
“I was,” Malone said, “but I pulled myself together. Can you meet me in my office in ten minutes?”
“I’ve got a date with a blonde,” Harmon began.
“This is urgent.” He hung up.
He called a cab and reached the office ahead of Harmon. While he waited he called Eva Childers.
“I just may be on the trail of something,” he told her very casually. “Can you tell me the name of your late husband’s doctor?”
She hesitated a moment. “Why? Is it important?”
“It may be,” Malone said.
“Well—it was Dr. Fitzgerald. Why do you want to know?”
“I’ll tell you,” Malone said, “when I tell you who hired your husband’s murderer.” He hung up and waited for Al Harmon, deep in his thoughts and not happy with them at all.
Al
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