South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) by Norman Douglas (novels for students TXT) π
The Bishop Was Feeling Rather Sea-Sick. Confoundedly Sea-Sick, In Fact.
This Annoyed Him. For He Disapproved Of Sickness In Every Shape Or
Form. His Own State Of Body Was Far From Satisfactory At That Moment;
Africa--He Was Bishop Of Bampopo In The Equatorial Regions--Had Played
The Devil With His Lower Gastric Department And Made Him Almost An
Invalid; A Circumstance Of Which He Was Nowise Proud, Seeing That
Ill-Health Led To Inefficiency In All Walks Of Life. There Was Nothing
He Despised More Than Inefficiency. Well Or Ill, He Always Insisted On
Getting Through His Tasks In A Businesslike Fashion. That Was The Way
To Live, He Used To Say. Get Through With It. Be Perfect Of Your Kind,
Whatever That Kind May Be. Hence His Sneaking Fondness For The
Natives--They Were Such Fine, Healthy Animals.
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- Author: Norman Douglas
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Under The Seal Of Secrecy.
Mr. Samuel, A Commercial Gentleman Who Had Got Stuck Somehow Or Other
At The Alpha And Omega Club, Cast A Practised Eye Over The Wines,
Chaud-Froids, Fruits, Salads, Ices, The Lanterns And Other Joys Of The
Evening And Announced, After A Rough Computation, That Keith's Outlay
For That Little Show Must Have Run Well Into Three Figures. Mr. White
Agreed, Adding That It Did One Good To Get A Mouthful Of Drinkable Fizz
After Parker's Poison.
"Ah, But You Ought To Try The Punch."
"Come On Then," Said White.
They Moved Away And Soon Stumbled Upon A Cluster Of Bibulous Mortals In
Their Element. Miss Wilberforce Was There. She Liked To Linger Near The
Fountain-Head; The Fountain-Head, On This Occasion, Being A Cyclopean
Bowl Of Iced Punch. The Lady Was In Grand Condition; Festive, Playful,
Positively Flirtatious. She Nibbled, Between Her Libations, At A
Savoury Biscuit (She Hated Solid Food, As A Rule) In Order, She Said,
To Staunch Her Thirst; She Told Everybody That It Was Her Birthday.
Yes, Her Birthday! In Fact, She Was Quite A Different Creature From The
Bashful Visitor At The Duchess's Entertainment; She Was Hardly Shy At
All.
"Punch And Moonlight!" She Was Saying. "It's All As Right As
Rain--Birthday Or No Birthday."
Miss Wilberforce Had About Forty Birthdays In The Year, Each Of Them
Due To Be Worthily Celebrated Like This One.
It Was A Sad And Scandalous Business. Better Things Might Have Been
Expected Of Her. She Was So Obviously A Lady. She Had Been So Nicely
Brought Up. While There Was Still An English Church On The Island, She
Never Failed To Attend Divine Service, Despite Her Sunday Headache. She
Was Often The Only Member Of The Congregation--She And Mr. Freddy
Parker, Whose Official Dignity And English Origin, However Questionable
His Christianity, Constrained Him To Put In An Appearance. Mortal
Enemies, They Used To Sit On Opposite Pews, Glaring Across The Vacant
Building To See If They Could Catch Each Other Asleep, Responding At
Irregular Intervals Out Of Sheer Cussedness, And Trying Vainly To Feel
More Charitable During Those Moments When The Scraggy Young
Curate--Generally Some Social Failure Who Raked Together A Few Pounds
From These Hazardous Continental Engagements--Recited The Gospel
According To Saint John. Those Days Were Over. She Was Definitely On
The Downward Grade. Three Members Of The Club And Two Russian Apostles
Were Even Then Engaged In Tossing Up Who Should Have The Privilege Of
Seeing Her Home. The Lot Fell To Mr. Richards, The Excellent
Vice-President, An Elderly Gentleman Whose Carefully Parted Hair And
Flowing Beard Made Him The Very Picture Of Respectability. To Look At
Him, One Would Have Said That The Dear Lady Could Not Be In Better
Hands.
Mr. Keith Was A Perfect Host. He Had The Right Word For Everybody; His
Infectious Conviviality Made Them All Straightway At Their Ease. The
Overdressed Native Ladies, The Priests And Officials Moving About In
Prim Little Circles, Were Charmed With His Affable Manner "So Different
From Most Englishmen"; Likewise That Flock Of Gleeful Tourists Who Had
Suddenly Turned Up, Craving For Admission Without A Single Letter Of
Introduction Between Them, And Were Forthwith Welcomed On The Strength
Of The Fact That One Of Their Party Had Been To Easter Island. Even The
Parroco Could Not Help Laughing As Keith, With Irresistible Good
Nature, Seized Him By The Arm And Thrust A Marron Glace Between His
Lips. An Ideal Host! The "Falernian System" Was In Abeyance That Day.
It Was The One Evening In The Year When, In The Interests Of His
Guests, He Could Be Relied Upon To Remain Absolutely Sober To The Last
Moment; A State Of Affairs Which Doubtless Had Its Drawbacks, Seeing
That It Made Him, In Longer Conversational Efforts, Rather More
Abstruse And Unintelligible Than Usual--"Blind Sober," As Don Francesco
Once Said. Even Sobriety Was Forgiven Him. He Took The Precaution, Of
Course, To Keep The House Locked And To Replace His Ordinary Services
Of Plate By Elkington; People Being Pardonably Fond Of Carrying Away
Memories Of So Enjoyable An Evening. Bottles, Plates, And Glasses Were
Smashed By The Dozen. He Liked To See Them Smashed. It Proved That
Everybody Was Having A Good Time.
A Person Unacquainted With Keith's Nature Could Never Have Guessed What
A Sacrifice This Entertainment Was To Him. He Was An Egoist, A
Solitary, In His Pleasures; He Used To Contend That No Garden On Earth,
However Spacious, Was Large Enough For More Than One Man. And This
Little Nepenthe Domain, Though He Saw It For Only A Few Weeks In The
Year, Was The Apple Of His Eye. He Guarded It Jealously, Troubled At
The Thought That Its Chaste Recesses Might Be Profaned, If But For One
Day, By The Presence Of A Motley Assemblage Of Nonentities. But A Man
Of His Income Is Expected To Do Something To Amuse His
Fellow-Creatures. One Owes Certain Duties To Society. Hence This
Gathering, Which Had Become A Regular Feature In The Spring Calendar Of
The Island. Having Once Decided On The Step, He Did Not Propose To Be
Bound By Conventionalities Which Were The Poison Of Rational Human
Intercourse. Unlike The Duchess And Mr. Parker, He Refused To Draw The
Line At Russians; The Club, Too, Was Represented By Some Of Its Most
Characteristic Members. He Often Descanted On The Social Intolerance Of
Men, Their Lack Of Graciousness And Generous Instincts; He Would Have
Made Room For The Devil Himself--At All Events In His "Outer Circle."
Such Being The Case, It Stands To Reason That He Did Not Draw The Line
At Freethinkers. It Was Sometimes Rather Hard To Know Where He Did Draw
The Line.
The Red-Haired Judge, With Straw Hat And Mephistophelean Limp, Was
There, Looking Like An Offenbach Villain Out For A Spree. After Being
Effusively Greeted By The Host--They Understood One Another
Perfectly--And Forced To Eat A Quantity Of Some Pink-Looking Stuff Which
He Could Not Resist Although Knowing It Would Disagree With Him, His
Worship, Left To His Own Devices, Hobbled Along In Pursuit Of His New
Friend Muhlen. He Found Him, And Was Soon Relating Succulent Anecdotes
Of His Summer Holidays--Anecdotes, All About Women, Which Muhlen Tried
To Cap With Experiences Of His Own. The Judge Always Went To The Same
Place--Salsomaggiore, A Thermal Station Whose Waters Were Good For His
Sore Legs. He Described To Muhlen How, In Jaunty Clothes And Shining
Shoes, He Pottered About Its Trim Gardens, Ogling The Ladies Who Always
Ogled Back; It Was The Best Fun In The World, And Sometimes--! Mr.
Malipizzo, For All His Incredible Repulsiveness, Posed As An Ardent And
Successful Lover Of Women. No Doubt It Cost Money. But He Was Never At
A Loss For That Commodity; He Had Other Sources Of Revenue, He Hinted,
Besides His Wretched Official Salary.
Wandering Along Arm In Arm, They Passed Various Contingents Of The
Russians, Male And Female, Whose Scarlet Blouses Shone Brightly Under
The Variegated Globes Of Light. These Exotics Were Happy As Children,
Full Of Fun And Laughter; None More So Than The Young Giant
Krasnojabkin, Whose Name Had Been Coupled By Scandalmongers With That
Of Madame Steynlin. An Admiring Audience Had Gathered Around Him While
He Performed A Frenzied Cancan In An Open Moonlit Space; He Always
Danced When He Had Enough To Drink. The Judge Looked On With Envy. It
Sickened Him To Realize That Those Far-Famed Luncheons And Dinners Of
Madame Steynlin Were Being Devoured By A Savage Like This. And The
Money He Doubtless Extracted From Her! Presently A Loud Guffaw From
Some Bosky Thicket Announced That The Friends Had Been Joined By The
Financial Commissioner For Nicaragua. The Trinity Was Complete. They
Were Always Together, Those Three, Playing Cards At The Club Or Sipping
Lemonade And Vermouth On The Terrace.
"Oh, Mr. Keith," Said The Duchess In Her Sweetest Accents, "Do You Know
Of What This Entertainment Makes Me Think?"
"Shall I Guess?"
"Nothing Of The Kind! It Makes Me Think That It Is Very, Very Wrong Of
A Man Like You To Be A Bachelor. You Want A Wife."
"To Want A Wife, Duchess, Is Better Than To Need One. Especially If It
Happens To Be Only Your Neighbour's."
"I Am Sure That Means Something Dreadful!"
Don Francesco Broke In:
"Tell Me, Keith, How About Your Wives? What Have You Done With Them? Is
It True That You Sold Them At Various Oriental Ports?"
"They Got Mislaid Somehow. All That Was Before My Great Renunciation."
"Is It True That You Kept Them Locked Up In Different Parts Of London?"
"I Made It A Rule Never To Introduce My Lady-Friends To One Another.
They Are So Fond Of Comparing Notes. Novelists Try To Make Us Believe
That Women Delight In Men's Society. Rubbish! They Prefer That Of Their
Own Sex. But Please Didn't Refer To The Same Painful Period Of My
Life."
The Priest Insisted:
"Is It True That You Gave The Plumpest Of Them To The Sultan Of
Colambang In Exchange For The Recipe Of Some Wonderful Sauce? Is It
True That You Used To Be Known As The Lightning Lover? Is It True That
You Used To Say, In Your London Days, That No Season Was Complete
Without A Ruined Home?"
"She Exaggerates A Good Deal, That Lady."
"Is It True That You Once Got So Drunk That You Mistook One Of Those
Red-Coated Chelsea Pensioners For A Pillar-Box And Tried To Post A
Letter In His Stomach?"
"I'm Very Short-Sighted, Don Francesco. Besides, All That Was In A
Previous Incarnation. Do Come And Listen To The Music! May I Offer You
My Arm, Duchess? I Have A Surprise For You."
"You Have A Surprise For Us Every Year, You Bad Man," She Said. "Now Do
Try And See If You Can't Get Married. It Makes One Feel So Good."
Keith Had A Peculiar Habit Of Vanishing For A Day Or Two To The
Mainland, And Returning With Some Rare Orchid From The Hills, A Piece
Of Greek Statuary, A New Gardener, Or Something. Sowing His Wild Oats,
He Called It. During This Last Visit He Had Come Across The Tracks Of
An Almost Extinct Tribe Of Gipsies That Roamed Up And Down The Glens Of
Those Mysterious Mountains Whose Purple Summits Were Visible, On Clear
Days, From His Own Windows. After Complex And Costly Negotiations They
Had Allowed Themselves To Be Embarked, For This One Night Only, In A
Capacious Sailing Boat To Nepenthe, In Order To Pleasure Mr. Keith's
Guests. And Here They Sat, Huddled Together In Dignified Repose And
Abashed, As It Seemed, By The Strangeness Of Their Surroundings; A
Bizarre Group Stained To An Almost Negro Tint By Exposure To Sun And
Winds And Rain.
Here They Sat--Gnarled Old Men And Sinewy Fathers Of Families, With
Streaming Black Hair, Golden Earrings, Hooded Cloaks Of Wood And
Sandals Bound With Leathern Thongs. Mothers Were There, Shapeless
Bundles Of Rags, Nursing Infants At The Breast. The Girls Were Draped
In Gaudy Hues, And Ablaze With Metal Charms And Ornaments On Forehead
And Arms And Ankles. They Showed Their Flashing Teeth And Smiled From
Time To Time In Frank Wonder, Whereas The Boys, Superbly Savage, Like
Young Panthers Caught In A Trap, Kept Their Eyes Downcast Or Threw
Distrustful, Defiant Glances Round Them. Here They Sat In Silence,
Smoking Tobacco And Taking Deep Draughts Out Of A Pitcher Of Milk Which
Was Handed Round From One To The Other. Occasionally The Older People
Would Pick Up Their Instruments--Bagpipes Of Sheepskin, Small Drums And
Gourd-Like Mandolines--And Draw From Them Strange Dronings, Gurglings,
Thrummings, Twangings; Soon A Group Of Youngsters Would Rise Gravely
From The Ground And, Without Any Preconcerted Signal, Begin To Move In
A Dance--A Formal And Intricate Measure, Such As Had Never Yet Been
Witnessed On Nepenthe.
Something Inhuman And Yet Troublingly Personal Lay In The Performance;
It Invaded The Onlookers With A Sense Of Disquietude. There Was
Primeval Ecstasy In Those Strains And Gestures. Giant Moths, Meanwhile,
Fluttered Overhead, Rattling Their Frail Wings Against The Framework Of
The Paper Lanterns; The South Wind Passed Through The Garden Like The
Breath Of A Friend, Bearing The Aromatic Burden Of A Thousand
Night-Blooming Shrubs And Flowers. Young People, Meeting Here, Would
Greet One Another Shyly, With Unfamiliar Ceremoniousness, And Then,
After Listening Awhile To The Music And Exchanging A Few Awkward
Phrases, Wander Away As If By Common Consent--Further Away From This
Crowd And Garish Brilliance, Far Away, Into Some Fragrant Cell, Where
The Light Was Dim.
"What Do You Make Of It?" Asked Keith Of Madame Steynlin, Who Was
Listening Intently. "Is This Music? If So, I Begin To Understand Its
Laws. They Are Physical. I Seem To Feel The Effect Of It In The Lower
Part Of My Chest. Perhaps That Is The Region Which Musical People Call
Their Ear. Tell Me, Madame Steynlin, What Is Music?"
"That's A Puzzle," Said The Bishop, Greatly Interested.
"How Can I Explain It To You? It Is So Complicated, And You Have So
Many Guests This Evening. You Are Coming To My Picnic After The
Festival Of Saint Eulalia? Yes? Well, I
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