Marianne by Elizabeth Hammer (best books to read in life TXT) 📕

Marianne shut her eyes tight and hit send.

“Hey, look,” said Georgia. “It’s twelve o’clock on the nose.”

Marianne opened her eyes and glanced at the clock. Amazing. She smiled and took it as a sign. “Okay then,” she said. “One per hour.”

One o’clock:

They had quite a list going. Sally was the secretary, Georgia the idea girl, Danielle the nay-sayer, and Mom the encourager. Nana just kept the coffee cups refilled.

“Geez. I get it, Dan,” said Marianne. “I know it’s not a true confession, but it’s an admission. The most important one. He needs to hear me say it.”

“Fine,” said Danielle. “This really is going to take fifty years.”

Marianne rolled her eyes and sent her one o’clock message:

The second thing I’d like to tell you is: I’m a liar. You know that already, but it had to be said.

Two o’clock:

Marianne sat on the floor of the living room with all the girls, hands shaking like crazy. “No, it’s okay,” she said, trying to type. “I can do it. This is just a bit harder than I thought it would be.”

Georgia nodded. “Yeah. This one is really gonna freak him out.”

Marianne looked up. “You think?”

“Of course, it will,” said Danielle. “But that’s the point, right? If you’re going to wuss out and not confess the hard stuff, then you might as well quit.”

Marianne nodded. “You’re right.” She hit send.

I threw up in the ladies’ restroom on our first date.

“Oh, crap!” wailed Marianne. “What did I just do?” She slammed the phone shut and chucked it across the room. “He’s going to think I’m such a freak! What if all this just pisses him off more? What if…” Marianne trailed off in horror.

“What?” said Sally.

“What if he’s with Brook?” whined Marianne. “What if he shows her? What if they’re laughing at me right now?”

“Marianne!” said Mom. “Pull yourself together.”

Marianne stopped trying to tug out her hair and nodded.

“This was the plan, right?” said Mom. “You knew the risks. You knew it would be embarrassing. You knew you would regret it at some point.”

“Yeah,” said Marianne. “Yeah.”

“Just breathe,” said Mom. “I mean, he already knows you’re a fool. What’s the big deal?”

Marianne whimpered and collapsed on the rug.

Three o’clock:

Marianne’s phone alarm beeped to wake her. This was unnecessary, as she was still lying awake in the dark. She checked Sally’s list, typed out her message, and closed her eyes. “Oh, baby,” she mouthed, hugging the phone to her chest. “I’m so sorry for all this. Never again.”

I got drunk for the first time in my life during your second trip to Monterey.

Four o’clock:

Marianne sat on the front porch in Dad’s bathrobe listening to the gentle hiss of the city waking. She still had not slept.

Sometimes I smoke cigarettes, e.g., when I first told you that I loved you and right now.

She hit send and lit another clove. “Lovely,” she said to herself. “This whole thing is just fracking lovely.” Seriously, who comes up with crap like this and actually does it? “Crazy ole bitches, that’s who,” she sang.

Okay. She was making up rap melodies, now. Time for bed.

Five o’clock:

Wake up. Type. Sit up and blink a bit. Check for typos.

I almost got arrested at the beach for having pot in my backpack. That’s how I lost my phone.

Send. Back to sleep.

Six o’clock:

A guy named Ben tried to kiss me at the beach. Well, he actually did kiss me, but I didn’t kiss him back.

Seven o’clock:

I got drunk at that beach party, too. It was a bad night.

Eight o’clock:

If Marianne had any pride left, this text demolished it.

I’m crazy jealous of Brook—that she’s pretty—that she’s always nice—that she was pregnant with your baby—Everything.

She flopped back down onto her sleeping bag. “Nana?” Everyone else was in the kitchen fighting over who messed up the math on the coffee grounds and how the pot could be salvaged.

“Yes, darling?”

“I have a stomachache.”

“We all do, honey,” said Nana, patting Marianne on the knee.

“Dan was right,” said Marianne. “This is going to take fifty years. I don’t think I can keep it up that long, though.”

Mom laughed as she walked into the room.

“I’m serious!” Marianne sat up and stared at the ceiling. “How long should I do this? We’ve got that list, but when is enough enough?”

Sally shuffled into the room, blowing on her coffee. “I was thinking about that,” she said, handing another cup to Marianne. “You started at midnight, so how about you keep going till midnight?”

Marianne made a face. “That sounds like a cheesy movie plot.”

Sally raised her eyebrows. “I think you have to admit that we’re already there, babe.”

Marianne nodded. “And then?”

Sally shrugged.

Danielle sighed from the doorway. “Do I have to do everything around here?” She took a sip from her mug. “Then you meet him. You ask him to meet you at midnight and make up his frigging mind.”

Marianne wrapped her arms around the ache in her stomach. “I thought you said he’d already made up his mind.”

“No,” said Danielle. “I said he’d say no. It’s not quite the same thing.”

Marianne nodded. “Okay. I guess I could do that. Should I meet him here?”

“Oh, my gosh!” shouted Georgia, running flat out from the kitchen, sloshing coffee all over the floor. “I’ve got it!”

Danielle spun around. “You are such a spazz, kid.”

“I know, I know,” said Georgia, panting. “But listen… Don’t text him anything about how you’ve been dressing Goth. Save that, and then meet him outside of Disneyland tonight after Bats Day. All dressed up. It’ll be this huge, amazing reveal!”

Marianne stood up, horrified. “That is the worst, most appalling and humiliating idea I have ever heard.”

“Yes, it is,” said Danielle, smiling. “It’s perfect.”

“No!” shouted Marianne.

Sally was grinning. “Come on, Marianne. That would be pretty rad, admit it.”

Marianne just shook her head, feeling the entire universe collapsing down around her. She turned to Mom for an ally. “Please. No. Please.”

Mom shrugged. “It does kind of fit with this whole honesty