Mister West by R.J. Lewis (animal farm read .TXT) 📕

coursing through my body as I cry out, “Listen to yourself, Steven. He loved me. Loved. As in past tense. I don’t think you understand what it’s like trying to process the fact that the love of your life, the man you stupidly pushed away, that you would do anything to have back, is gone!”

I can’t just waltz back into Aidan’s life. I’m not strong enough to look him in the eyes and see nothing there. I can’t. How am I supposed to live through that sort of grief?

I collapse back into the armchair and shut my eyes. I shouldn’t have gone in the first place.

“You have to understand if she doesn’t want to go,” Ana speaks concernedly. “This could destroy her.”

“I do understand,” Steven replies sympathetically. “Ivy, you don’t need to explain yourself if you can’t do this.”

“Where would she even go?” Ana asks now. “Is he here? Has he been here this entire time?”

“No, she would need to travel.”

“She’s got work.”

“I know. I would pay for all the expenses. This wouldn’t be for free.”

“I doubt she cares about taking your money. I’m only saying she’s got a job here and a life here.”

“I only meant I’d help take care of everything so she had nothing to worry about.”

I can’t do this.

I’m not strong enough.

He’s forgotten about me.

Just like that I’ve been unwritten. I’m nothing to him. There is nothing left of me in him. I can feel the tears coming. I’ve done so well holding them in. I swallow hard, burying my face in my hands. Just this morning I was heartbroken, and now I’m heartbroken in an entirely new way.

Fate is cruel.

“Where is he then?” Ana continues as I ravage myself internally. “On some beach in Cuba?”

“No,” Steven answers. “He is by a beach, but not the kind you’re thinking of.”

“Where?”

“For some reason he’s hiding out on Vancouver Island.”

“But why there?”

“I have no idea. He bought this giant Georgian house on a bit of land, a small walk away from a pebbled beach.”

Oh, my God.

Shock runs through me. It’s a cold, jolt of a feeling. I drop my hands, eyes wide, my brain running through my memories, of me standing along the Rideau Canal, of Aidan looking down at me as I told him what home looked like. We’d talked about freedom. I remember his answer.

“I’m living it, Ivy. It was a second chance at life, at not being shackled to the past, to my mistakes. Sometimes…it catches up to me, certain things I try to let go, but…I’m looking ahead. You have to keep looking ahead.”

My heart opens as I let the hope in. He told me what freedom was like. He needs to learn it again.

He’s in a home I wanted. A home that is exactly how I pictured myself living in. I had told him this.

I’m in there somewhere. This is proof of it.

“Okay,” I whisper determinedly. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Steven and Ana pause and turn to me. They’re surprised. I am, too.

I look at them, standing up slowly. “I’ll go to him. I’ll try to bring him back. But first you gotta tell me something.”

“What?” Steven asks.

“Is my butt big enough?”

Thirty-Four

Ivy

Ana: I miss you already. Call me every day, twice a day, or as many times as you need. I’m here for you. I can’t believe you’re doing this, but I think Steven is right. I think this will help Aidan. Who knows? Maybe he will take one look at you and remember everything. Sort of like those movies, right? He’ll get a flashback of everything. And if not, he will fall madly in love with you all over again, like he did the first time. You guys have had a romantic story this far. I can’t see this not being a possible outcome.

I re-read Ana’s message, feeling hopeful, and scared.

I look out the window. It’s rainy and misty out. The drive has been long from Victoria. Surrounded by the most picturesque scenery, we’ve been taking winding roads for ages now. It has been so long since I’ve breathed this island’s air. I feel so much nostalgia of my time here when I was sixteen, but it’s not as strong as the panic and nerves coursing through me.

My knee is bopping up and down. I look over my clothes again. I want to look my best. I’m in a blue flowery dress with pretty gold sandals. It’s not personal assistant clothes, I know, but I figure it’s going to make a good impression.

Personal assistant. I want to laugh. I don’t know what the hell I’ll be doing. Steven hired me on behalf of Aidan and gave me a list of shit to do. I’m supposed to look after Aidan and all his needs, whatever that may entail. I’m going to have to actually work under him and get paid for it. Part of me hopes he’ll know who I am instantly. Maybe he’ll have gotten flashes of me in his memory and, like Ana said, it’ll hit him.

The taxi begins to slow down. The driver peers out of his window, carefully watching every home that goes by. I think he’s checking the address. These homes are very spaced apart and huge. Mansion sort of huge with huge bits of land in front of them. He continues for a long time, until the gaps between homes gets bigger and bigger, and now they’re backing onto moss covered forest land.

He slows down completely in front of big, black iron gates that are spread open and turns in. My heart jumps because it means we’re here. I look ahead at the road leading up to the white and tan brick and stone home. This place is huge. Bigger than I had ever fantasized myself being in, but it has all the signature makings of a Georgian home: the matching chimneys, squared symmetrical dimensions, white entrance columns and panelled windows.

I clasp my hands together tightly. My brain goes blank. I’m