The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope (the kiss of deception read online txt) 📕

him that this or that other compeer of his own had proved himself to be self-interested, false, or fraudulent. “Don’t tell me, Butterwell,” he would say⁠—for with Mr. Butterwell he maintained some semiofficial intimacy, and he would take that gentleman by the buttonhole, holding him close. “Don’t tell me. I know what men are. I’ve seen the world. I’ve been looking at things with my eyes open. I knew what he was doing.” And then he would tell of the sly deed of some official known well to them both, not denouncing it by any means, but affecting to take it for granted that the man in question was a rogue. Butterwell would shrug his shoulders, and laugh gently, and say that, upon his word, he didn’t think the world so bad as Fiasco made it out to be.

Nor did he; for Butterwell believed in many things. He believed in his Putney villa on this earth, and he believed also that he might achieve some sort of Putney villa in the world beyond without undergoing present martyrdom. His Putney villa first, with all its attendant comforts, and then his duty to the public afterwards. It was thus that Mr. Butterwell regulated his conduct; and as he was solicitous that the villa should be as comfortable a home to his wife as to himself, and that it should be specially comfortable to his friends, I do not think that we need quarrel with his creed.

Mr. Optimist believed in everything, but especially he believed in the Prime Minister, in the Daily Jupiter, in the General Committee Office, and in himself. He had long thought that everything was nearly right; but now that he himself was chairman at the General Committee Office, he was quite sure that everything must be right. In Sir Raffle Buffle, indeed, he had never believed; and now it was, perhaps, the greatest joy of his life that he should never again be called upon to hear the tones of that terrible knight’s hated voice.

Seeing who were the components of the new Board, it may be presumed that Crosbie would look forward to enjoying a not uninfluential position in his office. There were, indeed, some among the clerks who did not hesitate to say that the new secretary would have it pretty nearly all his own way. As for “Old Opt,” there would be, they said, no difficulty about him. Only tell him that such and such a decision was his own, and he would be sure to believe the teller. Butterwell was not fond of work, and had been accustomed to lean upon Crosbie for many years. As for Fiasco, he would be cynical in words, but wholly indifferent in deed. If the whole office were made to go to the mischief, Fiasco, in his own grim way, would enjoy the confusion.

“Wish you joy, Crosbie,” said Sir Raffle, standing up on the rug, waiting for the new secretary to go up to him and shake hands. But Sir Raffle was going, and the new secretary did not indulge him.

“Thank ye, Sir Raffle,” said Crosbie, without going near the rug.

“Mr. Crosbie, I congratulate you most sincerely,” said Mr. Optimist. “Your promotion has been the result altogether of your own merit. You have been selected for the high office which you are now called upon to fill solely because it has been thought that you are the most fit man to perform the onerous duties attached to it. Hum⁠—h-m⁠—ha. As regards my share in the recommendation which we found ourselves bound to submit to the Treasury, I must say that I never felt less hesitation in my life, and I believe I may declare as much as regards the other members of the Board.” And Mr. Optimist looked around him for approving words. He had come forward from his standing ground behind his chair to welcome Crosbie, and had shaken his hand cordially. Fiasco also had risen from his seat, and had assured Crosbie in a whisper that he had feathered his nest uncommon well. Then he had sat down again.

“Indeed you may, as far as I am concerned,” said Butterwell.

“I told the Chancellor of the Exchequer,” said Sir Raffle, speaking very loud and with much authority, “that unless he had some first-rate man to send from elsewhere I could name a fitting candidate. ‘Sir Raffle,’ he said, ‘I mean to keep it in the office, and therefore shall be glad of your opinion.’ ‘In that case, Mr. Chancellor,’ said I, ‘Mr. Crosbie must be the man.’ ‘Mr. Crosbie shall be the man,’ said the Chancellor. And Mr. Crosbie is the man.”

“Your friend Sark spoke to Lord Brock about it,” said Fiasco. Now the Earl of Sark was a young nobleman of much influence at the present moment, and Lord Brock was the Prime Minister. “You should thank Lord Sark.”

“Had as much to do with it as if my footman had spoken,” said Sir Raffle.

“I am very much obliged to the Board for their good opinion,” said Crosbie, gravely. “I am obliged to Lord Sark as well⁠—and also to your footman, Sir Raffle, if, as you seem to say, he has interested himself in my favour.”

“I didn’t say anything of the kind,” said Sir Raffle. “I thought it right to make you understand that it was my opinion, given, of course, officially, which prevailed with the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Well, gentlemen, as I shall be wanted in the city, I will say good morning to you. Is my carriage ready, Boggs?” Upon which the attendant messenger opened the door, and the great Sir Raffle Buffle took his final departure from the scene of his former labours.

“As to the duties of your new office”⁠—and Mr. Optimist continued his speech, taking no other notice of the departure of his enemy than what was indicated by an increased brightness of his eye and a more satisfactory tone of voice⁠—“you will find yourself quite familiar with them.”

“Indeed he will,” said Butterwell.

“And I am quite sure that you will perform them with equal credit