Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (highly recommended books .txt) 📕

crash of magical thunder, but the magic of the home somehow contained the maelstrom, giving the appearance of a thunderhead building up above. A neighbor four houses down was out mowing, oblivious to the magical battle nearby.

“The perimeter is clear,” Sebastien told the snake riding his shoulder, his words magically reaching Kali’s ears. He was over by the garage, crouched out of sight. It was difficult to maintain a consciousness that permeated so many beings, but the spirits around her neck were helping her. The large python near her feet kept watch on her physical body, making certain she wouldn’t be interrupted. Another distraction during the dangerous part of the spell could finish her off, and she intended to live until tomorrow.

Behind her, in the bushes, another Sebastien waited. In case the snakes failed, it was his job to protect Kali long enough to finish her spell or escape.

The snakes hissed as the front door of the house opened. Through their eyes, she saw Mike Radley emerge, a ridiculous pair of goggles on his head. He stood at the top of the stairs, weird lenses sliding back and forth across his eyes. He waved his hands in the air. The spectral trail of his fingers activated floating runes, symbols that danced away from him and sunk into the ground, vanishing from sight.

The snakes gathered at the foot of the steps, hissing. Kali sensed their anger at the magical barrier that prevented them from swarming the house and attacking her enemies. Once the geas was broken, she intended to send them in to incapacitate the occupants of the home with their venomous fangs.

She would let the high priest decide what to do with the occupants of the home. She shouted into the sky with one of her many voices, causing thunder to answer her. The light rain whipped itself into circles, but Kali knew better than to flood out the home—she feared giving the nymph any more water to work her magic on.

The snakes slithered across each other, bouncing off the barrier on the steps. A large figure stepped in front of Mike, gazing across the yard. Kali couldn’t see who it was at first, but with another crack in the geas, the woman came into focus. Nearly eight feet tall with a single eye, the cyclops swung a blade that unfolded itself. In disbelief, Kali watched the cyclops step into the yard and casually behead the snakes closest to her without even looking, the blade whipping about and catching them midstrike.

The swarm moved toward her, and her movements became a dance, her eye glowing with its own inner light. Mike followed close behind, and no matter how many snakes moved toward her, she always pushed Mike out of their way, her sharp blade bringing a quick end to the slithering beasts.

Kali’s face twisted in concentration, and she pumped energy into the storm up above.

The blast of lightning blinded her, even through her closed eyes. When her vision cleared, she saw that the bolt had scorched a large mark in the yard, burning snake and grass alike.

Several yards away, Mike stood in the open, his fingers making more trails of light in the air.

“How?” she demanded of the storm, grabbing one of the heads on her necklace. How had they been fast enough to dodge a bolt of lightning? It made no sense. She summoned the Iwa hidden within the skin pouch, a spirit being made of teeth and fangs, then hurled it at her prey with the mental command to attack.

The Iwa’s spherical body expanded as it flew through the air until it was roughly the size and shape of a rottweiler. It opened its mouth wide, revealing fangs like a sinister Pac-Man, and reached forward with claws that were tipped with inch-long talons. The cyclops placed herself between Mike and the Iwa, killing a couple more snakes before raising her blade defensively. The snakes were closing in, hissing in anger, and the Iwa let out a high-pitched shriek as it closed the distance between itself and Mike.

A rock struck Kali in the shoulder. Growling, she turned her attention back to the house. Beth, the estate agent, stood on the stairs, but something was wrong. Her eyes were the inky black of a moonless night, and the large stones below the porch were levitating into the air, then flinging themselves. A goblin jumped the railing behind her, moving left and toward the garage that sat slightly behind the main house.

“Keep going,” Sebastien said, placing two of himself between Kali and Beth. His sandy body easily absorbed the blows of the stones, reforming after every strike. The snakes had moved away from the porch to avoid the cyclops’s blade, allowing Beth to descend and fire from along the trellis. Beth and the goblin were moving toward the garage, and Sebastien closed in on them. Kali’s attention shifted as she noticed Mike through the eyes of her snakes. He was running toward the stone wall at the edge of the yard, and the cyclops was calling out his name.

The Iwa dived at the cyclops, causing her to stumble and roll out of the way, her sword coming up defensively. She wouldn’t reach Mike in time.

“I have you,” Kali hissed, commanding the snakes to attack. She could taste his flesh in her mouth with every strike, her heart pounding in exhilaration as the venom flowed freely from their fangs. They constricted around his body, pinning him in place. Sebastien sprung from the edge of the yard, using his cane to push Mike against the ground.

“Oh God!” Mike screamed in agony, rolling in the grass. Kali’s mind moved into the serpent on his chest so that she could see the defeat in his eyes. “It hurts so much, oh God, it hurts! I’m so fucking hard right now!”

What?

Mike stuck out his tongue at the snake on his chest, his eyes flashing yellow. “Wanna see my boner?” A scorpion’s tail burst free of his