Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (highly recommended books .txt) 📕

pants, striking Sebastien hard enough that he exploded into sand. Mike shifted into something smaller, becoming a little girl in a gymnastics outfit, wearing thigh-high boots. The snakes fell free of her smaller form, and Lily sprang out of the way just as hundreds of pounds of solid stone crashed into the ground, smashing the mass of snakes that had been there.

Kali cried out, her hold on the spell faltering when the connection was violently severed from so many snakes at once. The cracks in the sky glowed, and the rain she had been holding back started to fall. Shaking her head, she opened her own eyes to see a woman with large stone wings stand up from the impact crater in the grass. Snake mash fell from her stony skin, and her glittering dark eyes radiated hatred.

The gargoyle flicked a snake head off her shoulder, then flared out her wings. This scattered snake chunks everywhere, and Lily (who stood nearby) cried out in disgust.

“Rock beats slithers.” The gargoyle grinned, and Lily groaned.

Kali saw movement back at the house and turned to see that the goblin had pushed open the garage door. Out came a woman and Mike on a horse.

No. It was Mike riding a centaur, his arms wrapped tight around her midsection. Stunned by this development, Kali watched the centaur race along the outer perimeter of the yard, taking a wide turn to leap over the nearest Sebastien and cave in his skull with her hooves. He collapsed into a pile of sand, the grains vibrating as he struggled to pull himself together. He had warned Kali that the regenerative properties of his homunculi would be slower with his presence spread so thin, and now she was seeing it in action.

“After them!” She yelled the command with her mouth and her mind. The snakes shifted directions but couldn’t keep up with the centaur. She looked into the maelstrom above, commanding down bolts of lightning to chase them.

The centaur was now dodging back and forth, Mike tilting dangerously from side to side. The Sebastiens chased after them, but one of them got captured by Lily, who tangled up his feet with her tail. She had returned to adult size but now wore a mixed martial arts outfit replete with hot-pink gloves that matched her boots. She forced Sebastien to the ground, then used an armbar hold on him, stretching his arm backward until it snapped. He exploded into a small sandstorm, then re-formed a few feet away.

The sky split open up above, and a technicolor hole formed in the geas. Through her multivision, Kali could see the storm clouds escaping into the real world, the guy mowing his yard running inside in alarm. She commanded the snakes scattered through the yard to return—she needed them by her side.

The Iwa cried out in agony. The cyclops had slowly retreated from it, and the spirit was now closer to the gargoyle. Still covered in the blood of the snakes she had crushed, the gargoyle put the being into a headlock and smashed her fist repeatedly into its face. The cyclops speared it from behind with her blade, the finishing blow causing the spirit to flee back to its plane of existence, its contract with Kali officially broken. The smell of damp mud and ozone filled the air.

“No.” Kali’s voice was barely a whisper, and she pulled two more heads from her necklace, summoning the dangerous Iwa trapped within. They unfolded from their leathery spheres into angry orbs of madness, ready to rip and tear.

How had this happened? Somehow, despite her planning, she hadn’t been prepared for Mike’s counterattack. He had somehow organized these creatures into a well-oiled machine, and together they had put her on the defensive, no longer able to continue ripping apart the home’s protective spell.

“Take him down!” she yelled, then cast away the angry Iwa. They rocketed through the air, but one was tackled by the gargoyle. Kali commanded the winds to pick up, the turf around her ripping into the sky. The gargoyle rolled across the yard, punching the Iwa in its angry, howling mouth. The cyclops moved to assist, so Kali set the lightning on her once again.

A funnel cloud had formed, the swirling mass threatening them from above. Kali used her magic to hold it together and maintain a feedback loop. She was bolstering the storm’s fury with spellcraft, much like pushing a child on a swing. Utilizing its energy for magic was child’s play, but if the funnel fell, it would ruin everything. Shingles ripped off the roof and spun through the air.

“Fuck!” One of the Sebastiens exploded into sand when a car tire blasted through him. The other Sebastien ran toward the porch, holding his cane like a sword. At the car, the goblin was busy removing another tire for Beth to throw. Beth was pirouetting, her pointed fingers guiding shingles down from the sky that smashed into Sebastien and kept him from getting any closer.

Where on earth had Beth obtained the ability to do that? Kali gathered her snakes around her to keep an eye on the yard in every direction. With Sebastien occupied, she monitored the heat signatures of the combatants all around her. Nobody would be able to get close without her seeing them coming.

Summoning up a wicked wind, she was able to deflect the next projectile that came her way. The technicolor hole in the sky was already shrinking, her attention pulled away for too long. She took the last two shrunken heads from her necklace and threw them to the ground, commanding the spirits within to protect her. The gargoyle stuck her hands inside of the monstrous maw of the spirit she had been wrestling with, then ripped it apart. The cyclops was fighting Sebastien, who had drawn a sword out of his cane. Sebastien had decades of sword mastery, yet the cyclops easily dodged his attacks, slashing away at his limbs.

The gargoyle was headed toward Kali now,