Sir and Lady Chiltern are the picture of responsibility: he a member of the House of Commons, she a member of the Women’s Liberal Association. When Mrs. Cheveley arrives in London, she brings with her a letter that threatens to ruin Sir Chiltern forever—his whole life threatens to come crumbling down. The following twenty-four hours are filled with theft, blackmail, farce, and biting social commentary.
An Ideal Husband was first performed in 1893 at the Haymarket Theatre, and it was immediately successful. On April 6th, the same day it transferred to the Criterion Theatre, Oscar Wilde was arrested for gross indecency, and his name was removed from the play. Wilde revised the play for publication in 1899, taking steps to add written stage directions and character descriptions in order to make the work more accessible to the public. Today it’s Wilde’s second most popular play, after The Importance of Being Earnest.
Lord Goring.
Lord Goring
Really? What sort of work?
Lady Chiltern
Oh! dull, useful, delightful things, Factory Acts, Female Inspectors, the Eight Hours’ Bill, the Parliamentary Franchise. … Everything, in fact, that you would find thoroughly uninteresting.
Lord Goring
And never bonnets?
Lady Chiltern
With mock indignation. Never bonnets, never!
Lady Chiltern goes out through the door leading to her boudoir.
Sir Robert Chiltern
Takes Lord Goring’s hand. You have been a good friend to me, Arthur, a thoroughly good friend.
Lord Goring
I don’t know that I have been able to do much for you, Robert, as yet. In fact, I have not been able to do anything for you, as far as I can see. I am thoroughly disappointed with myself.
Sir Robert Chiltern
You have enabled me to tell you the truth. That is something. The truth has always stifled me.
Lord Goring
Ah! the truth is a thing I get rid of as soon as possible! Bad habit, by the way. Makes one very unpopular at the club … with the older members. They call it being conceited. Perhaps it is.
Sir Robert Chiltern
I would to God that I had been able to tell the truth … to live the truth. Ah! that is the great thing in life, to live the truth. Sighs, and goes towards the door. I’ll see you soon again, Arthur, shan’t I?
Lord Goring
Certainly. Whenever you like. I’m going to look in at the Bachelors’ Ball tonight, unless I find something better to do. But I’ll come round tomorrow morning. If you should want me tonight by any chance, send round a note to Curzon Street.
Sir Robert Chiltern
Thank you.
As he reaches the door, Lady Chiltern enters from her boudoir.
Lady Chiltern
You are not going, Robert?
Sir Robert Chiltern
I have some letters to write, dear.
Lady Chiltern
Going to him. You work too hard, Robert. You seem never to think of yourself, and you are looking so tired.
Sir Robert Chiltern
It is nothing, dear, nothing.
He kisses her and goes out.
Lady Chiltern
To Lord Goring. Do sit down. I am so glad you have called. I want to talk to you about … well, not about bonnets, or the Woman’s Liberal Association. You take far too much interest in the first subject, and not nearly enough in the second.
Lord Goring
You want to talk to me about Mrs. Cheveley?
Lady Chiltern
Yes. You have guessed it. After you left last night I found out that what she had said was really true. Of course I made Robert write her a letter at once, withdrawing his promise.
Lord Goring
So he gave me to understand.
Lady Chiltern
To have kept it would have been the first stain on a career that has been stainless always. Robert must be above reproach. He is not like other men. He cannot afford to do what other men do. She looks at Lord Goring, who remains silent. Don’t you agree with me? You are Robert’s greatest friend. You are our greatest friend, Lord Goring. No one, except myself, knows Robert better than you do. He has no secrets from me, and I don’t think he has any from you.
Lord Goring
He certainly has no secrets from me. At least I don’t think so.
Lady Chiltern
Then am I not right in my estimate of him? I know I am right. But speak to me frankly.
Lord Goring
Looking straight at her. Quite frankly?
Lady Chiltern
Surely. You have nothing to conceal, have you?
Lord Goring
Nothing. But, my dear Lady Chiltern, I think, if you will allow me to say so, that in practical life—
Lady Chiltern
Smiling. Of which you know so little, Lord Goring—
Lord Goring
Of which I know nothing by experience, though I know something by observation. I think that in practical life there is something about success, actual success, that is a little unscrupulous, something about ambition that is unscrupulous always. Once a man has set his heart and soul on getting to a certain point, if he has to climb the crag, he climbs the crag; if he has to walk in the mire—
Lady Chiltern
Well?
Lord Goring
He walks in the mire. Of course I am only talking generally about life.
Lady Chiltern
Gravely. I hope so. Why do you look at me so strangely, Lord Goring?
Lord Goring
Lady Chiltern, I have sometimes thought that … perhaps you are a little hard in some of your views on life. I think that … often you don’t make sufficient allowances. In every nature there are elements of weakness, or worse than weakness. Supposing, for instance, that—that any public man, my father, or Lord Merton, or Robert, say, had, years ago, written some foolish letter to someone …
Lady Chiltern
What do you mean by a foolish letter?
Lord Goring
A letter gravely compromising one’s position. I am only putting an imaginary case.
Lady Chiltern
Robert is as incapable of doing a foolish thing as he is of doing a wrong thing.
Lord Goring
After a long pause. Nobody is incapable of doing a foolish thing. Nobody is incapable of doing a wrong thing.
Lady Chiltern
Are you a Pessimist? What will the other dandies say? They will all have to go into mourning.
Lord Goring
Rising. No, Lady Chiltern, I am not a Pessimist. Indeed I am not sure that I quite know what Pessimism really means. All I do know is that life cannot be understood without much charity, cannot be lived without much charity. It is love, and not German philosophy, that is the true explanation of this world, whatever may be the explanation of the next. And if you are ever in trouble, Lady Chiltern, trust me absolutely, and I will help you in every way I can. If you ever want me, come to me for my assistance, and you shall have it. Come at once to me.
Lady Chiltern
Looking at him in surprise. Lord Goring, you are talking quite seriously. I don’t think I ever heard you talk seriously before.
Lord
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