Simply Feminine � Surprising Insights from Men by Wonderly, Morgan (best novels for beginners .txt) 📕

makes them feel good, which is why they enjoy healthy, good-spirited gamesmanship with other men. They love to win at contests, sports, and in business, but the ultimate accomplishment for men is winning with us, their women. Although men don’t like to compete with us, they do need to win with us.

Men win with us when we’re happy, content, accepting, and admiring of them. They win when we acknowledge and appreciate who they are and what they’ve accomplished. They win when we allow them to help us with our problems. They win when we trust them enough to ask their advice about something, and then take that advice. When we benefit from their help and experience, they feel more masculine, connected, and loving toward us.

Men also win when we give them clear explanations of what we want. Because men are not as good at mind reading as we might be, a detailed “honey-do” list or explanation of gifts we’d like to receive helps him to make us happy, which makes him feel like he’s won with us. Note: Men don’t want to hear about what we don’t want because they can’t do anything about those things. Instead, they need us to tell them what it is we do want.

Men Are Challenge-Seekers

Men thrive on challenges and are driven to make things happen. That’s why so many of them love camping and backpacking in the wilderness. Being out in nature presents exciting obstacles to overcome, thus giving them great satisfaction. It energizes them because it reinforces their masculinity.

Because men love challenges, they are also natural risk-takers. Men have courage and belief in themselves, and the smarter and harder they work, the more likely they will be triumphant.

Men are natural explorers because they are curious. They love being pioneers and like to push the envelope. It can make heroes of them when they harness their recklessness and take control of the environment, such as when they rescue strangers from a life-and-death situation or defend their family, group, or tribe.

Men Don’t Postpone Meeting Their Needs

Have you ever noticed that the man you’re with rarely postpones meeting his own needs? When a man is hungry, he stops to eat. When a man is tired, he goes to bed. It doesn’t matter if there are dishes in the sink, food to be put away, or laundry to be finished. Generally, he can simply walk away from all of it and head for bed.

While we women can often put off our needs to care for our families, finish our shopping, or pick up the house, a man will drop everything and take care of his needs. He’s not being self-centered or uncaring. It’s part of his masculine makeup that differs from ours and there is actually a good reason men are this way. They need their strength to accomplish their mission, which includes caring for their women, children and tribe. Being eager to get back to the mission is why we often see a man eat his food quickly rather than savor it slowly like we women do. He wants to get back to his mission. He simply sees food as fuel for recharging.

So the next time you notice your man being grumpy, grouchy, or impatient, ask him what he needs. It’s probably food, sleep, or sex. Getting these basic needs met means he can be charged up for the next task at hand.

Men Protect Our Survival

There is no denying that for eons, men have kept our species from extinction. Men have predominately been the ones to fight off the predator, either human or animal. They have done the majority of the dangerous, dirty, and difficult jobs throughout history. If men left the planet today, it’s pretty certain these structures would quickly start to break down. We would realize, once again, how important men are—not only for our comfort but also for our survival.

Look around. Who picks up the trash and recycling? Sweeps the streets? Works on the telephone lines? Repairs the roads? Prunes the trees? Drives the semi-trucks? Plows the snow? Operates the railroads? Farms the land? The list of what men do to keep society running smoothly seems endless, yet most of us take the men who do these jobs for granted.

The men who do this work for us would be elated if we noticed and acknowledged them more often, perhaps by smiling, waving, or saying thank you as a way of showing gratitude and appreciation for their hard work.

Recap

Men value simplicity because they value their freedom.

Men’s brains are compartmentalized to enable them to laser focus.

Men are sensitive beneath their cool exteriors.

Men are internal and contemplative when it comes to their feelings.

Men are decisive, which enables them to get things done.

Men are protectors, and they love to be our heroes.

Men are chivalrous out of respect for our feminine natures.

Men love to be rescuers because it makes them feel valued and masculine.

Men are honor-driven; they want to be honorable so that we’ll admire them.

Men are biologically programmed to produce and provide for us.

Men love to solve problems, from broken lamps to broken hearts.

Men love to build things.

Men are accomplishment-driven.

Men don’t wait to get their needs met because they need strength for their mission.

Men need to win in life, and they need to win with us.

Men seek challenges and risks; it’s fun for them.

Men protect our survival. We could not have survived without them.

Explorations and Journaling

Now that you have read this chapter, make a new list of the characteristics you find masculine in a man. Compare this list with the one you made at the end of chapter one.

Of those characteristics, which are the top five you admire most? Why? Elaborate on each.

How do you feel when a man performs a chivalrous act for you?

Have you verbally or nonverbally admired a man lately for what he does? If so, explain what you did and how it went.

Have you ever experienced a man coming to your rescue? How did you respond?

What labor-saving devices, invented by men, make