The Dark Lord Bert 2 by Chris Fox (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📕

first adventure, and dropped it into the box. “You can’t catch a leprechaun, and you can’t ever find the end of a rainbow. White and Crushstuff will be out there for hours. What you can do is entice a leprechaun into a trap. Once you catch one they have to grant your wish. Or up to three wishes depending on how accurate the stories are.”

Nutpuncher nodded eagerly. “So we can still be the ones to get through that door first. On the first floor that death knight guy said that it’s designed for only one person to make it all the way through, right?”

“Yeah, though I don’t know how literal that is.” Kit rose from her trap, and whispered an invisibility spell under her breath. She faded from sight, and would be utterly silent so long as she didn’t move or speak.

“I just wanted to say that I think you should be the one who goes all the way through.” Nutpuncher shifted from foot to foot. “You’re the best chance we have. Anyway, I’m going to go hide.”

Nutpuncher trotted off into the bushes, which rustled for a moment, then went still. She knew he still lurked inside, but there was nothing to reveal the gnome’s presence.

Her knee had begun to ache by the time a cautious emerald-coated leprechaun crept into view. Darby removed his conical hat, and used the point to probe within the box. After a couple of experimental swings he withdrew the hat with her amulet dangling from the end. Tricky bastard.

Before Kit could even begin a spell Nutpuncher streaked from the bushes, and his fists rocketed into the leprechaun’s groin. The poor fellow dropped his hat and fell into a fetal position as he groaned in pain. “Ohhh…there was no cause for that. Why…so…violent?”

White’s form materialized next to the prone leprechaun, and the necromancer snatched the creature up even more swiftly than Nutpuncher could react. “There we go. I knew giving my class the ability to act first and last every round would come in handy. Now then my little bearded friend…open the door.”

“White, no!” Kit sprinted forward, but it was too late.

“Granted.” The leprechaun offered a mischievous smile, and the door they’d entered through suddenly reopened. “You’ve got two more wishes.”

White’s hands trembled, and his eyes narrowed, and he drew the leprechaun closer to his face. Close enough that their noses nearly touched. “Open the door leading to the next level of the dungeon. Right now. With no delay or tricks. Ensure that I and my companions can walk through unharmed, and warn me of any dangers we might encounter below.”

“Mostly your own ego and ignorance.” The leprechaun rolled his eyes at White. The necromancer had that effect on people. “Brotep’s on the next level and there’s a riddle you have to solve. Fine, I’ve opened the door.” He waved a hand, and the door on the far side of the meadow opened. “Now how about that last wish? Let’s get this over with so I can be on my way. Husbear and I are doing a Firefly marathon later.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to be late for dinner, my bearded friend.” White stuffed the struggling leprechaun into his pack, leaving one booted foot poking out. “Once I have control of the tomb that wish will be potent indeed. Then and only then will you and your ursine companion don your brown coats.”

Kit realized that, once again, White had won the day. A potion of super-heroism and an extra wish, and they hadn’t even reached the throne room yet.

9

Riddles

Kit exited the glade through the disembodied door, and followed White into a more familiar part of the tomb. The necromancer descended a narrow flight of stairs, which she vividly remembered. The last time they’d invaded this place it had led to Ramen Brotep’s level, and meeting the adoramancer had been one of the more terrifying encounters of her life.

Petrification would terrify anyone. Well anyone except for Bert. The courageous goblin had saved them, though White had taken credit, of course.

She glared at the dark elf as he boldly stepped onto the sand below. A slow tide of kittens came mewing into view, each wearing pharaonic headdresses. A wave of deadly cuteness.

“White, what are you doing?” Nutpuncher demanded, as he slowly backed out of the room. Kit didn’t blame him after having his last character petrified. The gnome knew better than anyone how dangerous the kittens could be.

“I am immune to petrification. It’s a class ability.” He nudged a cat gently out of the way with his boot, and kept on across the sand.

“What about the rest of us?” Crushstuff called, but White didn’t slow.

“Be patient,” the wizard called. “I will return for you after I deal with the dark lord.”

He stopped at the far side of the room, and unsurprisingly Ramen Brotep suddenly rose from the sands, the mummy’s bandages sloughing most of it off. He shook his gold chains to dislodge the rest of the sand, then turned to White with a cough of dust.

“Welcome, adventurers.” The mummy looked vaguely uncomfortable, and delivered the words like a tour guide who loathed their job, and had given the same speech countless times. “In order to pass this level you must face a terrifying riddle. Solve it, and proceed to face the dark lord.”

“Riddle?” White raised an eyebrow. “That makes no sense. This is a petrification room. You are an adoramancer. Why are you asking a riddle?”

Brotep’s shoulders slumped, sending the mummy’s chains jingling. “The new dark lord is an all right guy, but…well, he’s a little bit soft. He says I can’t petrify people any more. He says that I have to ask this stupid riddle, and only let people past who guess the answer. I can’t even rhyme, because he gave me a script I have to follow.”

“Then follow it. What is this riddle?” White’s eyebrows knit together like thunderclouds.

“Trust me.” The mummy raised both hands to placate White. “You are going to hate this. It’s