Dungeon Core Academy: Books 1-7 (A LitRPG Series) by Alex Oakchest (book suggestions txt) 📕

Sider and her crew followed a different route through the caverns, refusing to be coaxed into whatever pit of horror the key-holding creature wanted to lead them to. They headed further in a different direction, leaving the periphery of the dungeon and striding into its heart where the outside breeze was at first a whisper but then became silent, leaving in its place a stifling air filled with dread and the promise of dangers ahead.

Ah well, that was dungeons for you. It had been a long time since Sider had feared stuff like that.

“You don’t sniff at a dungeon creature waving a dungeon key in your face,” whispered Pumphrey. “Might have been for a secret room. A sneaky little door filled with diamonds and gems the size of apples.”

“Ever met a kobold, Pumps? Tricky little buggers,” answered Sider. “Always either too clever or too stupid for their own good, and either way I want nothing to do with them. I’m too long in the tooth to get coaxed through a dungeon by the lovechild of a wolf and a lizard. In fact, my tooth’s so long that migrating geese use it to navigate from the air. Let’s reassess, plan our route, and don’t lose our heads. A key to secret loot would have been nice but being led into a trap would ruin an otherwise pleasant day.”

“Was it definitely a kobold?” said Pumphrey. “Might have been a goblin, gremlin, halfling, some kind of troll, maybe a breed of giant rat…”

“I know a kobold when I see one.”

“Do you, though? Do you really? The mind is a trickster. I spent years of my childhood too scared to sleep in my room because a ghost lived on the wall and watched me. Turned out it was a damp stain.”

“And here you are, fearless dungeoneer.”

“You either master your fear or you put a collar around your neck and let it take you for walkies.”

“I’d bet your left nut on it being a kobold. Anyway, never mind that. There’s a room ahead. See it? Cheeks, check it out.”

They had followed a maze of tunnels for almost an hour by Sider’s judgment, navigating loops, long stretches of passageways, and passing numerous other alcoves where the tunnels spread out in different directions.

And now, there was a room ahead. She could only see the tunnel arch now, and beyond it was a wide space lit by mana lamps fixed to the walls. Sider had never been in a dungeon that was so well lit. Usually, they had to bring their own torches or alchemical goo. It was unnerving to have so much illumination because it was so different from the norm. It meant this core might not behave in the way she’d come to expect.

“Cheeks?” she said. “Make sure we’re clear of murdery and killey things, please. I’m not in the mood for pitfalls or swinging steel ball traps today.”

The rotund man lumbered over to the archway of the room ahead. Matilda the duck looked around, her head poking out of Cheeks’ bag. She gave a series of quacks, ones so varied in pitch and volume that Sider was almost convinced the duck really could talk. Cheeks kneeled by the archway.

“Meant to say,” whispered Pumphrey. “Now’s not the right time, I guess, but I can feel it spilling out. I just gotta say it.”

“If you declare your luve fur me, yuu’ll be disapuinted, my friend,” said Seabright. “I prumised my heart tu a girl back hume.”

Pumphrey gave a nervous laugh but fixed his stare on Sider.

He had to tell her something? What did he need to tell her? Was he joining another hero group? Maybe even a heroes' guild? That would be stupid; guilds taxed the arse off you.

Or perhaps he was becoming a King’s dungeoneer or something like that. Whatever it was, he was worried to say it to her. This man with twenty years’ experience of fighting and killing his way through underground crypts was scared of saying a few words.

Gods, just don’t let it be a declaration of love. Not only did she see him as a brother, but the vaguest whiff of romance made her want to vomit. She once earned a book of sonnets as loot in a dungeon, and even holding it made her green in the gills.

“Come on then, spit it out,” she said. “This isn’t a theatre; we don’t need dramatics.”

“This is my last raid,” he said.

Well, how about that. Whatever weird possibilities she’d thought of, she hadn’t expected that.

“You’re not even forty. You’ve still got the legs for it, so why give up?”

Pumphrey scratched his head with the hilt of his dagger, a blade that must have killed hundreds of creatures in its time. “When we stayed in Boonetide, before getting here, I met a girl.”

“I saw you bragging to the barmaid. What of it?”

“We’re in love.”

Sider burst out laughing. “What are you, fifteen getting your first feel of a boob? You meet a girl and the next minute you’re in love?”

“I spent two days with her, actually. She knows about my condition and she accepts it.”

The words choked Sider.

“She knows?”

“How could she not? You know what happened back there.”

“We weren’t careful enough,” said Sider. “Promise me this girl isn’t going to tell anyone.”

“She won’t.”

“If her lips aren’t as sealed as you think they are, this could ruin us.”

“She’s not empty between the ears, Sider. She wouldn’t do that. She loves me.”

“You make me want to throw up. I’m happy for you, Pumps, don’t get me wrong, but it’s still disgusting. Who’d want to give up tombs and dungeons for a measly thing like love?”

So Pumphrey was in love and was leaving her group. Her most experienced, most loyal dungeoneer was heading for a safer life. It made