Hudibras by Samuel Butler (simple e reader .TXT) š
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The knight-errant Hudibras and his trusty (and somewhat more grounded) squire Ralph roam the land in search of adventure and love. Never the most congenial of partners, their constant arguments are Samuel Butlerās satire of the major issues of the day in late 17th century Britain, including the recent civil war, religious sectarianism, philosophy, astrology, and even the differing rights of women and men.
Butler had originally studied to be a lawyer (which explains some of the detail in the third part of Hudibras), but made a living variously as a clerk, part-time painter, and secretary before dedicating himself to writing in 1662. Hudibras was immediately popular on the release of its first part, and, like Don Quixote, even had an unauthorized second part available before Butler had finished the genuine one. Voltaire praised the humor, and although Samuel Pepys wasnāt immediately taken with the poem, it was such the rage that he noted in his diary that heād repurchased it to see again what the fuss was about. Hudibrasās popularity did not fade for many years, and although some of the finer detail of 17th century talking points might be lost on the modern reader, the wit of the caricatures (and a large collection of endnotes) help bring this story to life.
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- Author: Samuel Butler
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Or else our aid will come too late.
Quarter he scorns, he is so stout,
And therefore cannot long hold out.
This said, they wavād their weapons round
About their heads, to clear the ground;
And joining forces, laid about
So fiercely, that thā amazed rout
Turnād tail again, and straight begun,
As if the Devil drove, to run.
Meanwhile thā approachād thā place where Bruin
Was now engagād to mortal ruin.
The conquāring foe they soon assailād;
First Trulla stavād, and Cerdon tailād,74
Until their mastiffs loosād their hold:
And yet, alas! do what they could,
The worsted Bear came off with store
Of bloody wounds, but all before:
For as Achilles, dipt in pond,
Was anabaptizād free from wound,
Made proof against dead-doing steel
All over, but the Pagan heel;
So did our championās arms defend
All of him, but the other end,
His head and ears, which, in the martial
Encounter, lost a leathern parcel:
For as an Austrian archduke once
Had one ear (which in ducatoons
Is half the coin) in battle parād
Close to his head, so Bruin farād;
But tuggād and pullād on thā other side,
Like scrivāner newly crucifyād;
Or like the late corrected leathern
Ears of the circumcised brethren.75
But gentle Trulla into thā ring
He wore inās nose, conveyād a string,
With which she marchād before, and led
The warrior to a grassy bed.
As authors write, in a cool shade,
Which eglantine and roses made;
Close by a softly murmāring stream,
Where lovers usād to loll and dream.
There leaving him to his repose,
Secured from pursuit of foes,
And wanting nothing but a song,
And a well-tunād theorbo hung
Upon a bough, to ease the pain
His tuggād ears sufferād, with a strain,
They both drew up, to march in quest
Of his great leader and the rest.
For Orsin (who was more renownād
For stout maintaining of his ground
In standing fight, than for pursuit,
As being not so quick of foot)
Was not long able to keep pace
With others that pursuād the chase;
But found himself left far behind,
Both out of heart and out of wind:
Grievād to behold his bear pursuād
So basely by a multitude;
And like to fall, not by the prowess,
But numbers of his coward foes.
He ragād and kept as heavy a coil as
Stout Hercules for loss of Hylas;
Forcing the valleys to repeat
The accents of his sad regret.
He beat his breast, and tore his hair,
For loss of his dear crony bear;
That Echo, from the hollow ground,
His doleful wailings did resound
More wistfully, by many times,
Than in small poets splay-foot rhymes
That make her, in their rueful stories,
To answer to intārogatories,
And most unconscionably depose
To things of which she nothing knows;
And when she has said all she can say,
āTis wrested to the loverās fancy.
Quoth he, O whither, wicked Bruin
Art thou fled? to myā āEcho, Ruin?
I thought thā hadst scornād to budge a step
For fear. Quoth Echo, Marry guep.
Am not I here to take thy part?
Then what has quelled thy stubborn heart?
Have these bones rattled, and this head
So often in thy quarrel bled?
Nor did I ever winch or grudge it,
For thy dear sake. Quoth she, Mum budget.
Thinkāst thou ātwill not be laid iā thā dish
Thou turnādst thy back? Quoth Echo, Pish.
To run from those thā hast overcome
Thus cowardly? Quoth Echo, Mum.
But what a vengeance makes thee fly
From me, too, as thine enemy?
Or if thou hast no thought of me,
Nor what I have endurād for thee,
Yet shame and honour might prevail
To keep thee thus from turning tail:
For who would grudge to spend his blood in
His honourās cause? Quoth she, A puddin.
This said, his grief to anger turnād,
Which in his manly stomach burnād;
Thirst of revenge, and wrath, in place
Of sorrow, now began to blaze.
He vowād the authors of his woe
Should equal vengeance undergo;
And with their bones and flesh pay dear
For what he sufferād, and his bear.
This bāing resolvād, with equal speed
And rage he hasted to proceed
To action straight; and giving oāer
To search for Bruin any more,
He went in quest of Hudibras,
To find him out whereāer he was;
And, if he were above ground, vowād
Heād ferret him, lurk where he would.
But scarce had he a furlong on
This resolute adventure gone,
When he encounterād with that crew
Whom Hudibras did late subdue.
Honour, revenge, contempt, and shame,
Did equally their breasts inflame.
āMong these the fierce Magnano was,
And Talgol, foe to Hudibras;
Cerdon and Colon, warriors stout,
As resolute, as ever fought;
Whom furious Orsin thus bespoke:
Shall we (quoth he) thus basely brook
The vile affront that paltry ass,
And feeble scoundrel Hudibras,
With that more paltry ragamuffin,
Ralpho, with vapouring and huffing,
Have put upon us like tame cattle,
As if thā had routed us in battle!
For my part, it shall neāer be said,
I for the washing gave my head:
Nor did I turn my back for fear
Oā thā rascals, but loss of my bear,
Which now Iām like to undergo;
For whether those fell wounds, or no,
He has receivād in fight, are mortal,
Is more than all my skill can foretell
Nor do I know what is become
Of him, more than the pope of Rome.
But if I can but find them out
That causād it (as I shall, no doubt,
Whereāer thā in hugger-mugger lurk)
Iāll make them rue their handy-work;
And wish that they had rather darād
To pull the devil by the beard.
Quoth Cerdon, Noble Orsin, thā hast
Great reason to do as thou sayāst,
And so has evāry body here,
As well as thou hast or thy bear.
Others may do as they see good;
But if this twig be made of wood
That will hold tack, Iāll make the fur
Fly ābout the ears of that old cur;
And thā other mongrel vermin, Ralph,
That bravād us all in his behalf.
Thy bear is safe, and out of peril,
Though luggād indeed, and wounded very ill;
Myself and Trulla made a shift
To help him out at a dead lift;
And having brought him bravely off,
Have left him where heās safe enough:
There let him rest; for if we stay,
The slaves may hap to get away.
This said, they all engagād to join
Their forces in the same design;
And forthwith put themselves in search
Of Hudibras upon their march.
Where leave we awhile, to tell
What the victorious knight befel:
For such, Crowdero being fast
In dungeon shut, we left him last.
Triumphant laurels seemād to grow
No where so green as on his brow;
Laden with which, as well as tirād
With conquering toil he now retirād
Unto a neighbāring castle by,
To rest his body,
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