The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope (the kiss of deception read online txt) 📕

to ride on his ponies, and to eat partially of his bread. They had so eaten, and so lived, and declared themselves to be grateful. The squire was good in his way, and they recognized his goodness; but not on that account would they transfer to him one jot of the allegiance which as children they owed to their mother. When she told them her tale, explaining to them the words which their uncle had spoken that morning, they expressed their regret that he should be so grieved; but they were strong in assurances to their mother that she had been sinned against, and was not sinning.

“Let us go at once,” said Bell.

“It is much easier said than done, my dear.”

“Of course it is, mamma; else we shouldn’t be here now. What I mean is this⁠—let us take some necessary first step at once. It is clear that my uncle thinks that our remaining here should give him some right over us. I do not say that he is wrong to think so. Perhaps it is natural. Perhaps, in accepting his kindness, we ought to submit ourselves to him. If that be so, it is a conclusive reason for our going.”

“Could we not pay him rent for the house,” said Lily, “as Mrs. Hearn does? You would like to remain here, mamma, if you could do that?”

“But we could not do that, Lily. We must choose for ourselves a smaller house than this, and one that is not burdened with the expense of a garden. Even if we paid but a moderate rent for this place, we should not have the means of living here.”

“Not if we lived on toast and tea?” said Lily, laughing.

“But I should hardly wish you to live upon toast and tea; and indeed I fancy that I should get tired of such a diet myself.”

“Never, mamma,” said Lily. “As for me, I confess to a longing after mutton chops; but I don’t think you would ever want such vulgar things.”

“At any rate, it would be impossible to remain here,” said Bell. “Uncle Christopher would not take rent from mamma; and even if he did, we should not know how to go on with our other arrangements after such a change. No; we must give up the dear old Small House.”

“It is a dear old house,” said Lily, thinking, as she spoke, more of those late scenes in the garden, when Crosbie had been with them in the autumn months, than of any of the former joys of her childhood.

“After all, I do not know that I should be right to move,” said Mrs. Dale, doubtingly.

“Yes, yes,” said both the girls at once. “Of course you will be right, mamma; there cannot be a doubt about it, mamma. If we can get any cottage, or even lodgings, that would be better than remaining here, now that we know what uncle Christopher thinks of it.”

“It will make him very unhappy,” said Mrs. Dale.

But even this argument did not in the least move the girls. They were very sorry that their uncle should be unhappy. They would endeavour to show him by some increased show of affection that their feelings towards him were not unkind. Should he speak to them they would endeavour to explain to him that their thoughts towards him were altogether affectionate. But they could not remain at Allington increasing their load of gratitude, seeing that he expected a certain payment which they did not feel themselves able to render.

“We should be robbing him, if we stayed here,” Bell declared;⁠—“wilfully robbing him of what he believes to be his just share of the bargain.”

So it was settled among them that notice should be given to their uncle of their intention to quit the Small House of Allington.

And then came the question as to their new home. Mrs. Dale was aware that her income was at any rate better than that possessed by Mrs. Eames, and therefore she had fair ground for presuming that she could afford to keep a house at Guestwick. “If we do go away, that is what we must do,” she said.

“And we shall have to walk out with Mary Eames, instead of Susan Boyce,” said Lily. “It won’t make so much difference after all.”

“In that respect we shall gain as much as we lose,” said Bell.

“And then it will be so nice to have the shops,” said Lily, ironically.

“Only we shall never have any money to buy anything,” said Bell.

“But we shall see more of the world,” said Lily. “Lady Julia’s carriage comes into town twice a week, and the Miss Gruffens drive about in great style. Upon the whole, we shall gain a great deal; only for the poor old garden. Mamma, I do think I shall break my heart at parting with Hopkins; and as to him, I shall be disappointed in mankind if he ever holds his head up again after I am gone.”

But in truth there was very much of sadness in their resolution, and to Mrs. Dale it seemed as though she were managing matters badly for her daughters, and allowing poverty and misfortune to come upon them through her own fault. She well knew how great a load of sorrow was lying on Lily’s heart, hidden beneath those little attempts at pleasantry which she made. When she spoke of being disappointed in mankind, Mrs. Dale could hardly repress an outward shudder that would betray her thoughts. And now she was consenting to take them forth from their comfortable home, from the luxury of their lawns and gardens, and to bring them to some small dingy corner of a provincial town⁠—because she had failed to make herself happy with her brother-in-law. Could she be right to give up all the advantages which they enjoyed at Allington⁠—advantages which had come to them from so legitimate a source⁠—because her own feelings had been wounded? In all their future want of comfort, in the comfortless dowdiness of the new home to which she would remove them,