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a speech? Madame Pernelle

There are strange goings-on about your house,
And everybody knows your people hate him.

Orgon

What’s that to do with what I tell you now?

Madame Pernelle

I always said, my son, when you were little:
That virtue here below is hated ever;
The envious may die, but envy never.

Orgon

What’s that fine speech to do with present facts?

Madame Pernelle

Be sure, they’ve forged a hundred silly lies⁠ ⁠…

Orgon

I’ve told you once, I saw it all myself.

Madame Pernelle

For slanderers abound in calumnies⁠ ⁠…

Orgon

Mother, you’d make me damn my soul. I tell you
I saw with my own eyes his shamelessness.

Madame Pernelle

Their tongues for spitting venom never lack,
There’s nothing here below they’ll not attack.

Orgon

Your speech has not a single grain of sense.
I saw it, harkee, saw it, with these eyes
I saw⁠—d’ye know what saw means?⁠—must I say it
A hundred times, and din it in your ears?

Madame Pernelle

My dear, appearances are oft deceiving,
And seeing shouldn’t always be believing.

Orgon

I’ll go mad.

Madame Pernelle

False suspicions may delude,
And good to evil oft is misconstrued.

Orgon

Must I construe as Christian charity
The wish to kiss my wife!

Madame Pernelle

You must, at least,
Have just foundation for accusing people,
And wait until you see a thing for sure.

Orgon

The devil! How could I see any surer?
Should I have waited till, before my eyes,
He⁠ ⁠… No, you’ll make me say things quite improper.

Madame Pernelle

In short, ’tis known too pure a zeal inflames him;
And so, I cannot possibly conceive
That he should try to do what’s charged against him.

Orgon

If you were not my mother, I should say
Such things!⁠ ⁠… I know not what, I’m so enraged!

Dorine

To Orgon. Fortune has paid you fair, to be so doubted;
You flouted our report, now yours is flouted.

Cléante

We’re wasting time here in the merest trifling,
Which we should rather use in taking measures
To guard ourselves against the scoundrel’s threats.

Damis

You think his impudence could go far?

Elmire

For one, I can’t believe it possible;
Why, his ingratitude would be too patent.

Cléante

Don’t trust to that; he’ll find abundant warrant
To give good colour to his acts against you;
And for less cause than this, a strong cabal
Can make one’s life a labyrinth of troubles.
I tell you once again: armed as he is
You never should have pushed him quite so far.

Orgon

True; yet what could I do? The rascal’s pride
Made me lose all control of my resentment.

Cléante

I wish with all my heart that some pretence
Of peace could be patched up between you two

Elmire

If I had known what weapons he was armed with,
I never should have raised such an alarm,
And my⁠ ⁠…

Orgon

To Dorine, seeing Mr. Loyal come in.

Who’s coming now? Go quick, find out.
I’m in a fine state to receive a visit!

Scene IV Orgon, Madame Pernelle, Elmire, Mariane, Cléante, Damis, Dorine, Mr. Loyal. Mr. Loyal

To Dorine, at the back of the stage.

Good day, good sister. Pray you, let me see
The master of the house.

Dorine

He’s occupied;
I think he can see nobody at present.

Mr. Loyal

I’m not by way of being unwelcome here.
My coming can, I think, nowise displease him;
My errand will be found to his advantage.

Dorine

Your name, then?

Mr. Loyal

Tell him simply that his friend
Mr. Tartuffe has sent me, for his goods⁠ ⁠…

Dorine

To Orgon. It is a man who comes, with civil manners,
Sent by Tartuffe, he says, upon an errand
That you’ll be pleased with.

Cléante

To Orgon. Surely you must see him,
And find out who he is, and what he wants.

Orgon

To Cléante. Perhaps he’s come to make it up between us:
How shall I treat him?

Cléante

You must not get angry;
And if he talks of reconciliation
Accept it.

Mr. Loyal

To Orgon. Sir, good day. And Heaven send
Harm to your enemies, favour to you.

Orgon

Aside to Cléante. This mild beginning suits with my conjectures
And promises some compromise already.

Mr. Loyal

All of your house has long been dear to me;
I had the honour, sir, to serve your father.

Orgon

Sir, I am much ashamed, and ask your pardon
For not recalling now your face or name.

Mr. Loyal

My name is Loyal. I’m from Normandy.
My office is court-bailiff, in despite
Of envy; and for forty years, thank Heaven,
It’s been my fortune to perform that office
With honour. So I’ve come, sir, by your leave
To render service of a certain writ⁠ ⁠…

Orgon

What, you are here to⁠ ⁠…

Mr. Loyal

Pray, sir, don’t be angry.
’Tis nothing, sir, but just a little summons:⁠—
Order to vacate, you and yours, this house,
Move out your furniture, make room for others,
And that without delay or putting off,
As needs must be⁠ ⁠…

Orgon

I? Leave this house?

Mr. Loyal

Yes, please, sir
The house is now, as you well know, of course,
Mr. Tartuffe’s. And he, beyond dispute,
Of all your goods is henceforth lord and master
By virtue of a contract here attached,
Drawn in due form, and unassailable.

Damis

To Mr. Loyal. Your insolence is monstrous, and astounding!

Mr. Loyal

To Damis. I have no business, sir, that touches you;

Pointing to Orgon.

This is the gentleman. He’s fair and courteous,
And knows too well a gentleman’s behaviour
To wish in any wise to question justice.

Orgon

But⁠ ⁠…

Mr. Loyal

Sir, I know you would not for a million
Wish to rebel; like a good citizen
You’ll let me put in force the court’s decree.

Damis

Your long black gown may well, before you know it,
Mister Court-bailiff, get a thorough beating.

Mr. Loyal

To Orgon. Sir, make your son be silent or withdraw.
I should be loath to have to set things down,
And see your names inscribed in my report.

Dorine

Aside. This Mr. Loyal’s looks are most disloyal.

Mr. Loyal

I have much feeling for respectable
And honest folk like you, sir, and consented
To serve these papers, only to oblige you,
And thus prevent the choice of any other
Who, less possessed of zeal for you

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