See Under by David Grossman (famous ebook reader TXT) 📕

doctor refused to indulge his whims, he would stamp his little foot, looking so fierce and hostile that Fried was quick to comply. Fried: “He’s so miserable. He doesn’t know what he wants yet. You have to help him through it.” At times Fried felt as though he were watching an angry artist painting with both hands, grimacing all the while, and tearing off one page, ready to attack the next. Fried could no longer even cherish the illusion that the child belonged to him. Kazik was at the mercy of nasty thoughts, and disagreeable emotions that appeared on his face and desperately sought the proper outlet. Yet Fried did not for one moment stop loving him, and always looked for reasons to love the boy and forgive him, attributing characteristics, motives, and feelings to him which he grasped at like straws in order to maintain his relationship with the strange boy. In addition to all this, Kazik was blessed with a depressing natural ability: due to his ambivalence toward TIME [q.v.], he was able to view simultaneously the processes of growth and decay in every object and person. He saw each plant and animal as the cruel battlefield of a never-ending struggle. This distressed him, and intensified the violence that erupted in him unchecked. And yet, as sometimes happens, out of this jumble of emotions a boy emerged who surprised even the doctor with his strength, determination, and the optimism that flowed out of him like a tonic produced by his own body as a cure for all the pains of adolescence. At around 0330 Kazik’simpulsiveness subsided somewhat. A kind of coordination was now observable in his limbs, and a new look appeared in his eyes, curious, confident, clear. The doctor’s heart was filled with happiness. Kazik sat at his feet, holding Fried’s old hand in his, and asked if what he had told him once, years before in his childhood, was true. Kazik vaguely remembered certain things Fried had told him once about the world beyond the closed pavilion, and about other people [see under. EDUCATION]. The doctor’s heart sank. Now he was going to lose the child, too. How many separations could one man endure? In a quiet voice he admitted that there was a world out there beyond the pavilion. That there were people there, too. For a moment he detested the boy’s smile of delight. Kazik asked what kind of life people lived out there, and the doctor said, “Just life.” Then Kazik asked if people love their lives. Fried wanted to lie, but could not. There was something in the boy that made lying seem to him like a revolting waste of time. Kazik listened to Fried’s reply [see under: DISABILITY] and brooded over it. Then he asked how many people there were outside, and the doctor specified a number that seemed to be closest to the truth. The boy gaped. He didn’t understand the number. Then he smiled his painful smile again and said never mind how many there were, one of them was bound to love life, and that he, Kazik, intended to be the one. The doctor asked with emotion how Kazik would define this love of life, and what happiness meant to him. But these questions were too complicated for Kazik, whose ability to think and express himself was regrettably limited. He could only say, “It’s something good. Something I want. Something that’s there. Let’s go get it.” And so, forgoing needless preliminaries, the two set off on their way.

Also see under: LUNATICS, VOYAGE OF THE; LIFE, THE JOY OF

SEVEL

SUFFERING

1. A weight, a burden, an affliction. 2. By analogy: pain, trouble, or distress. Physical or mental anguish.

Wasserman says: The compass or lighthouse, the criterion for every human decision. Wasserman sees sensitivity to suffering and consciousness of it as the highest goal of mankind. Moreover, it is man’s protest, and the highest expression of his freedom. The measure of man’s humanity,in Wasserman’s opinion, is defined by the amount of suffering he succeeds in diminishing or preventing. [Editorial comment: It is almost superfluous to point out here that Wasserman himself never faced the kind of dilemma wherein, for example, he was forced to “cause” suffering in order to save his own life. At the same time, the editorial staff assumes that his passive, righteous attitude was so deeply ingrained that he would have preferred to be destroyed rather than cause suffering. Arguing with Wasserman about this is like talking to a blind man about a rainbow.]

SAHARURIM, MASA HA

LUNATICS, VOYAGE OF THE

The voyage made by Fried, Kazik, and the other ARTISTS [q.v.] from Fried’s residence to Otto’s pavilion. The voyage began at 0427, when Kazik was twenty-seven. They walked along the boulevard of bird cages, past the mound with Paula’s grave, and down the Lane of Eternal Youth. They were a tired bunch, nearing the end of their tether, and Kazik was their last hope. They showed Kazik where each of them lived, or slept, or practiced his art, and explained who they were and what their special talent was. They didn’t talk much. Just a few words or gestures (Munin: “For me, gestures were enough”). Marcus: “Because there are some among us who never stop talking to themselves or to others, but when asked an important question, are struck dumb. They are extremely embarrassed. And what were we, after all? Otto Brig’s heart people. Wretched partisans living out in the wilderness beyond the human race, how could we hope to triumph alone?” Undoubtedly something of the artists’ anguish and despair began to filter through to Kazik’s soul. He listened with open mouth to their descriptions of strange and varied wars. He sensed the tremendous effort that went into them. For the first time in his life his sensitive antennae touched human limitation, and he was amazed to discover how close it was to him. The expedition proceeded at