The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope (the kiss of deception read online txt) 📕

“Dear me!” said Lily. “Suppose they were to make up a match!”

“Lily, how can you be so absurd?”

“Let me see; what relation would he be to us? He would certainly be Bernard’s uncle, and uncle Christopher’s half brother-in-law. Wouldn’t it be odd?”

“It would rather,” said Mrs. Dale.

“I hope he’ll be civil to Bernard. Don’t you, Bell? Is he to give up the Income-tax Office, Dr. Crofts?”

“I didn’t hear that that was settled yet.” And so they went on talking about John Eames.

“Joking apart,” said Lily, “I am very glad that Lord De Guest has taken him by the hand. Not that I think an earl is better than anybody else, but because it shows that people are beginning to understand that he has got something in him. I always said that they who laughed at John would see him hold up his head yet.” All which words sank deep into Mrs. Dale’s mind. If only, in some coming time, her pet might be taught to love this new young hero! But then would not that last heroic deed of his militate most strongly against any possibility of such love!

“And now I may as well be going,” said the doctor, rising from his chair. At this time Bell had left the room, but Mrs. Dale was still there.

“You need not be in such a hurry, especially this evening,” said Lily.

“Why especially this evening?”

“Because it will be the last. Sit down again, Dr. Crofts. I’ve got a little speech to make to you. I’ve been preparing it all the morning, and you must give me an opportunity of speaking it.”

“I’ll come the day after tomorrow, and I’ll hear it then.”

“But I choose, sir, that you should hear it now. Am I not to be obeyed when I first get up on to my own throne? Dear, dear Dr. Crofts, how am I to thank you for all that you have done?”

“How are any of us to thank him?” said Mrs. Dale.

“I hate thanks,” said the doctor. “One kind glance of the eye is worth them all, and I’ve had many such in this house.”

“You have our hearts’ love, at any rate,” said Mrs. Dale.

“God bless you all!” said he, as he prepared to go.

“But I haven’t made my speech yet,” said Lily. “And to tell the truth, mamma, you must go away, or I shall never be able to make it. It’s very improper, is it not, turning you out, but it shall only take three minutes.” Then Mrs. Dale, with some little joking word, left the room; but, as she left it, her mind was hardly at ease. Ought she to have gone, leaving it to Lily’s discretion to say what words she might think fit to Dr. Crofts? Hitherto she had never doubted her daughters⁠—not even their discretion; and therefore it had been natural to her to go when she was bidden. But as she went downstairs she had her doubts whether she was right or no.

“Dr. Crofts,” said Lily, as soon as they were alone. “Sit down there, close to me. I want to ask you a question. What was it you said to Bell when you were alone with her the other evening in the parlour?”

The doctor sat for a moment without answering, and Lily, who was watching him closely, could see by the light of the fire that he had been startled⁠—had almost shuddered as the question was asked him.

“What did I say to her?” and he repeated her words in a very low voice. “I asked her if she could love me, and be my wife.”

“And what answer did she make to you?”

“What answer did she make? She simply refused me.”

“No, no, no; don’t believe her, Dr. Crofts. It was not so;⁠—I think it was not so. Mind you, I can say nothing as coming from her. She has not told me her own mind. But if you really love her, she will be mad to refuse you.”

“I do love her, Lily; that at any rate is true.”

“Then go to her again. I am speaking for myself now. I cannot afford to lose such a brother as you would be. I love you so dearly that I cannot spare you. And she⁠—I think she’ll learn to love you as you would wish to be loved. You know her nature, how silent she is, and averse to talk about herself. She has confessed nothing to me but this⁠—that you spoke to her and took her by surprise. Are we to have another chance? I know how wrong I am to ask such a question. But, after all, is not the truth the best?”

“Another chance!”

“I know what you mean, and I think she is worthy to be your wife. I do, indeed; and if so, she must be very worthy. You won’t tell of me, will you now, doctor?”

“No; I won’t tell of you.”

“And you’ll try again?”

“Yes; I’ll try again.”

“God bless you, my brother! I hope⁠—I hope you’ll be my brother.” Then, as he put out his hand to her once more, she raised her head towards him, and he, stooping down, kissed her forehead. “Make mamma come to me,” were the last words she spoke as he went out at the door.

“So you’ve made your speech,” said Mrs. Dale.

“Yes, mamma.”

“I hope it was a discreet speech.”

“I hope it was, mamma. But it has made me so tired, and I believe I’ll go to bed. Do you know I don’t think I should have done much good down at the school today?”

Then Mrs. Dale, in her anxiety to repair what injury might have been done to her daughter by overexertion, omitted any further mention of the farewell speech.

Dr. Crofts as he rode home enjoyed but little of the triumph of a successful lover. “It may be that she’s right,” he said to himself; “and, at any rate, I’ll ask again.” Nevertheless, that “No” which Bell had spoken, and had repeated, still sounded in his ears harsh and conclusive. There are men to whom a peal of noes rattling about their