Lock, Stock, and Feral by Addison Moore (free e novels .txt) 📕

“What? I was thinking about Romero.” She tosses up a hand before busying herself with her notebook and quickly jotting down whatever trashy thoughts come to mind, I’m sure.

“Go on,” Georgie is quick to spur on the flirty redhead who doesn’t mind admitting to lusting after my man.

“Oh, I cover it all. There’s nothing too down and dirty for me to omit.” She sighs brazenly. “Boy, do I really miss his kisses.” A sickly moan escapes her. “Doesn’t Jasper just have the softest lips?” She looks to me and I give a circular nod in lieu of strangling her.

I take back what I said. This woman has far less brain cells than Camila Ryder. Camila might be a snake in the grass, but this woman is flying way too close to the sun.

“And that body?” She moans twice as hard. “Anyway, I spend weeks crafting our love scenes, and I make sure to include at least nine in each book.”

“Nine?” I muse. “Sounds exhausting.”

“Well, you know what a tiger he can be in bed.” She claws her hand my way and lets out a roar as she laughs.

“Yes, I do.” And I’m not laughing.

“Both of my editors agree that my love scenes were some of the steamiest they have ever seen. One of those scenes goes on for forty-two pages.”

“Just forty-two?” I cock a brow at the insanity of it all.

Georgie snickers. “So when can I get my hot little hands on a copy of this steamy read?”

I shoot Georgie a look. “I’m sure it’s a long way from publication.”

“No, no, no.” Hadley waves me off. “I happen to have a few advanced copies I can give each of you. It’s not the final copy. I’m still fiddling with that, but it’s close. I trust you with it. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to swipe my work. Besides, I can use all the feedback I can get. I’m looking into self-publishing it now.”

“Interesting,” I say. “What was it that Patterson did again?”

“He owned Higgins House. It’s a small press. He had a ton of authors working under him. He was very close to securing my contract.” And to think I was about to do that with my body. Her cheeks turn crimson. I’m not thrilled about what happened. Jasper made me do it. Just seeing him brought those old feelings alive in me. Too bad Bizzy is in the way. But, like Camila said, most marriages end in divorce. Come to think of it, maybe I will take Jasper up on that lunch date.

Lunch date?

I straighten in horror. What the hell is happening?

Georgie points her way. “Is that why you offed the guy?” She winks. “Because he wasn’t interested in your regency porn?”

I couldn’t have phrased it better myself.

“No.” Hadley looks flustered, but she laughs nonetheless. “I can assure you I had no part in his demise.” Okay, so I had a part in it, but those words are not ever leaving my mouth. “If anyone had a reason to off him, it was Devan.”

“Devan Abner?” I pull back because she’s just caught me off guard.

She nods before taking a sip of her iced latte. “That was his ex-wife. They claim to have had one of those new agey conscious uncouplings, but the tension and the bitterness last night were palpable. Something was brewing, that’s for sure. As soon as she agreed to let him choose the selection and show his face at the Grim Readers, I thought something was off. I thought to myself, that woman is up to no good.”

Sort of like you, I want to say but flex a dry smile instead.

“Do you think Devan was capable of murder?” I ask.

She gives a quick glance around. “Not under normal circumstances. But he was pushing her.”

“In what way?”

She shakes her head. “You’ll have to ask her.”

“Where do you think I can find her?”

“She’s a mushroom farmer.” She shrugs. “Weird, right? I think she mentioned her place was out in Bramble Point. Abner Farms.” She nods. “She went into business with a few of her friends. Organic mushroom farming.” She makes a face. “Odd career choice. But she likes books, and that’s what keeps us tethered.” Patterson kept us tethered, too, just not in any way either of us wanted. She sighs as she reaches into her bag and produces three large paperbacks. “Here are those advanced reader copies I promised.” She passes one out to each of us, and I take a moment to look at the cover. It’s a blonde who looks remarkably like Hadley herself, and the male model looks as if he could be one of Jasper’s brothers. She’s wearing a corseted red dress and his hands are precariously close to second base. “I’m just dying for you to read my book.”

Mom and Georgie dive right on in, and I’m tempted to do so myself.

The class wraps up, and I collect Fish before we leave.

How did it go, Bizzy? Fish mewls in my arms as we get into the car.

“It went exceptionally well, and just as terrible. But mostly terribly,” I tell her.

Mom laughs. “Don’t worry, Bizzy. I won’t envision Jasper in all those steamy scenes as I read the book. I’ll be thinking about Romero.”

“Oddly, that doesn’t make me feel too much better.”

“Heads-up, Biz,” Georgie says as we buckle up. “I’ll be envisioning you and Jasper just the way God intended.”

“Too bad Hadley didn’t intend it to be that way.”

I have a feeling I’m not going to like this book, and I haven’t even hit page one.

Here’s hoping it doesn’t give me nightmares.

Something tells me it will.

Chapter 7

“Regency porn,” I say as I close the book on my lap.

What’s that? Clyde yowls as she jumps from the sofa and prances over to where Sherlock is curled up by the hearth.

Bizzy is reading about kissy stuff. Fish lashes my arm with her tail as she sits beside me. Jasper and Bizzy love to engage in it. One