The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

“No. I don’t think you’re an asshole. You have every right to live your life. You’ve been an amazing friend to me and my brother. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s me. I really wish I didn’t care about any of this. If I’m acting weird, it’s because…”

Oh no.

No, no, no.

What the hell was I about to admit? I needed to tape my mouth shut because I apparently had no control over it right now.

His jaw tightened. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” My heart pounded. “Never mind.”

“Tell me,” he prodded.

“Please drop it, okay?” I whispered.

He did. He said nothing else, and I was grateful.

Tension filled the air for the remainder of the ride. Jace eventually turned on some music as a buffer, but from my perspective at least, it didn’t help. Not at all, because the song that played—“Drive” by Halsey—was about a girl who’s in love with someone and doesn’t know how to tell him. As they drive around together, she hides her feelings, which eat her up inside. Great. The universe sure knew how to play games.

Jace finally pulled into the strip mall where the café was located.

He put the truck in park and turned to me. “Be careful.”

“Okay,” I said, exiting as quickly as possible.

Jace waited for me to enter the café before he drove off.

Once inside, I ordered a coffee and sat alone at my table, stewing over the fact that I’d almost confessed how I felt about him.

I was pretty sure my feelings would have come as no surprise to him, because why else would I have lashed out like that? I’d treated him unfairly for doing something men do every day.

About an hour into my café rumination, my phone chimed.

Jace: You okay?

My heartbeat accelerated as I typed.

Farrah: Yup.

The dots danced as he responded.

Jace: How are you getting home?

Kellianne had texted me a few minutes before Jace did. So I did have a ride. I told the truth.

Farrah: Kellianne is picking me up here. We’re going to dinner and then to The Iguana later for Pour Your Heart Out.

Jace: What happened with the guy you met?

Ugh. I hated lying.

Farrah: A dud.

After about a minute, he responded.

Jace: Stay safe tonight.

Farrah: You too.

My head spun. I needed to get a life, needed to move past these feelings for a man who couldn’t return them. Feeling a bit out of control, I knew I needed to do something tonight to expend all of this energy—and fast. I needed a distraction.

Chapter 6

Jace

Nathan walked in early that evening and seemed surprised to see I had a guest.

“Oh, hey. I wasn’t sure if you’d be home,” he said.

“Yeah. We were just hanging out.”

Nathan coming home and catching me with Alyssa was exactly what I’d aimed for—and the only reason I’d brought her back here this afternoon. After the other day when he’d accosted me about my time in the pool with Farrah, I needed to distract him. I’d wanted both Nathan and Farrah to see me with her. I knew Nathan had gotten a one-day gig helping a friend paint a rental property, so I’d made sure Alyssa and I would still be at the house when he returned.

The mood with Alyssa was definitely ruined after I’d left to take Farrah to the coffee shop. She gave me an attitude after I returned. Apparently, she’d looked out the window of my bedroom and gotten a glimpse of Farrah. She’d grilled me about whether there was something going on with my “roommate.” I did my best to explain that Farrah was like a sister to me, but apparently I was no better at convincing Alyssa of that than I was at convincing myself.

I hadn’t been able to get Farrah off my mind all afternoon. My response to her meeting some dude was a bit of an overreaction. But I refused to let myself analyze why I’d blown it way out of proportion. Whatever strange feelings I’d been experiencing toward her lately needed to go. I mean, what the fuck? Why was I suddenly thinking about Nathan’s little sister all the time? It made no sense. And it needed to stop.

After I introduced Nathan to Alyssa, the three of us sat outside by the pool and popped open a few beers. I lit up a stogie for the first time in ages and tried to relax. I probably needed something a fuck of a lot stronger than a cigar.

“Where’s Farrah?” Nathan asked.

Alyssa gave me side eye as I answered.

“She apparently had a date. Her car shit the bed again, so I gave her a ride to the café over by the shopping plaza.” I puffed and blew out some smoke.

His eyes narrowed. “A date with who?”

“Some guy. Name’s Sheridan. She said she met him online. I texted her after to make sure she was okay, and she said he was a dud.”

“How’s she getting home?”

“Kellianne was picking her up. I told her not to get into that guy’s car. Hopefully she’s telling the truth.”

Nathan stared out at the pool. “She’d better be.”

“I think she’s smart enough not to do anything dumb.” I blew out more smoke, feeling relieved that Nathan seemed concerned about this other guy.

Alyssa suddenly hopped out of her chair. “Mind if I go for a swim?”

“Do you have a bathing suit?” I asked.

“No. But I can just go in my bra and underwear, if you don’t mind.”

Blowing smoke rings, I said, “Whatever floats your boat.”

Alyssa pulled her dress over her head, and her tits bounced in her bra. Nathan’s eyes practically bugged out of their sockets as he gawked at her. Before he could stare too long, she dove into the pool and began to swim laps. We watched her until Nathan interrupted the silence.

“So, I didn’t want to ask you in front of Alyssa, but how did it go at the bank?”

One thing I’d managed to do today