The Crush by Ward Penelope (best book recommendations txt) 📕

was take my mind off the problems at work. “Looks promising that we’re gonna get approved for a loan. They just had to run some reports and look a little closer at our numbers. The guy I spoke to said I should know something within a week.”

“Good. I’ll be crossing my fingers for you.”

“Thanks.”

He looked over again at Alyssa, who was still swimming from one end of the pool to the other.

“What’s the deal with this hot blonde? She’s smokin’.”

I shrugged. “Swiped right. It’s new. Too early to tell.”

He chuckled. “Linnea’s totally out of the picture?”

“Yeah. It didn’t work out.”

“Why not?”

“She…wanted more than I could give her right now.”

“Well, feel free to pass them my way when you’re done, especially this one.” He smiled from behind his beer bottle. “Just kidding. I know our rule still stands.”

He was referring to our agreement never to touch each other’s “leftovers.” Only once had Nathan and I truly gotten into it over a girl, and that was Kaylee Little in middle school. We nearly lost our friendship over that one. I guess the hormones at that age made things crazier than they should have been.

Nathan definitely didn’t have the luck I did in the female department. He would always comment on how I could get any woman I wanted. I suppose he had a point, but honestly, sometimes I enjoyed more of a chase. There was something arousing about wanting someone you couldn’t have.

And now I’m thinking about Farrah again. I shook my head. Forcing myself to think of something else, I remembered something I needed to tell Nathan.

“Oh, I meant to let you know, my mother might have gotten you a job lead. She spoke to this woman at her church. Her husband owns the dealership on Route One.”

“Really?”

“The Ford one.”

“Yeah. Billings Ford. That’s one of the bigger ones.” His expression brightened. “Man, that would be awesome.”

“She’s getting me the details. I’ll pass them along as soon as I have them.”

“Wow. Thanks. For that and…for everything.”

Guilt set in again. “You don’t have to thank me again for staying here. It’s benefitting me just as much as it’s benefitting you because I’m not ready to buy anything. Besides, I sure as hell don’t want to be living with my parents.”

“Do you think you’re staying in Palm Creek? I mean, if Phil gets better and doesn’t need you anymore, you’ll go back to North Carolina, right?”

I took another drag of my cigar and slowly exhaled. “I don’t know. There are definitely things I missed about Florida. I’m just trying to be happy day to day, trying not to worry too much about the future.”

“I wish I could be like you,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“I wish I could not worry about the future. I worry about everything. Maybe it’s just the instability of not having a job that’s freaking me out. I worry about that, and I also worry about Farrah way too much.”

I swallowed. “Why are you worried about Farrah? She seems to have her shit together better than both of us.”

“I don’t know. I sometimes feel...like I’m holding her back. Like she wouldn’t be here in Florida if it weren’t for me. When she was younger, she always used to say she was going to college out of state. But she hasn’t completed more than a couple of classes at the community college. She’s stuck in limbo, and I can’t help wondering what she’d be doing if things were different. At the same time, I don’t know what I’d do without her here.”

“She does care about you. I agree that she’d be very hesitant to leave you and move, but no one is really stopping her, either. It’s still her choice in the end. There’s nothing holding her back from enrolling in college when she’s ready. She’ll come around.”

He gazed out at the pool. “She hides a lot of her pain, you know? I see her writing shit down a lot at night. I’ll walk by her room, and she’ll close her notebook real fast, like she doesn’t want me to see. What is she hiding from me? She doesn’t talk to me about how she’s feeling. She just puts on a brave face and bottles everything up. I know that’s partly my fault because I can hardly handle talking about stuff myself. It just sucks that she doesn’t have any family to open up to but me—because I suck at it.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m no better when it comes to opening up about difficult shit.”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “We both suck.”

Alyssa emerged from the pool, her nipples fully visible through her wet bra. Nathan’s mouth once again hung open. It was a little embarrassing.

“That was amazing. I feel so refreshed.” She wrapped herself in a towel, and just like that, Nathan’s little show was over.

The three of us ended up grilling some hotdogs for dinner, and Alyssa threw together a salad with the vegetables we had left in the crisper. We ate by the pool as the sun went down.

I could tell Alyssa was still annoyed that our time together earlier in my room had never amounted to anything. She kept hinting that she had nowhere to be tonight, but I wasn’t feeling it. So I made up an excuse.

I stood and announced, “I actually told my parents I’d come by their place tonight. I can drive you home on the way.”

Her lashes fluttered. “Oh...I assumed we were going to be hanging out tonight.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Another time.”

Alyssa grabbed her stuff and seemed silently annoyed as we got into my truck. She didn’t have much to say when I dropped her off either.

After I left her house, I happened to pass the block where The Iguana was located. Farrah had told me she was headed there tonight. I wondered if maybe she’d lied about it so I wouldn’t get on her case about getting in that dude Sheridan’s car.

Curiosity got the best of me. I knew I’d regret it,