Laid Bare: Essays and Observations by Judson, Tom (read 50 shades of grey .TXT) 📕

Jankowski, who thinks of himself as some kind of deputy. Normally we wouldn’t put too much stock in a call from Stewy, but Burt Hendricks backed up his story so H.Q. figured we oughta take a look. I didn’t imagine he would be too difficult to spot. Heck, traffic is so light in this part of the Panhandle he’d like as not be the only car on the road. Sure enough, I saw him coming the opposite direction and made a U-turn and pulled him over. He expressed surprise when informed that his headlight was out, saying he had just replaced it the day before. I asked him to get out of the vehicle and the suspect complied politely. To be honest, I have to say he exhibited a friendly respect throughout the investigation. Well, until Patrolman Steeves showed up, anyway. When Mr. Judson—that was his name, Judson—walked to the front of the car and saw his headlight was functioning properly I informed him of the actual reason for pulling him over. He sort of stammered and appeared a little flustered at first, but when I asked his permission to frisk him he calmed down some. It has been my experience that most people seem to tense up when they’re frisked, but Mr. Judson didn’t seem to have a problem with it. I asked his permission to search his vehicle (and assured him, no, it wouldn’t be necessary to do a strip-search) and he immediately assented to the request. ‘Sure, go ahead, I know I don’t have anything,’ he said as I looked under the seats and in the glove compartment. I was surprised to learn he was driving cross-country in this particular vehicle, but he said he had had no problems up to this point. Normally I don’t converse much during a search, but, as I mentioned, he seemed friendly and like he wasn’t hiding anything. He was sort of thinking out loud wondering how the claim against him might have been filed when he said, ‘A-ha! I know what it is you’re looking for.’ He really said ‘A-ha,’ like in a book or something. He then took me around the rear of the vehicle and opened the trunk. Sitting on top of his luggage was a large Zip-loc bag containing a variety of pills. He said, ‘Vitamins. Just a bunch of vitamins and supplements.’ He said he figured this was easier than carrying around a bunch of bottles. He guessed that was what Stewy took to be drugs. He was looking for his address book to get his sister’s number to call her for Mother’s Day when Stewy and Burt were hanging around. After a brief search of the trunk I called in a report to H.Q. and got word back that Patrolman Steeves would come to meet us with the drug-testing kit which would determine the nature of these pills. Being as the day was extremely hot, and Steeves was clear across the county when he called, I invited Tom, uh, Mr. Judson to wait with me in the patrol car. Y’see, his vehicle had no air conditioning. I was fairly certain his story was true, because if you’re guilty you’re gonna be a little nervous in a patrol car, but Tom seemed right at ease. He was telling me about his drive from New York and asking me questions about Oklahoma and about my job—he seemed especially interested in the official Highway Patrol uniform. I asked him if some of those supplements were for bodybuilding, ‘cause I work out pretty hard myself, and he seemed pretty happy to talk about all that. Said he could sure take some pointers from me, which I took as a compliment, for sure. I admit I was kinda surprised to find out he was almost 10 years older than me. I asked him if he had been through Louisville on his way out, ‘cause Diane—that’s my fiancée—she’s probably gonna be moving there for work. Tom sure thought it was cool when I told him Diane’s a jockey! Don’t know why that tickled him so much. Maybe he likes horses or something, I dunno. Anyway, Tom and I were comparing our leg routines when Fordy Steeves pulled up…”

Medford Steeves, Oklahoma Highway Patrol:

“2:28 P.M. I make visual contact with Patrolman Young’s vehicle, which is stationed in front of suspect’s vehicle. I am initially surprised to see suspect in passenger seat of P’man Young’s vehicle. I discuss situation with P’man Young and determine suspect is unarmed and not dangerous. Suspect attempts to converse but is rebuffed. P’man Young and I confer re. bag of pills. Initial conclusion supports suspect’s claim that pills are vitamins, but I test them to be sure. Test confirms pills are vitamins. Based on witnesses’ claim of seeing drugs, I determine suspect’s vehicle should be searched more thoroughly. When I remove rear seat suspect becomes somewhat agitated (moreso when I enlarge tear in headliner for visual confirmation.) I replace rear seat—no, sir, not because suspect insisted, because I desired to leave suspect with a good impression of the Oklahama Highway Patrol--and told suspect he was free to go. As I pull away I see suspect exchange words with P’man Young who then signals ‘all clear’ as suspect continues west on Route 64 toward the state line.”

Diane Haverford, jockey:

“I don’t know, maybe Mike’s just needs a break. First he tells me he’s not sure he wants to get married at all right now. I mean, I already told everyone. But, then he asks me if there are any good race tracks in California—San Francisco—because he thinks maybe he’d like to move out there. Oh--and this is weird—he wanted to know if I mind if he wears his uniform around the house. I think maybe I’m having second thoughts about all this myself. I was telling my girlfriend Andi about it, and she thinks I should wait; that I could just move in