The Dark Lord Bert 2 by Chris Fox (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📕

one’s attention. Her sprint carried her onto a game trail that paralleled a stream, and a few trout even splashed in the water.

Kit bounded over it, then raced along the stream bank as she surged after the faintly glowing trail her spell still revealed. Boberton had passed this way not one day ago, as the occasional large paw print in the mud attested.

The prints came closer together, suggesting the dog had broken into a sprint. Kit galloped beside the trail, which led to a towering redwood. The scent of chocolate billowed from windows a quarter of the way up the tree, laced with a sharper scent, pungent and all too familiar.

“Wow, that smells really good.” Nutpuncher’s head popped out of a nearby fern. “Do you think they’ll give us some?”

Kit rippled back into elf form, then mounted the first step spiraling up to the front door. “They’ll happily feed us. Just a warning…be careful how much you eat. A single Lembass cookie can feed you for a whole day.”

Nutpuncher hopped from step to step behind her, and she wished she could relax into the adventure and just have fun. The gnome got there so effortlessly, the way she’d used to do.

Kit could make out singing as they approached, or humming to be more accurate. She reached the door just as it opened, and a blond elf maiden that could have passed for her cousin blinked out at her. “Oh, hello. Please…come in.”

The woman moved away from the door, and gestured at the interior of the tree house. Two other elves were working with dough and laying out trays of cookies for the oven, while the woman carried an axe that looked like it might be used for firewood.

The maiden wore a tie-dyed shirt with rainbow patterns, and the type of tinted sunglasses that had become iconic in the 1960s. Kit sighed, but under her breath, and tried not to fault whomever had created the “high elves”.

Behind the woman a still smoking bong sat on the table next to a half eaten tray of cookies. Mouth watering cookies. Kit ignored the growl of her stomach. “I apologize for showing up unannounced. We’re searching for a friend of ours. A tiny goblin. Have you seen him?”

“I don’t think so.” The woman blinked blankly in Kit’s direction. “I’d remember a goblin, I think.”

“Are you certain?” Kit shoved her hand into her pocket, where it balled into a fist. She mustn’t lose patience. “There are paw prints down below from his dog, Boberton. A big demo dog with two heads.” She had no idea how large Boberton had gotten, but if the tracks were any indication, he’d grown very large indeed.

“Oh.” The woman blinked at her over the sunglasses, exposing her bloodshot eyes. “Yeah, I remember the dog. He ate a TON of cookies. We sent down couple dozen trays.”

“Thank you so much.” Kit released a tension she hadn’t known she’d been holding. Bert had been this way, and they couldn’t be terribly far behind him. “Do you know where he was going?” They could follow the trail, but knowing a destination might mean she could get them there faster with magic.

“I don’t remember. They might have said.” She turned back to the pair of elves making cookies. Well one of them was making cookies. The other sat eating batter out of a bowl with two fingers, eyes just as bloodshot as his companions. “Hey, do you guys remember where the dog was going?”

“To the capital.” The elf with the bowl got out around the half of his hand stuck in his mouth. “The lake.”

“Wonderful.” The tension returned.

“Isn’t that good news?” Nutpuncher had remained silent, and Kit had assumed he wasn’t paying attention.

“It is.” She didn’t feel like explaining that her family lived in the capital. There were elves there that would recognize her, and while she might not have any real attachment to them she’d have to roleplay, and that might mean indulging their…lifestyle. She turned back to the elf woman. “Thank you for your time.”

“Don’t you want some cookies?” She plucked one off the tray she’d been eating from and offered it to Kit.

“I’ll take one, thank you.” Kit accepted the cookie, and wrapped it in a handkerchief as she stuffed it into her pack.

“I’ll take five.” Nutpuncher hopped from foot to foot. “And one for right now if that’s okay.”

The elf woman hummed as she fetched the cookies. High elves loved feeding other people even more than they enjoyed being high, cooking, and eating.

“Here you go!” She handed Nutpuncher a little sack, which he slung over his shoulder. “Best of luck on your travels. Hope you find the dog. I can’t even imagine how big he’ll get after that many Lembass cookies.”

A terrifying thought. Kit gave a little wave, then guided Nutpuncher back outside. They threaded back down to the forest where she didn’t even need a Ghostly Trail spell.

Boberton’s wide prints trotted next to the stream bank, and were quite easy to follow. By tomorrow they’d have reached the capital, and even if she had to deal with family Kit couldn’t wait to be reunited with her little friend.

17

The Eye of Soreness

Bert pushed the rock up and down many hills, mostly up, and remained thankful for his ability to remove the fatigued condition. This would have been an exhausting adventure if he’d had to sleep every time he got tired. Plus, he and Boberton still had a supply of cookies, which hadn’t been vanishing nearly as quickly as Bert would have expected.

Boberton barely ate anything at all, just a few cookies each evening, and yet he had so much energy. The dog pranced around Bert as he pushed the rock, but was very careful not to get close. Bert had told him it was dangerous, and Boberton was a very good listener.

Despite the fact that pushing the rock wasn’t that difficult Bert had begun to find it rather boring, so he made for the largest cave, which also