The Dark Lord Bert 2 by Chris Fox (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📕

A tremendous orange glow came from within, and Bert could feel the heat, which was much greater than that the rock produced. It boiled the sweat right off Bert, which meant he wouldn’t even need his clean spell.

“Okay, boy, let’s see if someone lives here.” Bert waddled forward as he pushed the rock up over the lip and into the cavern.

The ground within was smooth black glass, and it appeared the tunnel he’d entered was some sort of lava tube. In the distance he could see that the tunnel descended, and ended at the edge of a curious wall.

Bert pushed the rock into a corner, removed the fatigue condition one last time, and approached the wall. It was different from the lava tube. This one had been shaped. It was too flat, and someone had made marks with a chisel.

He crept around the wall, which opened into a narrow hallway. Bert squinted down at the sandy floor within, but there were no footprints. It didn’t appear that anyone had passed by recently.

The tunnel was wide enough for the rock to fit through, but too small for Boberton, which meant that Bert would have to leave his friend behind.

“Boberton.” Bert turned back to his furry friend. “Stay here and guard rock? Make sure no one touch?”

Lefty nodded dutifully, but Righty had fallen asleep again. It had been an awfully long hike and Bert could scarcely hold it against the dog.

Bert plunged into the corridor, and hurried along the sandy floor until it arrived in a massive cavern. The entire floor was filled with pathways, and after a moment he realized he was looking at a labyrinth.

“Bert fly!” He drifted up over the maze, and zoomed past it to the far side. If he had designed it he’d have given the maze a roof to prevent people from cheating precisely as he was.

Bert reached the far side of the labyrinth, which followed a wide stairway ending at a cliff overlooking a pit of lava. Bert crept toward the oppressive heat, and froze when he spied movement high above.

About halfway up the volcano’s shaft floated a large disembodied eye…made completely from flame. It stared down at Bert like a maiden might eye a rat, and Bert believed that if the frightened eye could have climbed out of the volcano and run away it probably would have.

“Bert sorry,” he called up apologetically. “Bert come into mountain to hide bad rock. Not know you live here. Hope that okay.”

The flaming eye blinked down at him. It didn’t resemble a person’s eye. Their pupils were round, and most definitely not made from fire. This eye was made from fire, and the pupil was a single slit, like a dragon, or a cat, or a…floating eye.

“Oh, ah, hello,” the eye thrummed, though it wasn’t clear where the words came from. “I’m terribly sorry, but you startled me. I’ve been alone for quite some time. I didn’t expect visitors. Welcome to Mount Dhuuum. I am the Eye of Soreness.”

“Bert’s name Bert.” He pointed at his chest to indicate himself. “Bert Dark Lord of Tomb of Deadly Death.”

“You said you wanted to hide a rock?” The eye leaned a bit closer, and the heat became even more oppressive than the lava. “This is a perfect place to hide ancient magical treasures! Why I’ve forged all sorts of things here. Rings mostly. I ran a pyramid scheme for a long time, but it kind of went tits up once they figured it out. The elves were pretty pissed, and the men? Well they can hold a grudge even worse than those furry-footed bastards.”

“So Bert can hide rock here?” Bert hadn’t tracked all of that. Something about making pyramids, but the important thing was whether or not he could hide the rock here, and that he might have made a new friend.

“Of course!” The eye bobbed up and down, then blinked in what appeared to be pain. “Oww, that smarts.”

“What Eye’s problem?” Bert wrung his hands. He didn’t like the idea that the poor eye might be in pain.

“Well, I’m on fire, you see, which is a bit of a problem.” The eye winced as it explained. “But never you mind that. I’m just excited to see this place become a proper dungeon again. It hasn’t been used like that for ages. Say, do you mind if I contact some friends? We could do a little dungeon-warming party. More hands make light work, especially when you don’t have hands.”

Bert rather liked the Eye of Soreness, and imagined any friends of it would probably be friends of his. “Okay! Bert happy to meet friends.”

“While we’re on the subject…I’ll put out the word for applicants.” The eye bobbed up and down happily.

“Applicants?” Bert blinked up at the eye.

“For your dungeon.” The eye blinked down at him as if that should have been evident. “I assume you want it fully stocked.”

Bert considered that. Monsters killed adventurers, and scared everyone else. That would make people not want to come near here, so they’d stay away from the rock. He nodded up at the eye. “Okay, Bert would love to meet monster friends.”

“Splendid!” The eye bobbed again.

“Bert going to go feed dog, and get bad rock. Be back soon!” He gave his new friend a wave, and started back the way he had come.

Bert dutifully retraced his steps, and found Boberton sitting directly in front of the rock with his best growly face on. He waddled up as quickly as he could manage, waving frantically…he’d really missed the dog.

Boberton bounded to his feet and danced joyously around Bert. It was impressive how the large dog avoided stepping on the tiny goblin, and important as Bert still only had one hit point.

“Bert take rock inside.” Bert moved over to the ground to assemble new dirt mittens. “Boberton will need to stay outside, but Bert can bring food. Bert going to set up dungeon inside. New friends coming to see us!”

Boberton’s tail wagged furiously,