Exes and Exorcisms by Keira Blackwood (animal farm read TXT) 📕

mist. “Demon, I command you to leave this cat at once!”

“I meant that you should tear him off.” Marla coughed and gagged and keeled over.

His Lordship sneezed, dropped gracefully to the floor and looked at all of us one by one.

“Oops,” Kelly said. “I thought you meant I should spray you.”

“Nope.” Marla rubbed her red eyes and dropped down to the floor.

His Lordship hissed and shook his whole body. His fur matted and puffed in weird ways, like he needed a bath. He scowled, too, or gave a cat approximation of a scowl.

“Is he better?” Kelly asked.

“Looks better,” Marla said.

“How about everyone else?” Kelly said. “Everyone feeling all right?”

We all said we were fine.

I squatted down and looked His Lordship in the eye. He looked back with a sneer. “Yeah, I think he’s better.”

Grayson glared back at the cat. “Looks more like the hell beast I remember.”

His Lordship dove at Grayson, cut through his pant leg and bounced off before running for the slightly-open door and disappearing into the alley.

“You offended him,” Marla said, with a fangy grin.

“Or the smell did.” Grayson offered Marla a hand up, which she took.

“Speaking of smell,” Marla said, “I could really use a shower.”

Marla headed for the stairs. Kelly cut her off and gave her a cautious grin. “So remember how I mentioned Peter in your room.”

“Kelly,” she said, with her hands on her hips. “You are not only the worst pet-sitter, you’re the worst house-sitter, too.”

Kelly put out a pouty lip.

“Hug?” Marla offered, a sly grin on her face.

Kelly quickly backed away. “You can use my shower. Borrow whatever you need.”

“Thanks.” Marla headed upstairs.

Kelly went to get a trash bag to clean up, leaving me and Grayson standing there alone.

“How’d you two meet?” I asked.

“The cat stole my credit card,” he said.

Kelly returned with the bag, and Grayson and I helped her toss the packaging from the demon spray ingredients. I couldn’t believe the spray had worked, but that was two successful exorcisms from the weird radio host. Next time, I wouldn’t doubt whatever crazy thing he told us to do. But, I hoped there wasn’t a next time.

“Your phone is buzzing,” Kelly said, pointing to where I’d left it on the counter. She was closest to it, and reached for the phone so she could hand it to me.

Panic clenched my heart in my chest. It had to be Clyde.

“Wait,” I said.

“I’m just getting it for you,” she said. She grabbed my phone, glanced at the screen, and started to hand it over.

Then she looked back at the screen, her brow furrowing.

“What?” she said, lifting her head so she could face me. Betrayal etched into her expression.

“It’s not what it looks like,” I said.

She gave a brittle laugh. “So says every man who’s been caught being an arsehole.”

“Really—”

She stormed over and slammed the phone into my chest. “Get out.”

“Kelly, really—this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Out,” Kelly said, her tone more forceful.

From the stairwell, Marla yelled down to Grayson. “She wants him gone, he’s gone.”

Grayson stepped between me and Kelly. Whatever friendly rapport we’d had was out the window.

“You heard the ladies,” Grayson said, his voice cold and merciless.

I hadn’t even looked at the message yet, but I knew it must be bad. I didn’t care what it said—I needed to convince Kelly that what we had was more important than whatever she could’ve read. “Kelly, I can explain.”

“Don’t,” she said.

Grayson pushed me back, leading me toward the door, and I let him. We could fight. I wanted to fight for Kelly, more than anything. But I wasn’t the kind of man who punched first and explained later. Not anymore.

As soon as I was standing on the sidewalk, the door slammed in my face.

I looked down at my phone to read the text from Clyde.

DONE KILLING FORBIDDEN’S vampire scum yet? I’ve got another job for you.

KELLY WASN’T SCUM. Marla wasn’t either. Hell, even Peter was okay. I wasn’t the man I used to be when we’d dated before, and I wasn’t even the same man that I was when I’d arrived in Forbidden.

Whatever it took, I’d make this right. If only Kelly would give me a chance.

16

KELLY

The banishing dildo mocked me from its Louboutins box. After Xavier had found it, I’d brought it to my apartment and set it next to the door, meaning to ask Cordelia how to get rid of it once and for all.

Instead of getting rid of the dildo, I could get rid of Xavier once and for all. But maybe that wouldn’t be necessary. Three days had gone by, and he’d called and texted, but he hadn’t dared to show up again.

He was actively working to kill us. Vampire scum.

He’d said he could explain...but there was no explaining that. I’d known he was a vampire hunter, but I hadn’t realized he and his buddies thought so little of us. I hadn’t realized the hatred went so deep.

The window was cracked open to let some fresh air into my apartment. The place still carried Xavier’s scent, all citrus and cedar, and I’d had enough.

“Argh! What a first-rate arsehole!” I shouted.

His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins, skulking in a sunny spot next to the window, hissed at me, and I hissed back. Marla knocked on my door and opened it without invitation, a sympathetic expression on her face and a fancy tea cup in her hand.

“I brought you a comforting drink,” she said.

“Tea? I’m not into that stuff, even if I’m still British and it’s a stereotype.”

“No,” she said, waving her hand over the top of the cup to waft its scent toward me.

“Blood,” I said. “And a hint of whiskey?”

She grinned, showing her fangs. “That’s right.”

“You’re my best friend,” I said.

“I know. But don’t tell Aubrey.”

“She already knows,” I said. “Omniscient Aubrey. So she’ll know she’s my best friend, too.”

“Truth.” Marla handed me the cup. “I think His Lordship wants to go outside.”

Sure enough, the cat was growling as he lifted a scraggly black