Exes and Exorcisms by Keira Blackwood (animal farm read TXT) 📕

leg to the screen, plucking at it. I had to hurry up and let him out before he shredded the entire thing. This window was currently on its fifth screen. All I had to do was walk into Forbidden Hardware, and Caleb would rush off to grab me a new one in the same size.

“Coming, Your Lordship,” I said, and popped the screen out of the frame just in time to save it from his next assault.

He leaped onto the ledge and from there followed a path of window ledges, hopping until he reached the dumpster below and nimbly jumped atop it. Looking past him, I could see why it had suddenly been important for him to escape. Meowcus Anthony and Snowball were at it again—circling each other and sniffing the air, their gazes coy. One minute looking at one another, the next glancing away.

“Come here,” I said, waving Marla over.

She joined me at the window. “More of your cat soap operas?”

“The drama,” I said. “The intrigue!” What I didn’t say aloud was that the drama in the alley was the only thing keeping me sane. Nothing else could detract from Xavier’s lying, vampire-killing ways. Nothing else could soothe me from the pain of his absence.

Marla and I quietly watched the drama unfold. A fourth cat entered, stage left. A Snowball lookalike.

“Who’s that?” Marla gasped.

“I believe it’s Snowball’s long-lost twin,” I said. “Back from the dead, ready to start her second? No, third! Life.”

“So she only has six lives left,” Marla said.

“Yeah. She needs to start using them better.” Sort of like me. I needed to use my life better. Maybe Ben would take me on as an apprentice or an intern for his radio show. I loved art, but I’d also love to use my voice to help people kick demon ass. And knowing how to kick demon ass might also protect my sisters and me from the Collector.

While Snowball and her evil twin, Flurry, faced off in the alley, my toe started tapping. I looked down at it. A melody started up in my brain, and I groaned and started singing along. Then my limbs started moving in the most odd-looking dance imaginable.

I was vaguely aware of Marla watching me, a look of interest on her face. But my mind was showing me much more fascinating, yet disturbing, images. I was running down a road, my pale cheeks pink from the cold and the exertion. Buildings whipped past me, I was running so fast. And then a red tour bus, sort of like a trolley, barreled down the street.

I yelled out for something, my words unintelligible. The bus hit me. I felt the crunch of my bones and the impact against my stomach.

And then the vision was over.

“Well?” Marla said when I finally stopped singing. “What did your vision tell you?”

I opened my mouth to answer her, but instead of speaking, I started laughing. Huge, braying laughs that I couldn’t stop.

“Kelly?” she said in alarm. “Kelly! What happened?”

Tears of mirth rolled down my cheeks and I wiped them away, gasping. Every time I replayed the vision in my mind, new giggles erupted from my throat.

“Kelly, you’re scaring me,” Marla said. “Here, drink this, and tell me what’s going on.”

I looked at my unfinished cup of blood and whiskey. If I tried to drink that while I was laughing, it would come out my nose, and it would sting like bloody hell and make a mess, too. Shaking my head, I pushed her hand away and focused on taking deep breaths.

“Well, what was it? Some kind of epic joke?” she asked.

“You could say that,” I said. “My man left, our cat’s an asshole again, and sometime in the future, I’m going to get hit by a bus.”

Marla stared into my eyes, her blue ones showing concern. “Kelly, that’s not funny.”

“What?” I said. “It’s not like I’m going to die or anything. You think a bus can kill a vampire?”

“It could, if it pushes you against a wooden stake-like object. Did your vision show you that?”

I shook my head. “No, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Well, you don’t look so hot, yourself.”

She put a hand to her hair. “I’m going to kill Peter. I want my own shower back, with my own shampoo.”

“What’s wrong with my shampoo?” I asked, although she didn’t really need to say. Sometimes, you just want your own things. “Will Peter hand yours over?”

“No. I asked, leaving out the whole, you need to move out of Grayson’s and my apartment thing, but he said he likes how it makes him smell.” She shook her head. “So now he’s taken my apartment and my shampoo.”

“I’m sorry. We’ll get him out of there soon.” I made a mental note to find out what kind of shampoo it was, so I could buy some for her to use in the spare apartment, where she and Grayson had been staying. They were currently trying to get it comfortable enough to lure Peter over, but he seemed well-entrenched in their apartment.

Out of nowhere, the images from my vision flashed before my eyes, and I frowned.

“You okay?” Marla asked.

“Yeah.” Not wanting to think about getting hit by a bus anymore, I turned back to the cats in the alley, just in time to see Flurry—or was it Snowball?—launch herself at her sister, claws extended.

17

XAVIER

Everyone screwed up. It was a part of life. The important parts were having the best intentions, admitting when you’d done something wrong, and doing everything in your power to set it right.

I didn’t know if Kelly would forgive me, but that wouldn’t stop me from doing right by her. And I’d explain everything to her once I’d had a chance to fix my mistake.

After I’d left the tattoo parlor, I’d searched Forbidden for one man in particular. Instead of finding him, I found Joe. None of what had happened was his fault, so I was careful not to take it