Yearn by A. Ellis (13 ebook reader TXT) 📕

Jesse sipped a cup of coffee under the dim glow of the security light shining from above his backdoor. “You good?” He cocked his head and studied me.

“Yeah, why?” I had plenty of time before my shift, so it felt wrong to claim time as a reason to rush off. I inwardly groaned as Cooper came out the door with his own cup of coffee and joined Jesse. At least Jesse would hedge, Cooper would full-on grill me.

Jesse gave a little shrug. “You and Dre have just seemed…different since you got back from Indy.”

I swallowed thickly and willed the image of Dre on his knees to vanish. “Different how?”

“Bitch, don’t even,” Cooper started. “Different as in you two used to exist as if the other wasn’t even alive for the most part.”

“Yeah, so? There’s no need to acknowledge each other if it’s just going to be awkward and tense. Plus, neither of us want to bring arguments and shit into Bev’s house. Best to just ignore each other.”

Cooper shook his head and smiled evilly and Jesse was clearly trying to hide a grin. “But that’s what’s different, you two aren’t acting the same. What happened in Indy?”

I narrowed my eyes and did my best to come off as indifferent. “Nothing, why?”

Cooper smirked. “I call bullshit, something happened. There’s always been a tension between you two, no question about that. But now, it’s more than that. There are these heavy glances and it’s evident you’re both going out of your way to dodge each other—not just ignoring like before, more like swimming through the thick blanket of tension and making a point to avoid.”

“Same as before.” I shrugged. “We have to interact at work, we choose to avoid at home.”

Jesse continued to hide his grin behind his coffee cup, but Cooper barreled on. “Nope, I don’t buy it. The animosity and irritation and all the shit that was there before is still present, but there’s something more between you now.” He stepped closer to the fence and studied me. “I recognize sexual tension when I see it and I definitely see it. It’s so thick between you two, I get horny just watching it.”

“You get horny brushing your teeth,” Jesse deadpanned.

Cooper cocked a hip and leered at his man. “Sorry, put something in my mouth and I’m going to want more.” He licked his lips suggestively as Jesse rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Anyway, my call is that something happened in Indy and now you two are trying your damnedest to pretend like you’re not hot for each other, when in reality, you can’t stop thinking about how badly you want a repeat.” Cooper smiled smugly.

I scoffed. “Whatever.” How in the actual fuck did Cooper call that so accurately? He was like some damn mind reader and I didn’t like it. “Dre and I have figured out how to coexist for the most part, but that’s it. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. Anything sexual between us would be a disaster waiting to happen.” Hot, so damned hot, but yeah, a huge mistake.

“Sex doesn’t have to mean trying to build a relationship,” Cooper said.

Jesse cleared his throat. “Contrary to how two of the three recent relationships around here got started,” he joked, referring to how he and Cooper, and Rai and Spencer, started out as just sex before falling madly in love and becoming something more permanent.

Cooper nudged Jesse’s arm. “I’m just saying. Sex can be awesome even if the people involved don’t like each other. Why shy away from the sexual attraction just because you have no intentions of forever after?”

Because feelings get involved? Because I clearly suck at relationships? Because I’m not sure I could have sex with Dre and then spend time with him day-in and day-out without some sort of connection forming.

“There’s no sexual attraction to shy away from,” I said as I checked my phone. “Just two people who don’t particularly care for each other trying to keep the peace for the benefit of Bev and our housemates. There’s no Hallmark love story with a happily ever after here, no matter how badly your romantic little heart wants there to be. Not every story gets a happy ending.”

Cooper stuck his tongue out before grinning suspiciously. “You keep telling yourself that and wearing yourself out trying to avoid the obvious. Meanwhile, my happy little homo heart will continue creating love stories and rooting for them to come true.”

I snorted and turned to leave.

“Just you wait, Khi Harris,” Cooper called to my back. “You’re a major player in my current romantic drama and I’m predicting hot-as-sin enemies-to-lovers sex and a sappy happily ever after!”

I shook my head and threw an arm up in the air to wave him off.

Whatever, Cooper didn’t know anything. Sure, he wanted to create some crazy love story in his head and see me and Dre happy, but shit like that didn’t happen in real life.

Jesse and Cooper? Spencer and Rai? Cruz and Logan? Damn, man, you’re living with three real-life happily ever afters.

Climbing into my car and driving with a bit more anger than was strictly necessary, I shook off the thought. Fine, shit like that didn’t happen to me. I was the trailer park kid from the wrong side of the tracks, I didn’t get happily ever afters. Blaine’s drinking and gambling and cheating crashed through my head as proof that I wasn’t good at relationships and I didn’t deserve the happiness others reveled in when they found their person.

Dre and I spent the next few shifts on random, unexciting calls. We snapped pics and took a commanding lead on the board. Our days off were dedicated to volunteering at the homeless shelter and the animal shelter, reading books during story-hour at the library, visiting sick kids at the hospital, and talking to classes at the school.

As Dre and I spent more time together, I realized with a sinking feeling that I’d come to look forward to his incessant,