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not leave the auditor one moment in doubt;⁠ ⁠… he says nothing, he does nothing, but what paints him to the spectators as a rascal, and sets off the character of the truly virtuous man I put in opposition to him⁠ ⁠…

“If the office of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I know not why any should have a special privilege of exemption. This one [hypocrisy] has consequences far more dangerous to the State than all the others.⁠ ⁠… ’Tis a mighty stroke at any vice to make it the laughingstock of everybody; for men will easily suffer reproof; but they can by no means endure mockery. They will consent to be wicked, but not to be ridiculous.”

Dramatis Personae

Madame Pernelle, mother of Orgon

Orgon, husband of Elmire

Elmire, wife of Orgon

Damis, son of Orgon

Mariane, daughter of Orgon, in love with Valère

Valère, in love with Mariane

Cléante, brother-in-law of Orgon

Tartuffe, a hypocrite

Dorine, Mariane’s maid

Mr. Loyal, a bailiff

A Police Officer

Flipotte, Madame Pernelle’s servant

The Scene is at Paris

Tartuffe Or,
The Hypocrite Act I Scene I Madame Pernelle and Flipotte, her servant; Elmire, Mariane, Cléante, Damis, Dorine. Madame Pernelle

Come, come, Flipotte, and let me get away.

Elmire

You hurry so, I hardly can attend you.

Madame Pernelle

Then don’t, my daughter-in law. Stay where you are.
I can dispense with your polite attentions.

Elmire

We’re only paying what is due you, mother.
Why must you go away in such a hurry?

Madame Pernelle

Because I can’t endure your carryings-on,
And no one takes the slightest pains to please me.
I leave your house, I tell you, quite disgusted;
You do the opposite of my instructions;
You’ve no respect for anything; each one
Must have his say; it’s perfect pandemonium.

Dorine

If⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

You’re a servant wench, my girl, and much
Too full of gab, and too impertinent
And free with your advice on all occasions.

Damis

But⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

You’re a fool, my boy⁠—f, o, o, l
Just spells your name. Let grandma tell you that
I’ve said a hundred times to my poor son,
Your father, that you’d never come to good
Or give him anything but plague and torment.

Mariane

I think⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

O dearie me, his little sister!
You’re all demureness, butter wouldn’t melt
In your mouth, one would think to look at you.
Still waters, though, they say⁠ ⁠… you know the proverb;
And I don’t like your doings on the sly.

Elmire

But, mother⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

Daughter, by your leave, your conduct
In everything is altogether wrong;
You ought to set a good example for ’em;
Their dear departed mother did much better.
You are extravagant; and it offends me,
To see you always decked out like a princess.
A woman who would please her husband’s eyes
Alone, wants no such wealth of fineries.

Cléante

But, madam, after all⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

Sir, as for you,
The lady’s brother, I esteem you highly,
Love and respect you. But, sir, all the same,
If I were in my son’s, her husband’s, place,
I’d urgently entreat you not to come
Within our doors. You preach a way of living
That decent people cannot tolerate.
I’m rather frank with you; but that’s my way⁠—
I don’t mince matters, when I mean a thing.

Damis

Mr. Tartuffe, your friend, is mighty lucky⁠ ⁠…

Madame Pernelle

He is a holy man, and must be heeded;
I can’t endure, with any show of patience,
To hear a scatterbrains like you attack him.

Damis

What! Shall I let a bigot criticaster
Come and usurp a tyrant’s power here?
And shall we never dare amuse ourselves
Till this fine gentleman deigns to consent?

Dorine

If we must hark to him, and heed his maxims,
There’s not a thing we do but what’s a crime;
He censures everything, this zealous carper.

Madame Pernelle

And all he censures is well censured, too.
He wants to guide you on the way to heaven;
My son should train you all to love him well.

Damis

No, madam, look you, nothing⁠—not my father
Nor anything⁠—can make me tolerate him.
I should belie my feelings not to say so.
His actions rouse my wrath at every turn;
And I foresee that there must come of it
An open rupture with this sneaking scoundrel.

Dorine

Besides, ’tis downright scandalous to see
This unknown upstart master of the house⁠—
This vagabond, who hadn’t, when he came,
Shoes to his feet, or clothing worth six farthings,
And who so far forgets his place, as now
To censure everything, and rule the roost!

Madame Pernelle

Eh! Mercy sakes alive! Things would go better
If all were governed by his pious orders.

Dorine

He passes for a saint in your opinion.
In fact, he’s nothing but a hypocrite.

Madame Pernelle

Just listen to her tongue!

Dorine

I wouldn’t trust him,
Nor yet his Lawrence, without bonds and surety.

Madame Pernelle

I don’t know what the servant’s character
May be; but I can guarantee the master
A holy man. You hate him and reject him
Because he tells home truths to all of you.
’Tis sin alone that moves his heart to anger,
And heaven’s interest is his only motive.

Dorine

Of course. But why, especially of late,
Can he let nobody come near the house?
Is heaven offended at a civil call
That he should make so great a fuss about it?
I’ll tell you, if you like, just what I think;

Pointing to Elmire.

Upon my word, he’s jealous of our mistress.

Madame Pernelle

You hold your tongue, and think what you are saying.
He’s not alone in censuring these visits;
The turmoil that attends your sort of people,
Their carriages forever at the door,
And all their noisy footmen, flocked together,
Annoy the neighbourhood, and raise a scandal.
I’d gladly think there’s nothing really wrong;
But it makes talk; and that’s not as it should be.

Cléante

Eh! madam, can you hope to keep folk’s tongues
From wagging? It would be a grievous thing
If, for the fear of idle talk about us,
We had to sacrifice our friends. No, no;
Even if we could bring ourselves to do it,
Think you that everyone would then be silenced?
Against backbiting there is no defence
So let us try to live in innocence,
To silly tattle pay no heed at all,
And leave the

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