Love Croakies by Sam Cheever (the kiss of deception read online .txt) 📕

“Hey. Don’t go full British snotty on me, Pudsy. That wasn’t crude. It was succinct.”

He flapped a pale hand. “Whatever. The last time the anomaly showed up, a sorcerer dared Osvald to try to control it. He managed it quite well for a while, steering it from London to Dublin, Ireland without much trouble at all.”

“But,” I urged, watching Grym head back our way.

“But, the Universe with its infinitely restless nature decided to twist just as he was crossing Dublin Bay. The bubble went off level, started spinning out of control, and Osvald was magically incised.”

My brows lifted into my hairline. “Incised?”

“Luckily…or unluckily for him depending on your viewpoint…he was able to fling his essence into the book he was using to drive the anomaly and preserve himself in the way you see today. It was quite brilliant, actually. Osvald has always been magically talented. He was intricately connected to his books…supernormally speaking. The result was that he succeeded in spreading his essence across every volume he’d ever written.” Archie frowned thoughtfully for a moment as if trying to understand the magic involved in making that happen. Finally, he shook his head to dismiss his thoughts. “The connection was weak at best, but Osvald knew a sorcerer with talents in the area of anchoring. He underwent a magical procedure that anchored him firmly to the volumes. Quite the feat, actually. Though Osvald would later come to think of it as more of a curse than a blessing.”

I frowned. “This happened a Millennia ago?” I was pretty sure I remembered seeing a picture of the professor in fairly modern clothes in one of his books.

“Actually, it was only about fifty years ago.”

“But you said these bubbles only come around once in a Millennia,” I argued.

“Yes, yes, generally. The law of averages puts them into existence about every thousand years. But once in a while one appears outside of that timeframe. It’s been hypothesized that those interim anomalies are less stable. Which might explain why Osvald ended up implanted inside his books.”

“We have a problem,” Grym said as he joined us.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, noting the tightness around his eyes and lips.

“Those cherub things are back. They’re attacking all around the city, and my people are having trouble containing them.” He sighed. “I have to go. Will you wait until I get back before going into the forest?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think we can. The only way to stop these cherub things is to get to Desiree.” Which was an overly optimistic statement since our success hinged on her being cooperative. Even if she was willing, there was no guarantee she’d be any more helpful than Lovelace had been. And he’d been motivated.

Grym held my gaze for a long moment and then sighed. He tapped a finger gently against my chin. “Take care of yourself. Okay?”

“I’m the queen of taking care of myself,” I told him.

Sebille snorted.

I glared at her.

Grym looked at Archie. “Who else can you take?”

“I’ve got someone in mind. Don’t worry. Go do what you need to do.”

Grym nodded and left.

Watching him go, I remembered their visit to the ogres. We’d been so distracted by the location of the demon princess, we hadn’t talked about it. “How’d it go with the ogres?” I asked my uncle. “Did Sebille and I sign away our firstborn children or anything?”

She snorted out a laugh. “As if. I’m never having kids. I have my hands full with the hobgoblin, the frog, and the cat.”

“Worse,” Archie said. “But let’s not focus on that right now. We have bigger fish to fry.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but the dividing door slammed open before I could ask him what he meant. Hobs flashed across the room. The diaper from earlier was gone. In its place was an adorable tuxedo, complete with a polka-dotted bow tie and a matching cummerbund. He’d even combed the light brown thatch of hair between his big ears to one side. The hair made him look like a cute little nerd. He fixed his enormous, light blue eyes on me. “Have you seen her, Miss?”

“Seen who?” I asked, frowning.

“My date, Miss. She should be here.” He cast his gaze around the room. “Where are the cookies?” He stomped an oversized bare foot on the carpet, making the long hairs that decorated his big toe dance. “We need sweets, Miss!”

I held up a hand. I’d never seen him so agitated. “Okay, okay. I might have something upstairs. Don’t get your bowtie in a twist.”

Hobs tucked in his chin and tried to see his bow tie. “It’s twisted?” With a wail, he spun around and retreated back through the dividing door. Presumably to fix his tie.

I cast Sebille a glare.

She threw up her hands. “It’s not me. That hysteria is all his.”

“This stupid holiday is infecting everyone. Is he even old enough to date?” I asked the others.

“He is,” Archie said, typing with his thumbs on his phone. “In hobgoblin years, he’s in his late teens. But there aren’t many hobgoblins around. I’d be surprised if he’d found a girl hobby his own age.”

I shrugged it off. As Archie said, I had bigger fish to fry. But I made a mental note to go get the stash of heart cookies out of my room before we left for the forest. If Hobs was in love, I certainly didn’t want to get in his way.

Lea opened the front door and stuck her head inside. “Hey, Naida. Did you know you had a line of customers out here?”

“I do?” I had a moment of sheer panic. I’d had the store closed all day, and I just realized I’d totally forgotten about the Hearts of Bomb signing. I turned a panicked look on my assistant. “Sebille?”

She accurately read the rattled look in my expression. “I’ve got this.” Hurrying to the tea area, she opened the closet beside the counter and pulled out something that was pink and red and covered