The Nurse by J. Corrigan (list of ebook readers txt) 📕

down into my inner thighs. ‘I’m hoping you’ll cure me of it.’ He paused. ‘C’mon, let’s make a move, or we may never again leave the bedroom.’

We turned and made our way towards the door. As I passed the bed, I ran my fingers over the carvings. The wood was sleek, warm and soothing.

25

15 June 1991

I’d crammed with a lot of help from Tom, and in the end felt reasonably confident about my written exams. Daniel had left me alone, as he’d promised he would. I’d only seen him a few times since the end of April, although he’d called regularly. So when I was summoned to Professor Wilkins’ office three days before the results were posted on the main noticeboard, and a day before the anatomy viva exam, I wasn’t worried, saving my anxiety quota for the placement. I was dreading that.

Wilko – as he was known throughout the school – was famous for his total lack of social etiquette, manners and humour, so I braced myself, knocked and waited. It took him about twenty-five seconds to tell me to enter. He was known for that too. Making you sweat. He was a bit of a bastard, but then all the lecturers were. All men, all old, all dinosaurs, and all more than a little annoyed that women were allowed onto the course, let alone let loose on an unsuspecting society: the hysterical woman – what good can she be in such an objective profession?

Our course was fifteen per cent female, so generally we women stuck together, although sometimes I thought that some of the female students were worse than the men in their misogynist attitudes. I’d noticed how the boys would, without question, cover each other’s backs, but for the girls it wasn’t quite the same scenario. There were five female students in my year, and only one I talked to, although you could never call us friends. The last four years had been lonely, and sometimes I wondered if I’d feel like that my whole career. Was that why I’d fallen for Daniel so quickly? Because as different as we were, we were similar. Lone wolves. Rogue elephants. I liked the second analogy better.

I walked into the stuffy room; Wilko never opened the window. It smelt of stale cigars and old man. He must have been at least seventy, although he looked a hundred and six, and very like the cadavers that littered the anatomy room. It was common knowledge that he’d donated his body; we were all quite pleased that with a bit of luck – or not; it depended which way you looked at it – it wouldn’t be on our table.

I took in a gulp of thick air and the nausea rose in my stomach; I’d felt off for days, and all through the exams. Wilko had his back to me, pulling an ancient book off his bookshelf. Dust filtered through the heavy atmosphere of the room.

He spoke, still not having turned around.

‘Miss Trahern, do sit.’

I sat and crossed my legs, and another wave of nausea spun through me. I saw a jug of water on his desk. Dare I ask for some? I did. And to my surprise, still with his back towards me, he said, ‘Go ahead.’ I gulped back a whole glass, and by then he’d turned around.

‘Miss Trahern, there is some concern about your exam results.’ He coughed. ‘And your general attitude at the moment. It’s come to my attention that you have not completed the pre-placement study, which Mr Warner was expecting to receive in the post last week at the latest.’

‘I sent it, sir, two weeks ago.’ Daniel had posted it for me. He’d come round for a cup of tea and to see how I was doing. He hadn’t wanted to stay long, didn’t want to bother me just before the exams, and had taken the package to the post office. ‘I sent it, sir,’ I repeated. Wilko hated repetition.

‘Well, Mr Warner has not received it, and I’m sorry to inform you, but your written examinations are not looking as we’d hoped they would.’ He peered at me then with what I thought he believed was compassion. A tortured expression, as he had no idea how to achieve the one he was searching for. ‘It can be challenging, medicine. It is a vocation, a calling. It demands total attention.’ I waited; knew it was coming. ‘Difficult for the female to focus sometimes—’

I jumped up; the glass catapulted off the table. ‘That is utter bollocks. And if you don’t know it’s utter bollocks, it’s time you retired… sir.’ God, Rose, what are you saying? Just the truth. It had been building for four years. Longer.

I had to hand it to him, his expression did not change one iota.

‘You have your viva anatomy tomorrow. Be prepared.’

‘More prepared than the men in my class?’ Let it go, Rose.

‘Lip does not make a good doctor.’ He paused. ‘And neither does failing written year-four exams.’

The vomit had made its way into my gullet. I stumbled towards the door. ‘I have a copy of my pre-placement study to send to Mr Warner. I’ll hand-deliver it tomorrow to Leeds Infirmary.’ I would take it there after the viva exam. I’d ask Tom if his dad might give me a lift.

‘See you promptly at nine a.m., Miss Trahern.’

Sweat poured down my cleavage. My breasts ached. Daniel had told me he’d posted it. Maybe it had got lost. I hadn’t asked him to do a recorded delivery. Why hadn’t I?

And my exam results. It was unusual to call a student in to discuss them before they were officially posted on the board. I must have bombed spectacularly. I walked quickly down the corridor to the ladies’. Kicking the door open, I rushed into a cubicle, bent over the toilet and heaved. As I flushed and saw the sand-coloured projection swirl down the bowl, I watched my life flush away too.

Somehow I made my way