Myth 13 - Myth Alliances by Asprin, Robert (ebook reader online free .txt) 📕

“What, that badly?” Oshleen. asked with mock inno?cence, polishing her nails on her designer dress.

Paldine ignored her. “... for an exclusive license to dis?tribute on Scamaroni.”

Vergetta grinned, a sight that made the vermin in the al?ley flee, squeaking. “For which you made him pay through the nose, of course.”

“If you call that outrageous protuberance in the middle of their faces a nose, yes,” Paldine replied. “He would have promised me anything to get his hands on them. He thinks he can sell a thousand a month in this town alone, and plans to expand to the capital as soon as he has merchan?dise. I already notified Niki to get the Wuhses to start man?ufacturing more.”

“Isn't that putting the cart before the horse, to use a backward expression for a backward place?” Oshleen sneered.

“Listen, window-​dummy, he was wetting himself! At one point in the bargaining I pretended to get insulted at his offer and started to leave. He threw himself in front of the door! In front of a Pervect! The kids fought over the sample unit until one of them broke its arm.” Oshleen's face slowly split into a grin. Paldine nodded smugly. “Yes, you believe me now. We've got a winner, ladies: we're feeding an addiction. We're scratching an itch.” Lines of force were plentiful on Scamaroni. The marketing special?ist reached into the ground for a handful of power. With no effort whatsoever she drew a blanket of nothingness around herself and her two companions, rendering them invisible to the crowd on the street. “The goggles are about to go on sale. It could be a bloodbath. Let's go see the fun.”

Myth 13 - Myth Alliances

TWELVE

“This must be the place!”

C. COLUMBUS

It took three days of number-​crunching and data-​wrangling while the Kobolds worked on reducing their original list of thirty-​five dimensions to the Pervect Ten's most likely destination. Zol saw to it we were housed com?fortably, in a little podlike house that looked like an egg laid by the big building. We were all starting to get indiges?tion from the local food, but none worse than Gleep. Be?tween the starch and the grease of the processed packets, his digestive system was producing stenches beyond all previous efforts, some of which were legendary. In the end I took him miles out beyond the manicured gardens and let him hunt for his own food in the fenlands. Once I had been assured there was nothing sentient out there, I didn't worry about Gleep. Dragon digestive systems are notorious for being able to find nourishment in almost anything.

Gleep dug happily in the marshes, scaring lizard-​frogs and marsh slugs while he looked for something to eat. He emerged from one particularly nasty bog clutching a

football-​sized, grayshelled creature that had far too many spiky legs and eyes. I winced as he crunched on its cara?pace and slurped down eye stalks, all with relish. At least he never seemed to eat anything cute. Or if he did, I mused, I'd never seen it. I chose not to worry about the concept. He licked his moustache back to fluffy whiteness and trotted over to me with a pleased air.

“Come on,” I urged, hooking my hand through his col?lar, though I stood about as much chance of keeping him next to me if he didn't want to be as I did harnessing a tor?nado. We stalked back to the pod-​house, shedding mud as we went. The whole Kobold system seemed to be in har?mony with cleanliness and order. By the time we stepped inside we were both as clean as if we had had baths. Gleep pranced up and collapsed next to Tananda to groom his scales with his long tongue. She sat in an easy chair with her feet up on the table, cleaning her nails with a long knife. Wensley paced back and forth. A groove in the silver-​gray carpet proved he had been engaged in that ac?tivity for some time.

“Where have you been?” Wensley wailed, coming over to wring his hands at me. “What are we waiting for? Every minute, the Pervects could be digging their claws more deeply into our backs. Wuh is in danger, and we are sitting here.”

“Just how much money do you owe them?” Tananda asked. “Couldn't you just work out a solution and pay them off?”

“We have nothing to pay them with,” Wensley whined. “No liquid assets worth speaking of. We would prefer not to deed them the equivalent in land, and our people chafe at the notion of working off the fee as involuntary personal assistants.”

Indentured servants, I translated. I gave a moment of thought to being personal valet to a Pervect, and the pic?tures that sprang to mind made me shiver.

"As it is, they control all our manufacturing. We have no

tourism. 'Come and see our historical castle, currently un?der permanent occupation by an outside consulting firm.'"

“Listen, cutie,” Tananda began, stopping her manicure to point the knife at him. 'The Great Skeeve is taking time away from his very important studies to help you. Do you want him to back out? I'm sure he'd be thrilled to go back to the work he was doing when you interrupted him."

“No!” Wensley exclaimed. He came over to wring my hand, his eyes wide with horror. “Forgive me, Skeeve. I wasn't thinking. Of course you must do what you think is right...