Lock, Stock, and Feral by Addison Moore (free e novels .txt) 📕

“And you can’t tell your siblings.” Mom gives me a stern look that amounts to a death threat.

Two Old Broads is an eclectic little shop that sells wonky quilts in all its configurations. The store is as cozy as can be with its red painted doors that lead inside and its pastel walls and rustic wood floors. There’s a candle burning on the checkout counter and the entire place is permeated with the scent of lavender.

Not only do they sell candles and knickknacks, and a few of Georgie’s art pieces, but by and large they sell quilts in every configuration. But as fate and the upper eighties temperatures outside would have it, there’s not a very big market for blankets this time of year. Last month, they filmed a show, put it out on the internet, and experienced a spike in sales, but that seems to have dropped off, too.

“Mom”—I gently grip her by the shoulder—“what happened?” I don’t bother telling her that I’ve already texted Macy and Hux. I couldn’t help it. She called in hysterics telling me she was being robbed at gunpoint and that she needed both Jasper and me to get the culprit. Of course, my siblings are going to be concerned. “Just start from the beginning.”

“Most of this is Camila Ryder’s fault.” Mom gives Clyde a rather furtive kiss on her furry little forehead.

“What?” Jasper and I say in unison.

“You heard me.” She looks at Jasper accusingly. “It was that ridiculous show of hers. She’s spotlighted Romero and me twice, calling us the next natural disaster to hit Cider Cove. She’s glommed on to that whole catfishing idea you and your siblings put in her mind.”

My mouth falls open. “Mom, did Camila rob you at gunpoint? How does she factor into this?”

“She might as well have.” She scoffs. “After she put out that information, some loon must have hacked into Romero’s computer and then I woke up this morning to this email.” She taps into her phone before handing it my way.

“Attention, Ms. Baker”—I read out loud for all to hear, and considering there are no customers in here at the moment, nobody is objecting—“I have obtained thirteen nude photos of you. I am sure you would not want these to fall into the wrong hands. That would be very embarrassing for your family and friends. If you were my mother, I would want you to buy them all back. These pictures are safeguarded with me right now. But if you don’t send twenty-five thousand dollars to the email address below, I’ll be forced to sell them to the highest bidder. Pictures of this quality can sell for quite a lot, and since I’ve recently lost my job, my hands are tied. I’ve added the pictures here as an attachment so you can see they are indeed of you. Once someone else purchases these photos, they will be the owner of the content and will be free to distribute them in a wide variety of ways such as postcards, mugs, T-shirts, and blankets. Trust me, you do not want that. Send the money today and put this entire nightmare behind you. Why risk humiliation and entrapment? You have twenty-four hours. Yours coolly, a friend.”

Jasper groans. “All right.” He takes the phone from me. “We’ve got a cyber division down at the station that I work in conjunction with, but considering the nature of those photos, I think I’ll have to handle this one on my own.”

Clyde mewls, I think Jasper likes the pictures.

I shake my head over at the orange ball of fluff. “Believe me, Jasper won’t look at the pictures.”

Jasper blows out a breath. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to open them all up if I want to dig into the digital stamps embedded in them. They could point me in the right direction.”

Now it’s Mom who’s groaning. “Great. Just what I wanted. My son-in-law seeing my good side.” And to think I shaved myself silly for this nonsense.

Georgie and Juni chuckle up a storm.

“Look at the bright side”—Georgie steps in close—“if you don’t pay up, and someone makes up some merch, we could buy up the inventory and sell it right here in the shop. Mugs, pillows, blankets. We could advertise at the biker bar out in Edison. I bet we’d sell out like sweet cheeks.” She winks. “Get it? Sweet cheeks?” She gives my mother a swat on her bottom.

“I get it.” Mom is quick to shove her off. “Jasper, you have to help me. I have twenty-four hours, you saw that yourself.”

“Can I use your computer?” He nods to the desk next to the register. “And I’ll need to get into those emails you were exchanging with Romero.” Lord knows which will be worse to look at, the nudes or the emails. He winces my way. Sorry, Bizzy.

I shrug up at him because he’s right.

A sickly moan comes from my mother. Good grief. How can I show anyone those steamy email exchanges, let alone my son-in-law?

Fish yowls as she heads my way and I scoop her up. This is going to be damaging, isn’t it?

Sherlock barks. Yup—to Jasper’s psyche.

“Okay, fine.” Mom tosses her hands in the air and nearly sends Clyde flying. “But you have to promise me not to read them.” She navigates us over to her laptop, and no sooner does she open it up than both Hux and Macy speed their way over.

“What the hell is going on?” Hux bellows as he and Macy appear next to me.

“The fun’s about to start,” Juni says as she elbows Georgie. “I’ll go get the folding chairs from the back.”

“Good thinking,” Georgie says. “And I’ve got a batch of those green cookies back there that I swiped from the café this morning. Bring those, too. We’ll need something to munch on.”

“Green cookies?” Mom balks. “I think I’m going to be green.” Hey? If I lose my lunch on the keyboard, maybe this laptop will blow up