Jealous Storm by Jack Stroke (book recommendations .txt) 📕

to hold her hand but she didn’t want that. She told him all about her history with Ellis, the wedge he had driven between her and Megan and that afternoon at their place, how he assaulted her. How close it came to being much, much worse. There was no anger or tears, merely overwhelming numbness.

“Wow…” he said once she had finished.

“You know, in all this time, you’re the first person I have ever told.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. That’s a lot to process. Must’ve been an awful lot for you to carry around all this time.”

They sat in silence. Finally Vaughan said: “Okay. So what?”

Did she hear correctly? Surely not. All the blood rushed to Amber’s head like it was about to explode. “So what?” She spat through gritted teeth. “How about you want to go find the creep and kill him? That’s what a real boyfriend would do.”

“Oh, I’m your boyfriend now, am I?”

“Not for much longer.”

“What? Do you reckon I’m going to go and beat Ellis up? I think we both know you would be a lot better at that than I would.”

“Some sort of anger would be nice.”

“Are you worried he’s going to attack you again?”

“Ellis? Physically? Ha. I’d like to see him try. He wouldn’t dare.”

“What’s the issue then?”

It took everything not to let her anger get the better of her. “Am I speaking another language? He assaulted me. He was going to rape me. Weren’t you listening?”

“I was. But it was twenty years ago.”

“Oh, that makes it all right, does it? Maybe he could have killed me. You wouldn’t have cared about that? Or would you say, ‘Ah, it was twenty years ago. Doesn’t matter.’”

“Stop and listen.” He put a hand on her arm, which was decidedly brave, given her level of fury. “In no way am I diminishing what happened or excusing what he did. It’s utterly repellent. My point is, look at you. You thrived and prospered.”

“Barely survived. Hardly prospered. How can you… This thing ruined my entire life.”

“Not from where I’m sitting. You’re amazing, kid. You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re funny.”

The compliment took Amber by surprise. With no idea how to respond, she hit him in the arm.

“I’m serious. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re so self-assured and confident. You’re very good at what you do.”

“You have no idea what I do.”

“Only because you refuse to share. But it’s pretty obvious you’re good at it. You’ve got a good life here and you’re happy. Why would you risk all of that for a would-be rapist loser? For a guy who looks like he peaked in high school, if at all?”

“I’m not the one risking everything.”

“You sure about that? Look, if you want to do something about all this, go to the police.”

“It was twenty years ago.”

“That’s what I said and you got mad at me.”

“Don’t push it… Look, the whole thing, it’s too long ago. The police won’t care.”

“Okay, so what do you want to do? Other than some half-brained foolishness about getting him busted with drugs?”

“You don’t understand about Ellis.”

“What?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It doesn’t seem complicated. Look, that time he tried to assault you, that sounds horrific. Harrowing. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to live through. I’m sure it had a tremendous impact on your life at the time, like you say. But guess what? You did live through it. You made it. You say it ruined your life back then. Okay. Understood. Don’t let it ruin your life twice.”

“I’m not… I’m…”

“I just don’t get why someone like you would be scared of this guy.”

“I’m not scared of him, Vaughan.”

Vaughan chipped away at a stain on the floor with a fingernail. “Okay. You’re not scared of him. Why all this? Why drugs and Grubby and nonsense for someone you’re not scared of? What is the actual issue?”

What indeed?

52

Eighteen years earlier

Megan struggled through the door, baby in one hand, an oversized bag in the other.

“Ellis? Little monster won’t go to sleep. Can you —”

She almost walked straight into Amber before she saw her.

“Oh, hey, Amber. Can’t get Ben to sleep. Wouldn’t sleep last night, won’t sleep now. Ellis, can you take him for a walk or something?” She glanced about. “Is Ellis here?”

Megan looked tired. That’s about all Amber could tell. Everything else was a blur. Amber struggled to breathe. It was like she had been sucked out of the moment somehow. There, yet are not really.

Ellis strutted out of the bedroom, cool as anything. Like he hadn’t just been all over Amber, tearing at her clothes. Like nothing had happened. Had something happened? Almost, yet not.

“What are you two up to?” Megan asked.

Oh, God. She knew. Horrible guilt filled Amber.

“Nothing,” Ellis said. “Amber just stopped by to see Ben.”

He pointed at the two presents.

“Wow, thanks, Amber. Nice to see you two getting along for once.”

“I… have to go.”

“No, stay for a bit.” She gave Ellis Ben. “At least until I open these.”

No more words came. Amber simply shook her head and left. She didn’t run, although it wasn’t too far off.

“Amber? Amber!”

Somewhere inside she registered Megan’s voice. She couldn’t stop though. Not now.

Amber found herself at Joan’s place. She had no memory of how she got there or of making any sort of decision to go there, it’s simply where she found herself. Her brain on automatic, guiding her to somewhere safe.

She knocked at the door and Pablo answered.

“Amber…”

His warm smile didn’t help. She couldn’t speak, she could only choke back tears. With every new moment, the reality of what just happened got worse, stalking her. Lovely as Megan’s father was, he was useless in these sorts of situations. Panic quickly reached his eyes.

“I’ll go… Let me get Joan.”

“Oh, Amber. What’s wrong?” Joan asked, guiding her in.

Amber allowed herself to be led to the couch. Pablo passed her a glass of water and hovered awkwardly until Joan indicated he should leave. He didn’t need to be asked twice.

Joan wrapped Amber up in a