The Dark Lord Bert 2 by Chris Fox (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📕

“Why did White spare you?” Nutpuncher moved to the counter, and fixed the shopkeeper with a suspicious stare.

“I can explain.” Kit raised a hand. “White wants to make sure his keep has every amenity it can, because some of the upgrades he’ll be seeking have prerequisites. Shopkeepers will always be safe, even if White is the only person he allows to shop.”

The shopkeeper nodded confirmation of that. “We’ve been spared, a few of us at least.”

“Bert hoping you can give us news.” Bert adopted a more serious expression. “What White doing?”

“Oh, I’ve kept my eye on things.” The shopkeeper shuffled over to a stool and sat heavily. “Not hard to do with almost no one in town. White sent his ogre friend with an army of undead into the swamp. They went after the trolls.”

“That’s pure foolishness.” Kit rolled her eyes. “Everyone know trolls are only trying to waste your time. Why else live in a swamp?”

“Whatever the reason…he succeeded.” The old man shivered. “White pacified the trolls. Got them to toe the line. I’ve heard talk he’s trying to weaponize them, but I don’t have any details.”

“Is okay.” Bert raised a hand. “Bert will meet with spymaster to get details. Can use shop as base of operations?”

“Of course! I’d be proud to be part of the resistance.” The old man straightened, and wore a certain sort of dignity.

“Yay! Now Bert take friends to meet spymaster. Be back soon.” Bert moved to the door, and she realized he’d become their leader. Her trope made her intelligent, but Bert’s made him practically a god.

Would it be enough? They had to try.

26

A Hasty Plan

After Bert had walked Boberton around to the rear of the stable he returned to the front of the building where Kit and his new gnome buddy were waiting. Their cloaks were pulled tight about them to combat the chill, which deepened as night grew.

“Okay, this way.” Bert retraced his steps, and realized it had been a very, very long time since he’d had to walk this great a distance unaided. Normally he had Boberton, or a wagon. Bert had become spoiled!

He didn’t even have to carry a pack, which he’d left inside the wagon. That made walking easy, and it was mostly downhill anyway. He brought them all the way back to the bridge, then down a set of stairs on the side that led them to the moat underneath.

Bert relaxed when he saw that his people had already gathered. Six owls, twelve ravens, eleven squirrels, and one slug with the finger of the king pinned to his…slime. Everyone with a limb snapped a salute as Bert approached.

“Ah, your lordship.” The slug gave a slug-like bow. “We knew you would return. We’ve gathered each evening, as you requested, and have prepared a detailed report on White’s comings and goings. He doesn’t really come or go, so much as he stays in his keep. Mostly it’s the ogre coming and going.”

“Hmm.” Bert frowned and began to pace. Behind him Kit and the gnome sat down against the wall, but he focused on thinking. “White scary. White built scary defenses. White expect adventurers. White also know about Bert, and Kit, and gnome-who-punch-nuts. Must get White to leave keep, and come to us. How get White to leave?”

Bert looked up at Kit, and then to the gnome. They’d traveled with White, so they had the best chance of understanding how and why he did things.

“It won’t be easy.” The gnome shook his head. “White is all about self-preservation, and he knows he’s safe if he doesn’t leave that keep. It would take something he wanted badly to get him out.”

“What about sky rock?” Bert rubbed his hands together, and looked a proper dark lord for once. “Rock make everyone who see it want it. Only one in whole world. We send gnome-buddy to tell White that he see rock, and rock very powerful. You tell necromancer need help to get rock. If he greedy he come out of castle, to come get rock.”

“That’s where I see a major problem.” Kit folded her hands in her lap, and enjoyed the shop’s fireplace, which roared merrily, a contrast to the chill night. “White and Crushstuff excel at kicking in dungeons. I saw the monsters at your disposal. Those poor creatures won’t stand a chance. White will easily get past them.”

“Ah!” Bert raised a single instructive finger. “Bert want White to get through dungeon. Everyone who touch rock go POOF. White strong. Really strong. Not sure we can kill. White can probably block spells.”

“Almost certainly.” Kit nodded along. “He’ll have that and many other defenses. There’s a good chance this rock won’t even affect him.”

“Maybe.” Bert gave a heavy sigh. She was right. It might not work. But they had to try. “Bert willing to try. Bert think rock will kill White. If not…then we get White into Bert’s territory. Bert can look at character sheet, and maybe find way to stop White.”

“He’s right.” Nutpuncher folded his arms, which caused him to flex his tiny gnome muscles. “We need to try. I can tell White the truth about the stone so I don’t need to lie, and then he can cast a scrying spell to confirm it. I’d recommend getting back to the dungeon quickly, because White has that flying carpet, and he can carry an entire army on it. He’ll be dropping off several crack legions right on your doorstep.”

“Bert will tell monsters to hide.” Bert rubbed his hands together, and adopted a vengeful look. Or what he hoped was a vengeful look. Maybe he should puff out his cheeks. “White will get to sky rock, and sky rock will work. Has to work.”

If it did not, Bert didn’t know what to do. Even if he set up a kingdom somewhere else White would eventually find it. There had to be a way to stop him, even if doing so meant that Bert might…die.

Who would take care of Boberton?

“I