The Dark Lord Bert 2 by Chris Fox (bookstand for reading .TXT) 📕

“Bert, what’s going on?” Kit rushed up to the stage and knelt next to the perplexed goblin, who blinked up at her with large eyes.

“Monsters unionize,” Bert explained with a sad sigh. He shifted back and forth from foot to foot and eyed them in consternation. “Bert worried they get killed, but they won’t leave. So Bert think only one choice. Have to fight.”

“There’s a spot of good news on that front.” Kit moved to the corner of the room, as far from where enemy forces would appear as she could get. “White won’t come himself, not at first. He’ll test your defenses. That means he’ll send a bunch of wights.”

“Okay. We fight.” Bert balled a fist, and peered up at her with determination. “Bert want to buff monsters. Kit good sorceress. What buffs we use?”

“Haste. Barkskin. Mirror image.” Kit began ticking off fingers. “I can cast most of them, and I already have them memorized. All I get to do with White is buff.”

“Bert remember.” He rolled his eyes, and she recalled that Bert had shadowed them for months. He’d seen everything she’d been through, even if she hadn’t been aware of it at the time. “Bert remember White get mad even when you do what he tell you. Please buff monsters.”

So Kit did. She began her familiar litany of buff spells, chosen first by duration, then by potency of effect. Adventurers stacked buffs as high as they could before a fight, which increased their power exponentially. Haste gave an extra attack. Bull’s strength made them hit harder, and more accurately. Mirror image projected ghostly doubles so your opponent didn’t know which was real.

On and on she layered the buffs until the monsters glowed with power. She’d only just finished when they heard the clanking of many booted feet in the distance.

Kit saved her final spell for herself, and whispered an invisibility. She faded into the shadows, completely obscured to all non-magical sight. Bert got the same benefits simply by being a critter, though she did see him casting several buff spells.

“I like your armor,” she whispered from the shadows. “Very menacing.”

“Yes!” Bert hopped up and down. “Bert scary. Rawr!”

The first wight marched into the room. It held a kite shield before it, which protected everything from the thighs up. Well, theoretically at least.

The hungry hungry rhino stepped before the other monsters and sucked in a tremendous breath. At first Kit had no idea how that might intimidate the many undead marching into the room, but then the rhino began spitting projectiles.

Marbles flashed through the room, the dense glass slamming into targets with hideous force. The first three all pinged off the shield, each knocking the wight back a step. Then two more marbles took it in the knees, and it toppled.

Another wight leapt through the gap, and another, but Sheila the spider rushed forward, larger and stronger than the undead. She seized the first two, and then the pair behind them, and began wielding them as weapons. Four of her legs spun as the wights crashed into their companions, and the spider killed dozens, until their bodies piled high enough to block the door.

“Save some for us!” one of the Gulls cried. A whole flock of Naz Gulls waddled over to where Sheila fought.

The spider abandoned the wights she’d been using as weapons, and instead seized a quartet of Naz Gulls. She spun the birds around her, each screeching in terror as she pushed out of the room into the hallway where the undead had come from.

To Kit’s immense surprise the spider forced White’s forces back, and the other monsters followed her as they took the fight to the enemy.

The Brownie Monster charged past his companions and tackled a wight. “B for brownie!” He began slamming its skull into the ground until he’d crushed it to powder.

All around them the wights fell back, and Kit’s breast swelled with pride as Bert’s forces pushed back the undead. On and on they drove them, until they forced the last few wights back out of the labyrinth.

Ragged cheers went up from the monsters, and Bert walked down the line high-fiving his minions. “Good job! Good job! You get raise, Sheila. And promotion. You definitely in charge of other monsters.”

The spider picked up her pink purse and withdrew a handkerchief so she could blow her…whatever spiders had in place of a nose. “I’m so grateful. Thank you so much, Dark Lord. I’ve always wanted to be in charge of something.”

“Bert have favor though.” He shifted back and forth uncomfortably. “If bad necromancer come in dungeon must let Bert deal with him. Try to keep monsters away, or they will get killed.”

“I’m sorry, Lord. I can’t do that.” Sheila gave a low arachnid bow. “It’s our job to protect you, or die trying. You should get to safety. Don’t you worry. We’ll stop them!”

Kit wasn’t so sure, but followed Bert as the goblin reluctantly trudged from the room.

31

Brownie Bits

White suppressed a surge of irritation as the last of his legion fell in the very entryway of the labyrinth. It told him that the defenders hadn’t merely given ground, but had been strong enough to force the invaders out of their territory. It meant a second legion would meet the same fate. And probably a third.

Even producing eleven wights an hour he wasn’t willing to sacrifice any more legions. White needed to deal with this situation personally.

He smoothed his tunic and strode into the mouth of hell, the cavernous entryway to Mount Dhuuum. There was no sign of the defenders, who’d wisely fallen back rather than face him directly. He wouldn’t want to face himself either.

That left White alone in the maze, and he slowly and methodically wandered. And wandered. And wandered. Eventually he realized there must be some sort of enchantment that prevented victims from leaving the maze. That had to be it. It